ok....just want to update...i finally saw the doc...went in 4 my script and he had come back...i chased his little bavarian butt down ...oh he says...was it too fast ?...wtf...says...well i warned you...im like...well, we agreed 2ml every 2 weeks...oh i guess it got screwed up he says...b******....puts me back on 1.5 and says stay on that now for 6 weeks...see if it helps...fine...i asked him for opinion...asked him what he thought...he doesn't think... doesn't care... doesn't particularly want me around and hopes i don't come back actually...im a working, functioning, paying junkie...guess he likes his junkies desperate and dependent...yes...ive decided if i stay on...pretty much a given right now...that im lookiin for a new clinic and a new doc...if i have to drive an extra 3 hours i swear... so i asked him about bi-weekly's if possible ...tells me the entire country of Germany and Bavaria only allows one week TH's...and people wonder why im angry enough to jump off a perfectly good dose...augh...well...good news is ...im not craving (much) and im not sick (much)...and im not thinking about dope...and it feels so great...nightmare yesterday traveling to where i am now this morning...when i can laugh about it...i will write it...lets just say..9 hours driving and a screwed up hotel reservation....hey....its a test...right ?...
Hey there my friend, I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU,even the ol'man came in and said well good for him !! It's too bad that things are the way they are over there,"across the pond" as you say, it's unreal the way some of them can toy with an addict as it were. I'm so happy to hear that maybe,just maybe,for a little while you won't be feeling like doo doo all the time. It feels great doesn't it ?? And if you REALLY didn't break down and use during that time of "crisis" then you should feel really good about that and know that you gave it all you had to drop like you wanted and that you almost did it on your own. Like I said before there is no shame in failing a "taper".
And there's nothing wrong with being on methadone either!!!
Up until very recently my husband didn't think along the same line as I did regarding taking methadone. Since he has become more involved with our patients in our meetings,he has begun to look at it in another light. He has a better view of what harm reduction is as well as "medically assisted recovery",meaning it is acceptable to be given a medicine(methadone) in your case, to treat your addiction just like if you needed to take any other medicine to keep yourself from being ill. Like having a cold,you take medicine to make you feel better, or to treat the symptoms that make you feel bad. Aspirin for fever, cough drops for a hacking cough, antacid for an upset stomach,methadone for heroin addiction, this pill or that for depression. The list goes on. Sure a clinic is a bit different ,I get that. But it is still a medicine that enables you to be a productive citizen in society. It ALLOWS you to HAVE a life. And your individual case is not like someone elses,like i have said,it is not a "one dose fits all" program..
The harm reduction comes in where you aren't using needles anymore,yours or anyone elses, you have stopped the unhealthy behavior,the illegal behavior and all that other cr*p that I know you know goes with it.
Well as ususal I'm being a blabbermouth but I got so excited to hear you finally decided to stop the detox I got carried away only intending to congraulate you and bolster your decision with a few good facts. YEA for you!!!!
I went to my clinic this am to pick up my 12 pack + 1 and had our K2R,keys 2 recovery meeting ,as well as turned in our 1st finished draft of our clinics first ever newsletter and had a talk with our clinic manager. He is one amazing man and our clinic is lucky to have him. Being kind of on the "other side of the fence" being apart of their patient advocate group I get to see a little more of the inter workings of this corporation. With 25 clinics they need all the help they can get from patient input. Pretty interesting to tell the head of the company about something they are doing wrong,from a patients view and have it seriously looked into. Not your old methadone clinic.
OK I promise I'll shut up now. Have a good night, and hopefully a restful sleep.
Granny
And there's nothing wrong with being on methadone either!!!
Up until very recently my husband didn't think along the same line as I did regarding taking methadone. Since he has become more involved with our patients in our meetings,he has begun to look at it in another light. He has a better view of what harm reduction is as well as "medically assisted recovery",meaning it is acceptable to be given a medicine(methadone) in your case, to treat your addiction just like if you needed to take any other medicine to keep yourself from being ill. Like having a cold,you take medicine to make you feel better, or to treat the symptoms that make you feel bad. Aspirin for fever, cough drops for a hacking cough, antacid for an upset stomach,methadone for heroin addiction, this pill or that for depression. The list goes on. Sure a clinic is a bit different ,I get that. But it is still a medicine that enables you to be a productive citizen in society. It ALLOWS you to HAVE a life. And your individual case is not like someone elses,like i have said,it is not a "one dose fits all" program..
The harm reduction comes in where you aren't using needles anymore,yours or anyone elses, you have stopped the unhealthy behavior,the illegal behavior and all that other cr*p that I know you know goes with it.
