Hi there,
I've found this a useful way to sort out my jumble of thoughts these last few days, I have spent 12 years in a 12 step envoirnment (gambling) before walking away a few weeks ago because i could not take the helplessness and the victimology anymore, now i find that i need to do something about my inability to control alcohol and I'm not sure which way to turn.... well i am sure which way to turn i'm just not sure which way it will work out, well i am sure which way it will turn out it's just that i'm afraid of giving people in my life the opportunity to say "I told you so" ......... come to think of it... that was my big problem with the 12 step group in the first place..... the "i told you so" attitude. I now know that counselling is the right route for me now because i have to discover why i have spent my life fearing "I told you so" ...... I'd prefer to be big and brave and just get on with it all....... so here goes.....thanks...
PS. I will never drink / gamble / smoke again. They are obstacles that impede me getting to my goals in life. in a very strange way i don't really admire people who do any of the above.......thanks for listening
Paul, speaking from myself, and I am sure others here are in the same position, we are not here to judge. We have common problem and want to do something about it. It is so easy to blame the person addicted or, a label I do hate to use, "the alcoholic". I think we as human beings feel the need to blame.
Unfortunately, pride can set you up for a big fall in my opinion. Because if you fail, well...... I am so guilty of this. That is why I don't even have a sobriety date. All I know is it was sometime late last Feb when I took my last drink.
Sounds to me like you are really beating yourself up :( Personally, I had to forgive myself and move on, I still fight with it when I think of all the time lost, jobs lost, poor family relationships.....etc... But you have to go on knowing that it will be better....you know what you have to do. We all do.
I am only nine months sober (or almost). I hope some of our members with long-term sobriety will share their experience regarding pride and their sobriety.
Best wishes,
TB
Unfortunately, pride can set you up for a big fall in my opinion. Because if you fail, well...... I am so guilty of this. That is why I don't even have a sobriety date. All I know is it was sometime late last Feb when I took my last drink.
Sounds to me like you are really beating yourself up :( Personally, I had to forgive myself and move on, I still fight with it when I think of all the time lost, jobs lost, poor family relationships.....etc... But you have to go on knowing that it will be better....you know what you have to do. We all do.
I am only nine months sober (or almost). I hope some of our members with long-term sobriety will share their experience regarding pride and their sobriety.
Best wishes,
TB
PAUL N
I have been sober for about 17 yrs and 7 months and when i finally put the cap on the bottle i made sure that i threw my pride in as well before i screwed it on really tight.
Even after all this time sober i still take it day to day and never get cocky or think i am cured by now......and i still have bad days but when i do i will reach out to anybody no matter how much or little sobriety they have and tell them that i am hurting and pride be dammed......cause i know the fall will kill me...and you are always going to have your judges and 'i told you so's' and their words are only words but what you do in the end is what really counts.
MARY
I have been sober for about 17 yrs and 7 months and when i finally put the cap on the bottle i made sure that i threw my pride in as well before i screwed it on really tight.
Even after all this time sober i still take it day to day and never get cocky or think i am cured by now......and i still have bad days but when i do i will reach out to anybody no matter how much or little sobriety they have and tell them that i am hurting and pride be dammed......cause i know the fall will kill me...and you are always going to have your judges and 'i told you so's' and their words are only words but what you do in the end is what really counts.
MARY
