I have been with my fiance for nearly five years. We have a 4 year old son and another one due this December. When we met I knew he had had a problem with Tik but that he was clean (when we met). He was upfront about it. I have not and will never be a drug user, I do not condone it in any way. After almost 2 years together I found out he was using Tik again, i found the pipe in our room. He then stopped for a few months again and then he had another relapse, this time we found out through a urine test. For almost three years now things have been really good, he has been clean and he is healthy and our life with our son has been good. We both have stable full time jobs and we make a decent income together but we also have normal money stresses and day to day stress, but nothing we cannot handle. My fiance is a good father and he is good to me as well. He is in no way abusive and never has been towards me or our son. He is home with us every night and every weekend, he enjoys being with us. He doesnt go out drinking and partying with friends or even alone. He has never once left me or sold our stuff for drugs. We are basically good decent people. We both have decent families and friends and come from good backgrounds, i know drugs dont discriminate but you know what I mean. He has never been in jail or gotten into trouble. He just does the stuff all alone by himself. However, i found out yesterday that he has once again been doing tik. I caught him smoking in the kitchen in the early hours of the morning. He was obviously shocked that I had caught him and I was furious. We had a huge blow up and he denied ever smoking it even though we both know I saw it. He just vehemently denied it. He was basically trying to make me think I was seeing things and that I was paranoid. He then proceeded to go to work and the whole day phoning me and me just asking him to be honest eventually he said yes he did do it but it was only this weekend and he said he knows it has happened before but it wont ever happen again and that he was just messing around with it, etc. all the common excuses one makes. What i want to know is, is it worth it this time? Should i stay AGAIN and hope he never relapses? I feel like i need to stay with him and basically he has killed all the love in me as he has now abused my trust again and especially during what should be a happy time for us, he is excited for our second child but then why does he do this? after all this time? why ruin everything he worked so hard for? I dont believe one can do a drug like tik as a "once-off". I dont think I can trust him after this, it will consume my whole life, I know this for a fact. He is very upset and regretful and I want with all my heart to believe him but I just dont know. He said he doesnt know why he did it again, he said he just did it to do it. I dont know know what to do anymore.
First off...wondering why you two are NOT married yet...considering you have been together 5 yrs and have two kids?
You said he relapsed and WE found out through a urine test....how did this happen?
He does this...again and again....because he is an addict.
Obviously one can't do this TIK as a "once-off".....he already proven that to you.
You are already stating you KNOW FOR A FACT....you will never be able to trust him again....and YES it will consume your whole life...IF YOU LET IT.
If he is saying he doesn't know WHY he used AGAIN then obviously he has NO DEFENSE for NOT continuing this behavior....
Only you can answer the question as to if you should stay or go.....Living with an addict that doesn't get help...hell even if we do get help....is a rollercoaster ....and not the good fun kind...the kind that scares the s*** outta you....the kind thats rickety as hell and you are ALWAYS waiting for it to come crashing apart while you are holding on for dear life....
I suggest a 12 step group for both of you and or counseling. Best of luck...
You said he relapsed and WE found out through a urine test....how did this happen?
He does this...again and again....because he is an addict.
Obviously one can't do this TIK as a "once-off".....he already proven that to you.
You are already stating you KNOW FOR A FACT....you will never be able to trust him again....and YES it will consume your whole life...IF YOU LET IT.
If he is saying he doesn't know WHY he used AGAIN then obviously he has NO DEFENSE for NOT continuing this behavior....
Only you can answer the question as to if you should stay or go.....Living with an addict that doesn't get help...hell even if we do get help....is a rollercoaster ....and not the good fun kind...the kind that scares the s*** outta you....the kind thats rickety as hell and you are ALWAYS waiting for it to come crashing apart while you are holding on for dear life....
I suggest a 12 step group for both of you and or counseling. Best of luck...
We've been dealing with crystal meth induced paranoid schizophrenia here. I believe TIK and meth are the same thing? My brother never knows why he does it either, even when he has nothing to gain and everything to lose. I think that's the definition of addiction, doing something over and over again despite the negative consequences. Another thing that seems to be a universal truth with addicts is that they're magnificent liars. My brother can look so sincere and lie straight to my face about something when I have irrefutable proof. He's not a bad person either, and hasn't stolen from my or others, but he is powerless over his drug addiction whether he wants to admit it or not.
He smoked it in YOUR HOUSE? That's not like second-hand cigarette smoke. That's like putting toxic chemicals in your air and on your surfaces. If you were me, he'd be gone and I would set up some kind of custody/visitation dependent on a clean urine test.
Just so you know, my brother LOVES his daughter. Even so, he'll leave while she's here visiting so that he can go get high. And then he'll feel awful about himself, and he'll want to die. And then he'll call her and tell her that daddy will see her in heaven. Talk about emotional abuse.
Set some boundaries - and protect your children.
He smoked it in YOUR HOUSE? That's not like second-hand cigarette smoke. That's like putting toxic chemicals in your air and on your surfaces. If you were me, he'd be gone and I would set up some kind of custody/visitation dependent on a clean urine test.
Just so you know, my brother LOVES his daughter. Even so, he'll leave while she's here visiting so that he can go get high. And then he'll feel awful about himself, and he'll want to die. And then he'll call her and tell her that daddy will see her in heaven. Talk about emotional abuse.
Set some boundaries - and protect your children.