Well as ususal I'm being a blabbermouth but I got so excited to hear you finally decided to stop the detox I got carried away only intending to congraulate you and bolster your decision with a few good facts. YEA for you!!!!
I went to my clinic this am to pick up my 12 pack + 1 and had our K2R,keys 2 recovery meeting ,as well as turned in our 1st finished draft of our clinics first ever newsletter and had a talk with our clinic manager. He is one amazing man and our clinic is lucky to have him. Being kind of on the "other side of the fence" being apart of their patient advocate group I get to see a little more of the inter workings of this corporation. With 25 clinics they need all the help they can get from patient input. Pretty interesting to tell the head of the company about something they are doing wrong,from a patients view and have it seriously looked into. Not your old methadone clinic.
OK I promise I'll shut up now. Have a good night, and hopefully a restful sleep.
Granny
Yay for you Con! I hope the days get better and better. Granny has some good things to say...wishing you well...yes, it's 12:30am on my side....still not sleeping. Geesh, will that ever end?? Jax
There ya go * * *
Now maybe take it easy for a bit- - get back to a comfortable dose & when you ,re ready- for all the correct reasons, you can try it again.- - Maybe work toward an inpatient treatment for the first few weeks.
If you stay on a comfortable dose, it will give you time to try a find a different more successful way to try and taper ( if you even still want too)- -
seeYAonBroadway,
jack
Now maybe take it easy for a bit- - get back to a comfortable dose & when you ,re ready- for all the correct reasons, you can try it again.- - Maybe work toward an inpatient treatment for the first few weeks.
If you stay on a comfortable dose, it will give you time to try a find a different more successful way to try and taper ( if you even still want too)- -
seeYAonBroadway,
jack
Ah, this answered my question in another post to you Con.
So glad you finally got ahold of the doc and he realized his mistake. You do seem a bit calmer now, right?
I like what Jack says about inpatient..is that an option?
So glad you finally got ahold of the doc and he realized his mistake. You do seem a bit calmer now, right?
I like what Jack says about inpatient..is that an option?
Oh Con, I'm so glad Dr. D*ck finally came back. I really hope you can find another doc. You should not have to go through all of this. He has no right to judge you. Are you back from your working trip? How did that go?
I think Ive decided to go with the library thing. I figure I can always volunteer with animals. I had to really take a look at my personality. I dont know that I can emotionally handle hurt, sick or dying animals. I really just love them. I dont have to know an animal to have real feelings and I would be a mess. I also know I love libraries, ya know whats weird? I go to the library all the time. I am not afraid. I'm not jumpy. The library workers know my name and always seem happy to see me. I feel safe in that quiet place surrounded by books. I go there sometimes when my house is crazy...Even if they wont hire me, I will have a 2 year degree in library science. I'm sure I could get a job at a book store witch I would also love.
Well I have to go. I am so glad you are feeling better.
I think Ive decided to go with the library thing. I figure I can always volunteer with animals. I had to really take a look at my personality. I dont know that I can emotionally handle hurt, sick or dying animals. I really just love them. I dont have to know an animal to have real feelings and I would be a mess. I also know I love libraries, ya know whats weird? I go to the library all the time. I am not afraid. I'm not jumpy. The library workers know my name and always seem happy to see me. I feel safe in that quiet place surrounded by books. I go there sometimes when my house is crazy...Even if they wont hire me, I will have a 2 year degree in library science. I'm sure I could get a job at a book store witch I would also love.
Well I have to go. I am so glad you are feeling better.
Good Morning everyone....
You all made me smile...thanks for the kind words....ya...im feelin way way better....Granni...you and Jack need to come out here and start a advocacy group...lol...we need you !!...thank you though for making me feel better about the failure thing...i figure i can always try again if i ever feel the need...think i will just try to concentrate on stabilizing now ...learned a few things about myself...not necessarily nice things, but ...wth...
im still on the road right now...typing away this morning from my hotel room...i am REALLY glad im dosed because im out here alone back up towards my old stomping grounds....this could have been a disaster the way i was feeling...now its actually kind of fun...whohooo...kind of nice break...
Jess...my dream job has always been to work in a book store or a library...im sooo jealous you have library training...lol...in my opinion...its got to be one of the best jobs in the whole wide world...book worms unite !!!....i love animals too, but i don't think i would last a week in a vets place...i would end up adopting every animal that needed it...and probably cry every time i had to watch an operation...NOT a good vets assistant..LOL....
