My partner has been addicted to heroin for 9 month. He has been trying to stop for 6 month. But it seems to get worse. He stops for a few days now but will then take it again, and Valium if he can get it. We have a baby and I'm so tired of fighting and trying to trust him and have faith, because every time I do that it gets thrown back in my face. I want our family to be together. But I don't know what to do anymore. I thought this forum might be good to talk to others in a similar situation. Thanks
Does everyone date heroin addicts or what ? Please read some of the threads here. Sorry...I'm a heroin addict at 2 weeks clean and I've had a really bad day today...long message short. .no...it doesn't get any easier for either of us...and he won't stay clean ...not a chance and no he won't give it up for you the kids or hell until he wants to..and by then...he won't be able to. ..no asking pleading begging or love in the world will make him...he needs a detox..rehab.and na mtgs...sorry ....family members will have more for you...
First I want to let you know, you cannot trust your partner. He is a heroin addict and that means that his addiction comes first, yes, even before you and his child. You need to take you and your baby out of that environment. You have an obligation to your baby. Your partner needs to detox and go to regular meetings for at least a year before I would even let him around to see the child. I'm sorry but there's nothing that you can do that will make a difference. It's all on him. God bless.
Michelle
Michelle
Hope,
Short story...I was married to a guy that hurt me physically & every other way he could, while I was pregnant & after I had my son. I was beaten & thrown into many walls, etc...
My baby was my reason to get out of that situation. I did not want to raise my son thinking that was the way for HIM to live HIS life! To abuse women.... Plus the guy started to sell drugs to kids.
I loved my son more than myself. I did love the husband I had at that time, but I loved my baby more....more than myself. He was 6 weeks old.
Yes, hard to believe now, but I still loved the creep. He never sent child support . I'm grateful he didn't. Then we'd have had to deal with him. He's never even tried, thank God. My son never wants to see him. He's now 30 yrs old.
My husband now of 25 years, has raised OUR son since he was 3 1/2 yrs old. Our son works for the government now. You know he wouldn't have nor would he be happily married, have a dog he adores, a new house, and doing awesome, traveling all over the states & then some....had I stayed with his 'father'.
If you don't boot him out or leave for yourself, do it for your child who's placing all his or her trust in you. Imagine... your baby sees things already, even though he or she is still so little.
I agree with Con & Shell. Brief but precise.
Get out honey, before it gets any worse. He needs to go this path alone for now. He has to be HIS priority. He's no good for you & the baby as he is.
And you deserve a brighter, happier, more hopeful future, as does your baby. ((hugs))
Will be thinking of you.
Love & God bless you,
Dee
Short story...I was married to a guy that hurt me physically & every other way he could, while I was pregnant & after I had my son. I was beaten & thrown into many walls, etc...
My baby was my reason to get out of that situation. I did not want to raise my son thinking that was the way for HIM to live HIS life! To abuse women.... Plus the guy started to sell drugs to kids.
I loved my son more than myself. I did love the husband I had at that time, but I loved my baby more....more than myself. He was 6 weeks old.
Yes, hard to believe now, but I still loved the creep. He never sent child support . I'm grateful he didn't. Then we'd have had to deal with him. He's never even tried, thank God. My son never wants to see him. He's now 30 yrs old.
My husband now of 25 years, has raised OUR son since he was 3 1/2 yrs old. Our son works for the government now. You know he wouldn't have nor would he be happily married, have a dog he adores, a new house, and doing awesome, traveling all over the states & then some....had I stayed with his 'father'.
If you don't boot him out or leave for yourself, do it for your child who's placing all his or her trust in you. Imagine... your baby sees things already, even though he or she is still so little.
I agree with Con & Shell. Brief but precise.
Get out honey, before it gets any worse. He needs to go this path alone for now. He has to be HIS priority. He's no good for you & the baby as he is.
And you deserve a brighter, happier, more hopeful future, as does your baby. ((hugs))
Will be thinking of you.
