blah- that was nice...I like those quotes. :) Im looking forward to being in the place you are in - but SOON. I hope this is all good for ali now that she got it cleared up.
Tired...
Thanks, but I don't think you want to be in the same place I am in I have bipolar, ADD, and Chron's disease. Nice try, concentrate on who is most important in your life, which is yourself. Don't compare it only leads to self-loathing.
Humbly,
Blah
Thanks, but I don't think you want to be in the same place I am in I have bipolar, ADD, and Chron's disease. Nice try, concentrate on who is most important in your life, which is yourself. Don't compare it only leads to self-loathing.
Humbly,
Blah
lol thank you for the wake up call... the lol wasnt at you- it was at my thoughtlessness ( I was refering to your sound spirit actually- I am not feeling very sound today)
Well tired...
I believe I have the sound part completely off. Have a fantastic eve; I am going to paint for awhile. Chat with you soon. If you or Ali want to chat with me you could give me your e-mail addresses?
Humbly,
Blah
I believe I have the sound part completely off. Have a fantastic eve; I am going to paint for awhile. Chat with you soon. If you or Ali want to chat with me you could give me your e-mail addresses?
Humbly,
Blah
Tired of Pain-So even if it turns out to be a farce or the truth how in the world does that effect you?These are BB's and there are always trolls and fictious stories floating around and always will be.Its the nature of the beast.Dont let that be your giuding light.
Even if ive poured my heart and soul out to somone to help,only to find out later is was a hoax,it still helped me.Maybe some things I shared were things I needed to hear.
Ali,I would also be very reluctant to fax somone such personal info.You never know who this person may be..like you did not your Drs name.We dont need any new sources to put into our brain vaults.I may not remember if i fed my dog tonight but I can drive blindfolded to a Drs. office I only scored once at.I will rememeber the name of the drug,how many I got and the mgs.
I say lets listen to some of the RN's or doctors on here.They are only human too and although some may have nasty temperaments,I respect their education and they are more qualified to validate some of the medical jargon thrown around here.
Tired of Pain-Same advice for you.What can we do to make your w/d's better.Its perfectly natural to be bithchy during this time.Do you have some w/d meds that are helping.Share about that.Im not around 24-7 so I missd your intro.Are you on Clonodine or Librium?Watch some funny movies.That will distract you.
Even if ive poured my heart and soul out to somone to help,only to find out later is was a hoax,it still helped me.Maybe some things I shared were things I needed to hear.
Ali,I would also be very reluctant to fax somone such personal info.You never know who this person may be..like you did not your Drs name.We dont need any new sources to put into our brain vaults.I may not remember if i fed my dog tonight but I can drive blindfolded to a Drs. office I only scored once at.I will rememeber the name of the drug,how many I got and the mgs.
I say lets listen to some of the RN's or doctors on here.They are only human too and although some may have nasty temperaments,I respect their education and they are more qualified to validate some of the medical jargon thrown around here.
Tired of Pain-Same advice for you.What can we do to make your w/d's better.Its perfectly natural to be bithchy during this time.Do you have some w/d meds that are helping.Share about that.Im not around 24-7 so I missd your intro.Are you on Clonodine or Librium?Watch some funny movies.That will distract you.
Ali, I understand why you are willing to send a fax...but please don't bother. This will pass. I am sure controversey would follow the fax for some reason. Actually, controversey can follow a simple good morning around here sometimes. Keep posting and let it go. You need to focus on you right now. You and your recovery. I don't know what happened today, I just logged back on. I do know that the last thing I posted this morning was let this die. You are at a critical point in your recovery so forget this BS. I don't care if you are lying or not, and I am not implying that you are, just that I don't care either way. Everyone here is guilty of lying at some point. We are addicts, that's what we do or did. It is obvious that you need help and support for your addiction, and that is all I care about. Sign off for awhile if this is getting to you. Give your full attention to Ali, she needs it. Take care, Atlas
Tired, shell, blah, boo
Hope I didnt leave anyone out.
m sorrry but I just had to put an end to the question as to whether or not i could POSSIBLy getting such an Rx or have taken that.
It was just too easy to prove them wrong, and honestly felt like my integrity was at stake.