I didn't get time to read everyone's replies again and i probably left out stuff this morning...will get back again and read them again later...need to get my dosed butt to a working breakfast meeting this morning...who thinks of these things...ack...Working breakfast ?...lol...
thanks for all the good vibes and words everyone...you will never know how much they all mean to me...
con
You all made me smile...thanks for the kind words....ya...im feelin way way better....Granni...you and Jack need to come out here and start a advocacy group...lol...we need you !!...thank you though for making me feel better about the failure thing...i figure i can always try again if i ever feel the need...think i will just try to concentrate on stabilizing now ...learned a few things about myself...not necessarily nice things, but ...wth...
im still on the road right now...typing away this morning from my hotel room...i am REALLY glad im dosed because im out here alone back up towards my old stomping grounds....this could have been a disaster the way i was feeling...now its actually kind of fun...whohooo...kind of nice break...
Jess...my dream job has always been to work in a book store or a library...im sooo jealous you have library training...lol...in my opinion...its got to be one of the best jobs in the whole wide world...book worms unite !!!....i love animals too, but i don't think i would last a week in a vets place...i would end up adopting every animal that needed it...and probably cry every time i had to watch an operation...NOT a good vets assistant..LOL....
I didn't get time to read everyone's replies again and i probably left out stuff this morning...will get back again and read them again later...need to get my dosed butt to a working breakfast meeting this morning...who thinks of these things...ack...Working breakfast ?...lol...
thanks for all the good vibes and words everyone...you will never know how much they all mean to me...
con
Hi cON- -
I believe Granny and I are already on, or run an advocacy group from our respective kinics.
Being alble to help, and give mdone patients as yourself some information that you and the others might not be aware of is rewarding .
All we are basically saying is stick up for your right to be treated with respect, and at times Question authority** Just because your counselor sez so- or your pharmacist sez so- -doent make things a fact- Many are biased towards our goals in medical recovery- - foolishly thinking that all Mdone patients are just replacing addictions- -this couldnt ne more untrue
Mdone is a recovery tool> Heroin is a ..well .fill in the blank. So it is not about replacing a addiction to no-where with another addiction to no-where. Mdone has so many success stories, that if you scan the board you'll find many- - Does Heroin have any success stories???
Im sure Granny and I basically do the same things- - fight for patients rights, try to make the community aware that they are not harboring felons looking for drugs everyday, and keep the klinics from taking advantage of patients who really dont know any better, and end up getting screwed.- Amongst other issues involving fund raising, free rides, care in local jails,,,etc...
Some of these klinic policies have been stuck in place since the 70,s- -Hell, How can things change if everyone - including kinic,state,and federal policies dont mone foward into the 21st century
Anyway- -thanks for the compliment-
Now, get back on track- start with feeling good about yourself again- and stay away from the dope when you can- - -
love&respect
jack
I believe Granny and I are already on, or run an advocacy group from our respective kinics.
Being alble to help, and give mdone patients as yourself some information that you and the others might not be aware of is rewarding .
All we are basically saying is stick up for your right to be treated with respect, and at times Question authority** Just because your counselor sez so- or your pharmacist sez so- -doent make things a fact- Many are biased towards our goals in medical recovery- - foolishly thinking that all Mdone patients are just replacing addictions- -this couldnt ne more untrue
Mdone is a recovery tool> Heroin is a ..well .fill in the blank. So it is not about replacing a addiction to no-where with another addiction to no-where. Mdone has so many success stories, that if you scan the board you'll find many- - Does Heroin have any success stories???
Im sure Granny and I basically do the same things- - fight for patients rights, try to make the community aware that they are not harboring felons looking for drugs everyday, and keep the klinics from taking advantage of patients who really dont know any better, and end up getting screwed.- Amongst other issues involving fund raising, free rides, care in local jails,,,etc...
Some of these klinic policies have been stuck in place since the 70,s- -Hell, How can things change if everyone - including kinic,state,and federal policies dont mone foward into the 21st century
Anyway- -thanks for the compliment-
Now, get back on track- start with feeling good about yourself again- and stay away from the dope when you can- - -
love&respect
jack
Hi Con,
So glad for you, you find yourself another doc and kick that ones butt over here to South Africa.
I share all the heroin site stories with my son and he enjoys it so much and cant wait till he can one day get a computor to be able to share with you guys. Con he was freak out when he saw the dosage you are on. His doctor started him on 10ml for 1 day 20ml for 2 days and then it was 30ml everyday. And I agree with granny it makes my child"normal" so he caN STAY ON IT AS LONG AS ITS IS NEEDED EVEN IF IT IS FOREVER.
