Does Cocaine Addiction Cause Physical Violence?

My fiance has become physically violent towards me, and threatened to kill me if I leave. This is not the person I agreed to spend the rest of my life with. I know he has recently started using cocaine, can this be the cause of his violence? Please help.
Yes!!!

my father had been doing the same to my mother. The one day I went over to their house, she went back to wake him up for work. she tried a few different times, and the fourth time, he told her that he was going to kill her and called her a c*nt. (sorry to offend anyone). He finally got up, and was angry. He went to the bathroom and she was folding clothes. This didn't put her in a happy mood (and she didn't know he was using). He asked her for a shirt and she told him to find one himself. He got in her face and told her to watch it. she (being my mom) chuckled and said "watch what, you? I'm not affraid of you." He grabbed her by her throat, pushed her against a wall in the hallway and told her she better. Read the thread For all unknowing needing to know

Hope this helps...and be careful

LLG
This is only one of several incidences. I'm not sure of what you are going through..(but hurt is hurt no matter the degree)...not knowing your situation, but it doesn't sound good. Need to talk, I'm here.

LLG
Oh my gosh! That sounds like me in that story. What do I do? I'm scared, not just for me but for my kids. My dad was an addict, but my mother ran from him my whole life, so I never knew what he was like. How do I get him off of it. I do I get my fiance back. He chokes me, slaps me, he's put his foot in my throat and threatened to crush my head. I never knew he could ever be like this. I'm scared!
Dear Abused,
I think you should get out of there, your relationship is over with him.
He has a new love in his life, and he'll do anything for it.
My advice would be, don't let him know where you are, your not safe.
I was abused for many years before I ran away and hid for 2 years with my kids, then I thought he deserved another chance so I called him - big mistake.
I ended up running away from his abuse again
Don't let it happen to you.
Nancy
I know what he is capable of I don't think I can run far enough. He had told me he was addicted to cocaine years ago when he put a man in the hospital for 4 months, the man now has a metal plate in his head. It didn't hit me until now that when he did this he was using. He's not the true father of my kids but he has been there since birth, I don't want them to loose him, I want to help him, I just don't know how. I do know what he's like with out cocaine too, and he is a very loving and gentle man, I just want that back.
I agree, get out as soon as possible. Start by reporting this behavior and calling domestic violence. Try finding somewhere to stay, with your kids (my younger brother was involved the way your children are), and I would start looking for a new life. He did find a new love and it is sooo hard to regain it from the user/addict. He has to ultimately help himself...so right now, focus on you!

I'll pray for you! Please, keep in touch.
(((Abused gf))))
LLG
remember...they all lie, cheat, and steal. They can be capable of killing (depending on the person).
I know he's only been using for about 6 months.....is there nothing I can do to help?
He is the one that needs to want help. You can't force a person to change. Right now my father is in detox. How'd he get there? He was still high and wasn't coming down (because of continued use) and he called my Aunt to get him. She did and took him to a hospital first. He stayed there to lower his levels, and then went to detox the next day. Right now, he isn't stable and making VERY little progress...he doesn't want to be there, he won't leave his room. All he does is sleep. He says he won't go out there because there are black guys in the group meeting...(that is so NOT my dad). If he had it his way, he would leave, sign himself out. But now they took it into their hands and he can't leave because he is so unstable. We aren't sure how long he's been using, it could date back to as far as a year ago, maybe only 6 months...but what ever it is, it's not good. He has made the first step by getting there, but it was when he was higher than he could even handle...he just wanted to come down, but couldn't walk away from it. If this anger is something you can deal with and you don't want to leave, god bless you, but you are risking it. I would act as soon as you can. The up's are most likely what's keeping you, but the down's can only get worse. Coming here is a good step for you, now you just need the courage to do what you know needs to be done.

God Bless
LLG
Hi Abused!

Sorry to interupt your conversation like this, but you need to be thinking about calling the police. Don't wait until this happens again...

If you want to help him, start by doing this so that he realizes his behaviour is more than unacceptable. Maybe this touches me a little more because I have a daughter, and I wouldn't hesitate to do 20 for protecting her if someone ever treated her this badly. I won't judge your man, but he needs to be shown that this sh*t is over... Did I use the word "man" to describe him? Sorry, typo...

