My name is Nicole and I am 21 years old. I started using opiates when i was 16 years old, i started with oxycontin, percocet, any form of opiate really...I dated this guy the wholle time i was using, we sold other drugs to support our habbit and he had just gotten a settlement from his Uncle who passed away over $100,000, and thats when we turned to herion....we spend that all in about year on drugs. And then had another friend who made alot of money selling and we would just have to drive him to the spot everyday for 2-3 bundles...it got realy bad realy fast...i started using needles about the age of 18-19 right after having my son...I have a two year old son by the grace of god is happy and healthy. I was using about 2 plus bundles a day . My addiction progressed very fast and i was strightlineing anything and everything. My son was almost taken from my home two times and that didnt stop me. I was lucky to have been such a good manipulater to convince child protective that my track mark were old and i had stopped. I had tryed to stop on my own multiple times, it would last about a week and then i would relapse...i tryed it with suboxone program, and just ended up saving them for when i ran out of bag...that didnt work, i went to several detoxes before I finally brought myself to inpatient. I have 97 days now and I still struggle with thoughts and craving everyday. I have been in outpatient since i got out of inpatient on sept 23. I just got on suboxone about 2 weeks ago and it help me with the cravings...I left my ex when i went into treatment and im not going to lie it sucks and I wish i could show him how much better my life has gotten since i've been sober... I would like to hear some stories on early recovery and what you do to stay sober.
Yours Truly,
Nicole
Wow! Welcome to the board. The best thing I can tell your right now is don't worry about him worry about you and your son. I know how it feels to leave someone behind to get sober. 97 days is fantastic. Look how far you have come. The very best thing you can do is immerse yourself in recovery. Get a ton of support. Its not easy, but it is worth it. I'm sure you have heard it is easier to stay sober than to get sober.
Remember those days when you could quite get enough to get high and you were still sick and tired. Remember all the lows you hit that you promised yourself you would never do. Play the tape till the end. Using will always be the same. It will always end the same way too. Jails, institutions and death. These are all the things you probably learned in rehab. They are true. I made my way to this site many years ago. One of my very first posts you can Read Here. (In short I lost a good friend to addiction. )
I know where you are comming from and I know where you have been. Recovery is possible.
I am glad you made it to this site. Please stay with us. I would love to invite you over to the pain pill board. There are more people that post there regularly. So you can meet alot of new people and get a ton of support. Most of us have been addicted to many things, including heroin. So you don't have to worry if that wasn't your drug of choice. We all have the same thing in mind working on our recovery. Big hugs. Glad you made it through all that to where you are now. Keep comming back.
Remember those days when you could quite get enough to get high and you were still sick and tired. Remember all the lows you hit that you promised yourself you would never do. Play the tape till the end. Using will always be the same. It will always end the same way too. Jails, institutions and death. These are all the things you probably learned in rehab. They are true. I made my way to this site many years ago. One of my very first posts you can Read Here. (In short I lost a good friend to addiction. )
I know where you are comming from and I know where you have been. Recovery is possible.
I am glad you made it to this site. Please stay with us. I would love to invite you over to the pain pill board. There are more people that post there regularly. So you can meet alot of new people and get a ton of support. Most of us have been addicted to many things, including heroin. So you don't have to worry if that wasn't your drug of choice. We all have the same thing in mind working on our recovery. Big hugs. Glad you made it through all that to where you are now. Keep comming back.
Glad you found this site- - I am in my 50,s but I,ll never forget those early battles - - trying to get and stay clean. Sounds like you know what to do , you just have to remain focused and stay away from those "triggers" and get yourself a support system.
In my situation ( & please dont go by me) I was in a world of legal issues, had a monster habit, was in and out of the county jails so many times- - a judge actually recommended that I find a methadone clinic. This was before the sub drugs, which seem a bit more friendly, and for the most part dosent lead to long term use. You go to a doctor and avoid the clinic scene- which is my area has addicts hanging around ,and pretty much up to no good..(misery loves company).
Use your head, listen to people who have succeeded- -your young, no reason to make this a life long struggle- - (WELL ,addiction is a life long issue- -but no reason to be an active addict with the right support)
best regards
jack
In my situation ( & please dont go by me) I was in a world of legal issues, had a monster habit, was in and out of the county jails so many times- - a judge actually recommended that I find a methadone clinic. This was before the sub drugs, which seem a bit more friendly, and for the most part dosent lead to long term use. You go to a doctor and avoid the clinic scene- which is my area has addicts hanging around ,and pretty much up to no good..(misery loves company).
Use your head, listen to people who have succeeded- -your young, no reason to make this a life long struggle- - (WELL ,addiction is a life long issue- -but no reason to be an active addict with the right support)
best regards
jack
I agree with Jack. Deal with it now and don't let the struggle to stay clean drag you down.
I was newly clean from a heroin habit at age 21 also. However, you are light years ahead of where I was back then, if only because you have come to this board for answers.
I thought I was on top of the world. I was walking around thinking because I had gone through withdrawals, my problems were over.
They were... for a while.
Then, a few months ago I looked in the bathroom mirror and there stood a man with an insulin syringe in his hand, a terrified look on his face and blood dripping out of both arms after multiple failed attempts to find a useable vein.
I'm 56 now.
I'm just now figuring out where I went wrong and why and how to fix it.
Wish I would have fixed it at 21...
Mark
I was newly clean from a heroin habit at age 21 also. However, you are light years ahead of where I was back then, if only because you have come to this board for answers.
I thought I was on top of the world. I was walking around thinking because I had gone through withdrawals, my problems were over.
They were... for a while.
Then, a few months ago I looked in the bathroom mirror and there stood a man with an insulin syringe in his hand, a terrified look on his face and blood dripping out of both arms after multiple failed attempts to find a useable vein.
I'm 56 now.
I'm just now figuring out where I went wrong and why and how to fix it.
Wish I would have fixed it at 21...
Mark
Thank you everyone for your insite, I feel like the major problem in my life is gone but there seem likes theres this chaos that i've built up since i started using that i now am stuck in the middle of trying to make a little better. I am not going to say its easy, but getting sober was hard and staying that way for me is a constant battle. I am on a suboxone program and go to my outpatient and everything they teach there is helpful but there are stil things in life that theres no clinical help that will make me understand. I just am looking for some new friends that arnt associated with my everyday life that i can look to and wont judge me or run and tell the person i am talking about TY again much love<3
