For those consistent posters that feel the need to call me a liar
regarding my rock bottom and how many pills I did, and sdr, who says NO Dr. would prescribe that much....
I will be happy to fax a pharmacy record with my Drs name crossed off and the location of the pharmacy..it will show exactly what i stated to be true all along.
Its ridiculous that I have to do that at a pain pill addiction website, to fellow addicts,
But if it will settle the matter once and for all, I will fax it to whomever requests.
i only ask that when you see it..you apologize to me and others here for causing such controversy.
Why on EARTH would I lie over something like that?? For what??
Once this is verified, i hope that I can continue to be of help to others and myself
and be able to post, without the label "liar" hanging over my head....
Good Lord.....
Hugs to all who are working towards a better life.
Ali
If it helps Ali, I have a fax machine. Willing to help clear things up for ya.
Let me know email or whatever...
Ben
Let me know email or whatever...
Ben
Ali...i am sighing here....you don't have to prove anything to anyone...just keep coming back and learn to ignore some people
hugs sweetie
hugs sweetie
Hi Ali,
A couple of clever little bits that help me from time to time:
"What people think of me is none of my business", and the OLD stand-by:
TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE.
You don't need to prove yourself to anyone...
A couple of clever little bits that help me from time to time:
"What people think of me is none of my business", and the OLD stand-by:
TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE.
You don't need to prove yourself to anyone...
the more I read these posts the more hope I have for myself being here... I was worried that there were more negative people here just waiting to come out of the woodwork. I must say, I am impressed with all of you!
Ben,
Youve got mail
Hugs
Ali
Youve got mail
Hugs
Ali
Dear Bumps, hellcat and tired,
thankyou for the post. I agree with what you all say....BUT
its just SO easy to prove that Im not lying with a simple receipt.
Ben is indifferent and a well respected member of PA.
He can settle this once and for all, so I can continue here in good concience.
Hugs to all,
Ali
thankyou for the post. I agree with what you all say....BUT
its just SO easy to prove that Im not lying with a simple receipt.
Ben is indifferent and a well respected member of PA.
He can settle this once and for all, so I can continue here in good concience.
Hugs to all,
Ali
Hello ALi,
You don't have to fax anyone anything. In my opinion it's no one's business! Every one here tells their personal stories and what their going through at the time and people SHOULD (and should being the key word) listen and maybe reply (in a positive way) but no one should or has the right to tell someone they are lying. They don't know, I had a doctor that asked me what I wanted and how much of it. I thought he was joking or setting up a trap but he wasn't and believe me at the time I took advantage of it. I really believe even if you fax it to them they still won't believe you. My advice (even though you didnt ask and may not want to hear it) just ignore them and it will eventually stop (just like children). You are a great person and you are doing a great job believe that in your heart and let everyone say what they are going to say (theres no way of stopping it) as long as you are true to yourself it doesnt matter what anyone else has to say you dont have to prove anything to anyone but yourself.
ps: I totally agree with you Hellcat and Bumpsnomore!
Love ya,
April T.
You don't have to fax anyone anything. In my opinion it's no one's business! Every one here tells their personal stories and what their going through at the time and people SHOULD (and should being the key word) listen and maybe reply (in a positive way) but no one should or has the right to tell someone they are lying. They don't know, I had a doctor that asked me what I wanted and how much of it. I thought he was joking or setting up a trap but he wasn't and believe me at the time I took advantage of it. I really believe even if you fax it to them they still won't believe you. My advice (even though you didnt ask and may not want to hear it) just ignore them and it will eventually stop (just like children). You are a great person and you are doing a great job believe that in your heart and let everyone say what they are going to say (theres no way of stopping it) as long as you are true to yourself it doesnt matter what anyone else has to say you dont have to prove anything to anyone but yourself.
ps: I totally agree with you Hellcat and Bumpsnomore!
Love ya,
April T.
Ali,
Besides all the junk going on here, how are you doing? Are you completely done with your taper now? I hope you are doing okay. Please remember what a great source of support and encouragement you've been to many people here.
Shelly
Besides all the junk going on here, how are you doing? Are you completely done with your taper now? I hope you are doing okay. Please remember what a great source of support and encouragement you've been to many people here.
Shelly
April,
hey sweetie, thanks for the post.....
You and others are right i know...i wish i could be the bigger person here and just walk away...but my integrity has been brought into question for Gods sake..
I dont know why anyone would lie about hitting their bottom and how much that was.....this is the one place you think people would understand, know about tolerance.....
As i stated before, Ive had a specialist recently say your taking 20 a DAY??
On average?????/ You should be DEAD!!!!!!
Well im not and Im here....and its hardly something im proud of...
Sharing it here wasnt meant to be a suggestion to others, and the nurses are right in the danger of telling others your max, amount....but this subject has been beaten to death...
i just want to end it once and for all..and its pretty easy to do that.
If i dont reveal it...there will remain a question now as to my sincerity in ANYTHING I say.......thats what bothers me.
im here, Im sharing, Im trying to help others to get and stay off of pills, and myself as well....how cani do that with a scarlett letter on my chest??