You need to do whats best for you doesnt matter if its the "norm" or not.
It is 16h00 in the afternoon here and I am now going home to enjoy my weekend. You must all have a lovely weekend we have spring here our winter has just past away.
So its lovely.
Priscilla
Aka Crazy P
So glad for you, you find yourself another doc and kick that ones butt over here to South Africa.
I share all the heroin site stories with my son and he enjoys it so much and cant wait till he can one day get a computor to be able to share with you guys. Con he was freak out when he saw the dosage you are on. His doctor started him on 10ml for 1 day 20ml for 2 days and then it was 30ml everyday. And I agree with granny it makes my child"normal" so he caN STAY ON IT AS LONG AS ITS IS NEEDED EVEN IF IT IS FOREVER.
You need to do whats best for you doesnt matter if its the "norm" or not.
It is 16h00 in the afternoon here and I am now going home to enjoy my weekend. You must all have a lovely weekend we have spring here our winter has just past away.
So its lovely.
Priscilla
Aka Crazy P
Con,
I'm so glad things are turning for you and you're starting to feel better, get some sanity back.
I'm always reading & rooting you on.
You're in my heart & prayers,
Stacey
I'm so glad things are turning for you and you're starting to feel better, get some sanity back.
I'm always reading & rooting you on.
You're in my heart & prayers,
Stacey
Yo there jackofhartzz,
Granny here.
Since you and I seem to be the only ones that have spoken up about our involvement in our clinics advocacy groups I want to throw something at you. we just finished putting together our clinics first ever newsletter. Everyone is real excited about it. I don't think corporate has even seen it. My question is, would I be out of line by asking if anyone that comes to post here on the heroin message board would like to tell their story of recovery,or relapse and recovery,words of wisdom,ect. and then allow me to print it to use in our newsletters? We have approx. 280 patients in our clinic and while we can figure out what to use for filling most of the pages I'm afraid we won't have enough good,uplifting stories to put in each month. Don't get me wrong,we need the down and out stories as well, but you get my point.
Considering how many addicts there are in this world, stories from far away places might help make people realize how far this disease goes.It stretches far and wide,to all people,to rich, to poor,in the U.S. and overseas, to all races. It doesn't descriminate.(My macaw is playing with my feet under the table!!Then he pukes in my shoes because he loves me so much)
Ok back to reality. The stories don't need to be very long,maybe 700 words or so and relatively clean worded. It can be done annonymously or with a first name and last name initial.
Listing a state or country would be fun as well,if they'd like.
I maybe could put the issue on the message board as well if someone from here submitted their story too. What do you think ?? I would want (need) their permission of course, when it is written. We are looking for submisions for our November issue,so theres' no time like the present.
So...What is the verdict Jack?? Am I totally out there or is this a cool idea??
Thank much, Granny
Hey Constantine, how goes it for you?? Hanging in there and feelin' all right? What is your take on what I'm asking Jack?? Anyone else care to add their 2 cents??
Granny here.
Since you and I seem to be the only ones that have spoken up about our involvement in our clinics advocacy groups I want to throw something at you. we just finished putting together our clinics first ever newsletter. Everyone is real excited about it. I don't think corporate has even seen it. My question is, would I be out of line by asking if anyone that comes to post here on the heroin message board would like to tell their story of recovery,or relapse and recovery,words of wisdom,ect. and then allow me to print it to use in our newsletters? We have approx. 280 patients in our clinic and while we can figure out what to use for filling most of the pages I'm afraid we won't have enough good,uplifting stories to put in each month. Don't get me wrong,we need the down and out stories as well, but you get my point.
Considering how many addicts there are in this world, stories from far away places might help make people realize how far this disease goes.It stretches far and wide,to all people,to rich, to poor,in the U.S. and overseas, to all races. It doesn't descriminate.(My macaw is playing with my feet under the table!!Then he pukes in my shoes because he loves me so much)
Ok back to reality. The stories don't need to be very long,maybe 700 words or so and relatively clean worded. It can be done annonymously or with a first name and last name initial.
Listing a state or country would be fun as well,if they'd like.
I maybe could put the issue on the message board as well if someone from here submitted their story too. What do you think ?? I would want (need) their permission of course, when it is written. We are looking for submisions for our November issue,so theres' no time like the present.
So...What is the verdict Jack?? Am I totally out there or is this a cool idea??
Thank much, Granny
Hey Constantine, how goes it for you?? Hanging in there and feelin' all right? What is your take on what I'm asking Jack?? Anyone else care to add their 2 cents??