By Pains own admission, he came to the board as a newbie, WITHOUT having read any of my history or posts, and had DOUBTS about me BECAUSE of the thread started by sdr, stating he doesnt believe anything about me.
Anyway. whats done is done. i felt the need to defend myslef and did. Too many people are pointing fingers and accusing others here of things they cant possibly have any knowledge of.
From here on in I hope we can all take what each other says at face value.
This board has been my saving grace, I have learned from others, realized Im not all alone in my shame, and have been kept busy reading and posting through the worst (so far) of my withdrawals....
Since coming online, I have learned how much INTEGRITY most 12 steppers have, and how some just hide behind the program and think it gives them liscence to judge.
I look forward to tomorrow and getting on to recovery once more.
Hugs to all,
Ali
Hope I didnt leave anyone out.
m sorrry but I just had to put an end to the question as to whether or not i could POSSIBLy getting such an Rx or have taken that.
It was just too easy to prove them wrong, and honestly felt like my integrity was at stake.
By Pains own admission, he came to the board as a newbie, WITHOUT having read any of my history or posts, and had DOUBTS about me BECAUSE of the thread started by sdr, stating he doesnt believe anything about me.
Anyway. whats done is done. i felt the need to defend myslef and did. Too many people are pointing fingers and accusing others here of things they cant possibly have any knowledge of.
From here on in I hope we can all take what each other says at face value.
This board has been my saving grace, I have learned from others, realized Im not all alone in my shame, and have been kept busy reading and posting through the worst (so far) of my withdrawals....
Since coming online, I have learned how much INTEGRITY most 12 steppers have, and how some just hide behind the program and think it gives them liscence to judge.
I look forward to tomorrow and getting on to recovery once more.
Hugs to all,
Ali
blah- here is my email address that I just made for here....
hi_ok_email_me@yahoo.com
and Tim.. thank you... I dont know what Clonodine or Librium are- what are they? I only take norco and birth control pills.
edit to include- Tim... I have just decided today to taper off of these because I need to. I was freaking out cause I am low on pills, and got online to look into withdrawl remedies and found this site... my doctor knows I want to stop and he promised to help me wean off when I am done healing from surgery. I started a thread this AM that might help you see where I am.. its called new here or something. thank you
hi_ok_email_me@yahoo.com
and Tim.. thank you... I dont know what Clonodine or Librium are- what are they? I only take norco and birth control pills.
edit to include- Tim... I have just decided today to taper off of these because I need to. I was freaking out cause I am low on pills, and got online to look into withdrawl remedies and found this site... my doctor knows I want to stop and he promised to help me wean off when I am done healing from surgery. I started a thread this AM that might help you see where I am.. its called new here or something. thank you
Ali,
YGM
YGM
Well see there.The one ubiquitous fact is that we want to help,regardless of the logistics of eating that many of the stongest opiates which are right up there with maybe fentanyl and Sublimaze[same drug,and heroin is that we all want to help you get clean.
I do know the human body can develop unbelievable tolerance to narcotics,at some point they become deadly no matter how high your tolerance gets.My limit was about 500 mg. of oxycodone at once and I would nod off.Just fall down no matter where I was at.So after reading these post,I feel like a lightweight.
Its real embarrasing at the drive through at the bank and they have to come bang on your window to move it along as you are passed out on the sterring wheel.
If you have cut back to 4 and say f*ck it and take 30 or 40...you will be dead.I dont want that to happen so please,hang in there Ali.Inow Ive grown to love you and respect the remarkable taper.
You have a good spirit insdie of you and you will do this.
Your trusting freind and felow addt Tim..
BTW....Wiverson/Wendy has not been banned.She has asked to be banned from posting because of personal reasons which are quite valid.
Everory one have a pleasant evening.
You newcomers here/Peace
Also.Ali-I can be wrong too so dont let my inital doubts upset you.Your a remarkable person in my book regardless.I want to help you so much,put my arms around you and tell you that hope is around the corner.Thats not a sexual innuendo either,even though from the beginning I thought you were a beautiful woman.You also have a lot of self-esteem in defending yousef.Dont let these people attacking you with several years of sonbriety get you.They lost their compassion and the general great intentions of what the twelve steps really say.I think this board gives them a platform to be as hateful as they want.Ignore them.There are some people in the program that are the exact anttithesis of that,Plese check it out again.You will find them.That would be the perfect sponsor materail.I wished you lived in Houston,I would love to take to you to some smaller groups where that seems to be the rule rather than the exception..