Hugs to you sweet April
Ali
hey sweetie, thanks for the post.....
You and others are right i know...i wish i could be the bigger person here and just walk away...but my integrity has been brought into question for Gods sake..
I dont know why anyone would lie about hitting their bottom and how much that was.....this is the one place you think people would understand, know about tolerance.....
As i stated before, Ive had a specialist recently say your taking 20 a DAY??
On average?????/ You should be DEAD!!!!!!
Well im not and Im here....and its hardly something im proud of...
Sharing it here wasnt meant to be a suggestion to others, and the nurses are right in the danger of telling others your max, amount....but this subject has been beaten to death...
i just want to end it once and for all..and its pretty easy to do that.
If i dont reveal it...there will remain a question now as to my sincerity in ANYTHING I say.......thats what bothers me.
im here, Im sharing, Im trying to help others to get and stay off of pills, and myself as well....how cani do that with a scarlett letter on my chest??
Hugs to you sweet April
Ali
I am not sure what is going on, but In this world anything could be true. I don't think what you said is a lie if it is pertaining to how much you were using. Everybody is different. Just remember;
For every minute you are angry you loose 60 seconds of happiness...............
Pineknot
For every minute you are angry you loose 60 seconds of happiness...............
Pineknot
Pine knot,
thankyou...and you are right...will i ever be able to rise above things like this without feeling the need to PROVE my innocence......
I wish i could..i do...
and your right.....time is too precious...i know that..
Thankyou for your input...
Hugs
Ali
thankyou...and you are right...will i ever be able to rise above things like this without feeling the need to PROVE my innocence......
I wish i could..i do...
and your right.....time is too precious...i know that..
Thankyou for your input...
Hugs
Ali
You got mail back ali...
Ben
Ben
Ben
get the fax????
get the fax????
Ali,This is beyond ridiculous.Why do you feel the need for everyones approval?
It doesnt matter what you used,how much you used or when you used.
We now have someone who is doing 80 oxycontin a day.He/she must be making some damn good money because they are getting it off the street.Last time I checked it runs anywhere from..50-1.00 a mg.A 40 mg would be around 40.00 so if you are doing 80 of those thats 3200 a day.If you are doing the 80's that's 6400.00 a day.Im sure they are probably getting quanity discounts.
Whatever,you dont have to fax anything.I would sfely say you are in the addiction zone.
Also,you titled your thread "End of Subject."
Thats about as wrong as you can get.
Ali, I support you 100% to get clean.I would be lying to you if I said I totally buy your story.I dont, but thats not important and you dont have to prove anything.I reserve the right to do that.I think in the right place and would do anything to help you get clean.Maybe that is what we need to focus on instead of all this other peripheral bullsh*t.Talking about some ways you can start healing.What your plans are to stay clean once you have stopped.You seem to be tapering well and the closer you get to total abstinence,you are going to change your perspective on life and everything.
Dont put so much energy into these flame wars going on.Talk about you.
It doesnt matter what you used,how much you used or when you used.
We now have someone who is doing 80 oxycontin a day.He/she must be making some damn good money because they are getting it off the street.Last time I checked it runs anywhere from..50-1.00 a mg.A 40 mg would be around 40.00 so if you are doing 80 of those thats 3200 a day.If you are doing the 80's that's 6400.00 a day.Im sure they are probably getting quanity discounts.
Whatever,you dont have to fax anything.I would sfely say you are in the addiction zone.
Also,you titled your thread "End of Subject."
Thats about as wrong as you can get.
Ali, I support you 100% to get clean.I would be lying to you if I said I totally buy your story.I dont, but thats not important and you dont have to prove anything.I reserve the right to do that.I think in the right place and would do anything to help you get clean.Maybe that is what we need to focus on instead of all this other peripheral bullsh*t.Talking about some ways you can start healing.What your plans are to stay clean once you have stopped.You seem to be tapering well and the closer you get to total abstinence,you are going to change your perspective on life and everything.
Dont put so much energy into these flame wars going on.Talk about you.
Tim, I didnt think so either.. about her wanting to defend herself.. until I was dragged into it by someone I dont even know (as if I know any of you really)
I dont blame her for wanting to clear it up. this sweetdaddy person (yes I am using her name, why shouldnt we? I see people say "certain people" or certain posters" when it looks like one person is stirring the pot on every level.
I wont go away (but almost did) because sweet wanted to pretend that I was ali- gimme a frikkin break. I find it hard to believe that ali has time to post under multiple IDs. She looks pretty helpful in my opinion. So yes- I say let her prove herself - I was almost going to ask Ben if I could email him so he can compare the IP addresses... I asked for a mod to do it but got no response.