Love & God bless you,
Dee
HOPEFORFOREVER,
PLEASE TAKE THE ADVICE YOU HAVE RECEIVED TO HEART. READ AS MANY THREADS HERE AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN. IT RARELY GETS BETTER AND I KNOW YOU THINK YOUR PARTNER IS SOMEHOW DIFFERENT, YOUR LOVE IS SOMEHOW DIFFERENT, THAT FOR SOME UNEARTHLY REASON YOU WILL BE THE COUPLE WHO MAKES IT THROUGH THIS - BUT ODDS ARE YOU WON'T. THEY REALLY ARE.
YOU SAY HE HAS BEEN AN ADDICT FOR 6 MONTHS...HOW DID THAT SUDDENLY START? MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY? HE CAN TRY AND QUIT ALL HE WANTS, DETOX, REHAB, MEDICATION, COLD TURKEY, BUT UNTIL HE FINDS OUT WHY HE WENT THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE - IT WON'T DO MUCH GOOD AND THE CHANCE HE WILL GO BACK WILL ALWAYS BE THERE. ACTUALLY, THE CHANCE HE WILL ALWAYS GO BACK WILL ALWAYS BE AROUND. THAT WILL NEVER GO AWAY.
ALL THE THINGS YOU WANT - GO GETTUM! FOR YOU, FOR YOUR BABY - DON'T WAIT AROUND FOR HIM IF HE IS EVER READY HE KNOWS WHERE HE CAN COME AND FIND YOU. DON'T WASTE ANOTHER MINUTE.
PLEASE TAKE THE ADVICE YOU HAVE RECEIVED TO HEART. READ AS MANY THREADS HERE AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN. IT RARELY GETS BETTER AND I KNOW YOU THINK YOUR PARTNER IS SOMEHOW DIFFERENT, YOUR LOVE IS SOMEHOW DIFFERENT, THAT FOR SOME UNEARTHLY REASON YOU WILL BE THE COUPLE WHO MAKES IT THROUGH THIS - BUT ODDS ARE YOU WON'T. THEY REALLY ARE.
YOU SAY HE HAS BEEN AN ADDICT FOR 6 MONTHS...HOW DID THAT SUDDENLY START? MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY? HE CAN TRY AND QUIT ALL HE WANTS, DETOX, REHAB, MEDICATION, COLD TURKEY, BUT UNTIL HE FINDS OUT WHY HE WENT THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE - IT WON'T DO MUCH GOOD AND THE CHANCE HE WILL GO BACK WILL ALWAYS BE THERE. ACTUALLY, THE CHANCE HE WILL ALWAYS GO BACK WILL ALWAYS BE AROUND. THAT WILL NEVER GO AWAY.
ALL THE THINGS YOU WANT - GO GETTUM! FOR YOU, FOR YOUR BABY - DON'T WAIT AROUND FOR HIM IF HE IS EVER READY HE KNOWS WHERE HE CAN COME AND FIND YOU. DON'T WASTE ANOTHER MINUTE.
I'm sorry that you are going through this situation right now. I can't imagine all of the stress especially with a baby. Unfortunately heroin changes the people we once knew and loved and turns them into something you would never imagine. First you should take care of yourself and your baby, make sure he is not a threat to you and that you are safe. If you want to be a family and know this person well and that he is capable of being a good father and partner for you then encourage him to go to an inpatient rehab center.. For a long time. Depending on what state you live in he can stay anywhere from 1-4months. The longer the better. This will be hard for you but I guarantee it will do a lot of good. He will remember what it feels like to be sober and productive and it will be a long haul but I'm sure it will give him a better glimpse of what his life could be like with you and your child if he were sober. Unfortunately if he refuses to actually go somewhere and get help I would say you have to let him go. Let him figure it out on his own. Tell him you will be there when he wants to get help but until that you can not put yourself through that. Without someone constantly there to help him he won't know what to do anymore besides get help and get his life back in order. Good luck to you and your baby, and please take care of yourself!