If you want to help him, end this relationship. Start a new life, this one's heading the wrong way...

Good luck & God Bless,
JC
(((abused)))

WE ARE BEHIND YOU...NOW MAKE A STAND FOR YOURSELF AND YOUR CHILDREN! SOMEONE IS ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU....DON'T BE AFFRAID TO HELP YOURSELF....I'LL BE PRAYING

LLG
Dear Abuse, Virbal threats are abuse please get a restraining order right away.This sounds to me like he might hurt you. God bless you please don't wait until you get hurt. Kim
I confess that my boyfriend has gotten physically and verbally abusive with me as well while coming down from crack. So I know how you feel..I've lived with it far too long. But he's stopped ever since I phoned the police on him, and tried to have him charged but they didnt' charge him because I had no marks.

But they warned him one more time and they will charge him and throw him in jail. You need to go to the police or he won't stop!
My boyfriend is cool when clean too, but drugs can make them violent, especially since they are angry in the first place. He's going to anger management counseling next week as well.

But you need to do something about your situation. My brothers ex roomate was high on Acid the night he went too far and killed his girlfriend, he has life in jail now with no parole for 14 years. And their child is an orphan.

Please be careful.
G/F-
You can't help him, you can only help yourself. Get out before he hurts your kids. He is no longer the man you use to know. IMHO he ain't no man at all. Do whatever it takes, call the police, get a restraining order, sneak out in the middle of the night, go to a womens shelter if you have to. Do what you know is right. You MUST leave him NOW. It's only going to get worse, you know that right? Listen to what your head and you gut is telling you.
Julie,
My heart goes out to you as well as G/F. My mother called the police on my dad due to his physically abusive behavior. He was also leaving life threatening messages on her cell phone. She didn't get marks on her neck, the one time she didn't bruise...she bruises easily, so there was no proof exect for her and my younger brother and I's word. But my little brother would have been too torn to stick up for her. When she called the police, he stopped. At first he was hanging up on them, then the cop kept calling back. He finally stopped because my husband told him to keep his head, that he could go to jail. My father had warrents out for his arrest due to financial troubles and things he had fines for. So if he got in trouble with the law once more, he would have gone to jail. So G/F...I hope you take all of our advice and seek help.

Much love and prayers

LLG
Thanks LLG,

I'm sorry to hear about what your dad put your mom and you guys through. I've heard that drugs do cause violent behaviour in a lot of people. But of course, not to all addicts. Just like my sisters husband is an alcoholic but he just doesn't get violent, he keeps to himself and passes out. .My ex and my current boyfriend, and my brother, they drink, they can get violent. I won't allow my boyfriend to be around me when he drinks. He drank a lot at his staff Christmas party and we got into an arguement and he slapped me. He only acts this way drunk or coming down from crack..he's choked me, he's pulled my hair, pushed me..etc. It ended when I called the cops. They had enough of coming all the time, (a couple of times for fighting, and once I called the police because he was doing crack in my apartment and they made him leave. He's lucky they didn't find it on him or he'd be in jail right now) they told him next time he goes to jail. So he hasn't laid a hand on me since.
We broke up for awhile after that too, but he starts his anger management counseling right away which will be good for him.

On Dr Phil that guy was pretty violent and abusive when he was on drugs, and like they said its common behaviour. Thats why its not good to stay in that situation, not ever. Its worse than putting up with their addiction alone because then on top of it we put up with the abuse.

I hope your dad recovers from this..and ABUSED G/F, you don't need this in your life, and I know I don't either. I know where you're coming from though I was in your situation as well not that long ago. If he wouldn't have stopped, (he didn't act like this all the time) then I'd have left, because I finally had it. I just hang in there now because he's supposed to leave in one month from today for rehab. THANK GOD!


Take care LLG and Abused G/F
I know that my husband has lost it quite a few times. He has totally trashed the house, threw tables, plants, the couch, and punch holes in the walls. He has never touched me- but it is scary. They are capable of doing ANYTHING on coke. Expect the unexpected- don't take his threats lightly.
My husband is an easy going, kind man but coke makes him into an evil monster.
Beware and be safe- don't let him bring you down