I have much to protect here.. I am not going to let some troll cohearse (sp) me into outting my personal information on a public message board. I have a family and a life, a job and people who love me. I hope we all have the things that I do. this would be hell for me without support. Am I bitchy right now? YEP! I feel like taking the last few pills I have and downing them. I WILL NOT though because I am HERE. If I hadnt found this board today, I would have been running arounf the house cleaning and playing with my kids...because I would have broken down and took these pills. There.!! That is what I have to be thankful for. I think if ali wants to clear her name, who is anyone to tell her not to? How would anyone here feel if they felt that they needed to do something like this- to prove themselves.. and then to have everyone tell them know. I see that you are all telling her not to bother out of love and trust... because you love and trust her.. so let her prove herself so she can feel better. After my special thread today, I know how she feels.
Sorry if this looks harsh. I am having a bad day, and I love it here.
I dont blame her for wanting to clear it up. this sweetdaddy person (yes I am using her name, why shouldnt we? I see people say "certain people" or certain posters" when it looks like one person is stirring the pot on every level.
I wont go away (but almost did) because sweet wanted to pretend that I was ali- gimme a frikkin break. I find it hard to believe that ali has time to post under multiple IDs. She looks pretty helpful in my opinion. So yes- I say let her prove herself - I was almost going to ask Ben if I could email him so he can compare the IP addresses... I asked for a mod to do it but got no response.
I have much to protect here.. I am not going to let some troll cohearse (sp) me into outting my personal information on a public message board. I have a family and a life, a job and people who love me. I hope we all have the things that I do. this would be hell for me without support. Am I bitchy right now? YEP! I feel like taking the last few pills I have and downing them. I WILL NOT though because I am HERE. If I hadnt found this board today, I would have been running arounf the house cleaning and playing with my kids...because I would have broken down and took these pills. There.!! That is what I have to be thankful for. I think if ali wants to clear her name, who is anyone to tell her not to? How would anyone here feel if they felt that they needed to do something like this- to prove themselves.. and then to have everyone tell them know. I see that you are all telling her not to bother out of love and trust... because you love and trust her.. so let her prove herself so she can feel better. After my special thread today, I know how she feels.
Sorry if this looks harsh. I am having a bad day, and I love it here.
Ali, If you really want it to end then just let it go and forget it .. It does not matter what others think at all.. If we worried what other thought then we would all be worried all the time because not everyone is going to believe you or anyone else.. all the time we all have our opinion.. and some feel the need to judge and feel the need to take someone elses inventory and to say something nasty about it, well to me that type feels that need because they do not feel that good about thierselves and they try to make other feel bad so they can boost thier own ego.. I am not saying that sometimes we don't say something that we dont realize at the time that may cause harm to someone that is new or just lurking to get info to get high but I feel everyone has given out info or said something without thinking that may have not have been said.. that should be addressed but whether you or lying or not is none of thier business you are the only one that knows for sure what is going on in your life, they are not there and they should keep thier noses out of it... I hope you find what you need to get better in the mean time do not worry whether they believe you are not you do not have to answer to them only to yourself...
heck at the end of my addiction i couldnt give anyone an exact figure amount of what i was using i just know it was lots and lots, and to this day i give different figures of geusstimations, so some could call me a liar but really its cause i dont know exactly i geussed i just kept popping like skittles and never counted, never clock watched. i just knew when i felt like i wanted another lil sumthin sumthin. if i had to geuss i would say i took approx 30 vicodines a day and approx same on somas and approx 9 1mg xanax. but dont hold me to that as the gossple.
terrianne
terrianne
Gem- with ALL the respect in the world... you started your post with:
"Ali, If you really want it to end then just let it go and forget it "
How can she if she has to read about it all the time ?? I have been here for less than a whole day. and I saw 3 locked threads on the topic.. and she didnt start any of them (from what I remember anyway). How can you overlook something if someone keeps pushing it? The first post I saw about ali, I will admit I wondered about her. No more. :) Please take this as it was intended... to point something out to you... your post was very loving. and I hope you offer me that same support that you have ali. Love, tired
"Ali, If you really want it to end then just let it go and forget it "
How can she if she has to read about it all the time ?? I have been here for less than a whole day. and I saw 3 locked threads on the topic.. and she didnt start any of them (from what I remember anyway). How can you overlook something if someone keeps pushing it? The first post I saw about ali, I will admit I wondered about her. No more. :) Please take this as it was intended... to point something out to you... your post was very loving. and I hope you offer me that same support that you have ali. Love, tired
Greetings, fellow harbinger of light and music...
If it helps any I believe you Ali. I have done far worse things, due to my mental illness. Suicidal attempts countless times and so forth. But enough about me, I hope you are doing well and trying not to use. There is a Taoist saying:"Ignore criticism and it means nothing." All the power is taken out of a judgmental person's sails when he/she does not get any response back. I hoped this helped somewhat. "What doesn't kill me, only makes me stronger."---Nieztche
My regards,
Blah
If it helps any I believe you Ali. I have done far worse things, due to my mental illness. Suicidal attempts countless times and so forth. But enough about me, I hope you are doing well and trying not to use. There is a Taoist saying:"Ignore criticism and it means nothing." All the power is taken out of a judgmental person's sails when he/she does not get any response back. I hoped this helped somewhat. "What doesn't kill me, only makes me stronger."---Nieztche
My regards,
Blah