Granny-
I think any idea that promotes positive thinking in or out of the mdone community is a good thing.
Im in my mid 50,s and have been on MMT for a LONG time- I wont go thru the whole story, but I will say if it wasnt for mdone therapy, my life would be much different (Im pretty sure I wouldnt still be here)
Im more involved with awareness right now. I am trying with the other advocates, to educate patients about thier basic rights. Also , we do much work to do in the community (east Harlem)- Mdone, and ridding the stigma that has been following patients for better than 35 yrs has made such little progress it makes me crazy.
We are organizing free rides(to name just one project) to and from the Klinic to those who are sick or disabled.
We are trying to change antiquated policies that have been around since the early days of MM.
Yes, I think any positive information, stories, or changes that might be up and coming is a good thing to get out there. However, many patients are spooked from yrs of being made to feel like failures, even after they have turned thier lives around and have become a contributing member of society.
You would be surprised (or maybe not) to know how many patients dont even know thier basic rights and what to do if they have an issue with the Klinic system- Many are afraid of bullying tactics and unfair repercussions if they speak up to question an unfair policy-
For instance>>- I posted the OASAS Patient Advocacy report in my Klinic and many patients were grateful just to know that someone had thier back in case a problem came up-
I really dont want to make this recovery board about Mdone- (Im sure you understand)- Im not sure how that would be received with the mods- -however, I admire your commitment to better the system- maybe we can exchange ideas thru the ol e-mail process
Id like to share some ideas, and would like to hear more about your plan-
If you like contact> tceffo07@yahoo.com We could speak more freely and not clog the board with our agenda,s-
We could always discuss different issues, and just post what is relevant to this site.
Thanks & continue to make a difference
with much respect,
jack
.
I think any idea that promotes positive thinking in or out of the mdone community is a good thing.
Im in my mid 50,s and have been on MMT for a LONG time- I wont go thru the whole story, but I will say if it wasnt for mdone therapy, my life would be much different (Im pretty sure I wouldnt still be here)
Im more involved with awareness right now. I am trying with the other advocates, to educate patients about thier basic rights. Also , we do much work to do in the community (east Harlem)- Mdone, and ridding the stigma that has been following patients for better than 35 yrs has made such little progress it makes me crazy.
We are organizing free rides(to name just one project) to and from the Klinic to those who are sick or disabled.
We are trying to change antiquated policies that have been around since the early days of MM.
Yes, I think any positive information, stories, or changes that might be up and coming is a good thing to get out there. However, many patients are spooked from yrs of being made to feel like failures, even after they have turned thier lives around and have become a contributing member of society.
You would be surprised (or maybe not) to know how many patients dont even know thier basic rights and what to do if they have an issue with the Klinic system- Many are afraid of bullying tactics and unfair repercussions if they speak up to question an unfair policy-
For instance>>- I posted the OASAS Patient Advocacy report in my Klinic and many patients were grateful just to know that someone had thier back in case a problem came up-
I really dont want to make this recovery board about Mdone- (Im sure you understand)- Im not sure how that would be received with the mods- -however, I admire your commitment to better the system- maybe we can exchange ideas thru the ol e-mail process
Id like to share some ideas, and would like to hear more about your plan-
If you like contact> tceffo07@yahoo.com We could speak more freely and not clog the board with our agenda,s-
We could always discuss different issues, and just post what is relevant to this site.
Thanks & continue to make a difference
with much respect,
jack
.
Everything Jack said is all you need...I know how awesome you know him to be and nobody knows this thing better than he does. I just wanted to pop on and offer my support and ((((hugs)))) to you, Con, since I haven't been here to do that. When I log on from work I don't usually have time to post, so I just read and I've been following you and knowing you are the very best of hands.
Take good care of you, lady...jog it like a marathon, don't sprint it like a dash.
Peace ~ M&M
Take good care of you, lady...jog it like a marathon, don't sprint it like a dash.
Peace ~ M&M
ive often wondered why there is a sub board but not a methadone one ...?...I , for one, would be very grateful to see it...
M&M...Thanks for popping in :)...Ive missed u...I know though how it is...im kind of on a tight time limit too these days..
....getting ready to travel on back to the Bavarian wilds now...so keeping it short...will pop back on when ive got some real time again to write...and to thank everyone properly
con
M&M...Thanks for popping in :)...Ive missed u...I know though how it is...im kind of on a tight time limit too these days..
....getting ready to travel on back to the Bavarian wilds now...so keeping it short...will pop back on when ive got some real time again to write...and to thank everyone properly
con