I do know the human body can develop unbelievable tolerance to narcotics,at some point they become deadly no matter how high your tolerance gets.My limit was about 500 mg. of oxycodone at once and I would nod off.Just fall down no matter where I was at.So after reading these post,I feel like a lightweight.
Its real embarrasing at the drive through at the bank and they have to come bang on your window to move it along as you are passed out on the sterring wheel.
If you have cut back to 4 and say f*ck it and take 30 or 40...you will be dead.I dont want that to happen so please,hang in there Ali.Inow Ive grown to love you and respect the remarkable taper.
You have a good spirit insdie of you and you will do this.
Your trusting freind and felow addt Tim..
BTW....Wiverson/Wendy has not been banned.She has asked to be banned from posting because of personal reasons which are quite valid.
Everory one have a pleasant evening.
You newcomers here/Peace
Also.Ali-I can be wrong too so dont let my inital doubts upset you.Your a remarkable person in my book regardless.I want to help you so much,put my arms around you and tell you that hope is around the corner.Thats not a sexual innuendo either,even though from the beginning I thought you were a beautiful woman.You also have a lot of self-esteem in defending yousef.Dont let these people attacking you with several years of sonbriety get you.They lost their compassion and the general great intentions of what the twelve steps really say.I think this board gives them a platform to be as hateful as they want.Ignore them.There are some people in the program that are the exact anttithesis of that,Plese check it out again.You will find them.That would be the perfect sponsor materail.I wished you lived in Houston,I would love to take to you to some smaller groups where that seems to be the rule rather than the exception..
Ali...I'm a little afraid for you hon. Please don't send a fax to anyone. Not that I think anyone would hurt you from this board, you just don't know. Keep your personal info just that. Personal.
This too shall pass. Work on your recovery and keep asking for help. Personally, I don't care how much you take or what you take, I just care that you're asking for help and want to get clean. In the whole big scheme of things, that's all that matters right now. For me, the biggest hurdle I had was getting honest. When I got honest, I got clean. It happened in that order. So, stay true to yourself, tell the truth and reach out. I'll be here.
cowgirl
This too shall pass. Work on your recovery and keep asking for help. Personally, I don't care how much you take or what you take, I just care that you're asking for help and want to get clean. In the whole big scheme of things, that's all that matters right now. For me, the biggest hurdle I had was getting honest. When I got honest, I got clean. It happened in that order. So, stay true to yourself, tell the truth and reach out. I'll be here.
cowgirl
AMEN
personal info should not be shared by email
you do not know who some of these people are
there are addresses, DOB, phone numbers
i don't have much time right now, but i hope that you reconsider this
internet safety HAS to be kept in mind here
BTW ali how are the xmas cards coming///???
personal info should not be shared by email
you do not know who some of these people are
there are addresses, DOB, phone numbers
i don't have much time right now, but i hope that you reconsider this
internet safety HAS to be kept in mind here
BTW ali how are the xmas cards coming///???
Cowgirl
Too late...im so sorry, I know I took a chance, but i did blackout my Drs name and id#s etc...
I wish I had it in me to just walk away.
Too prove them wrong was just too easy.
I apologize to everyone.
Im not the bigger person.
I have a lot to learn.
Thankyou for that post Cowgirl.
It had such integrity..and it was great advise.
im sorry i didnt listen ( read yours only now....)
Big huge hug,
Ali
Too late...im so sorry, I know I took a chance, but i did blackout my Drs name and id#s etc...
I wish I had it in me to just walk away.
Too prove them wrong was just too easy.
I apologize to everyone.
Im not the bigger person.
I have a lot to learn.
Thankyou for that post Cowgirl.
It had such integrity..and it was great advise.
im sorry i didnt listen ( read yours only now....)
Big huge hug,
Ali
Ali,
I got your fax. Sorry I had to go to a meeting. I find that when I begin to judge others, point fingers and act as if I know all, I need to go to a meeting. I usually go to 4-6 meetings a week. This week is no different. All those meetings and you this ia what ya get. "No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles." Thats the truth. As I mentioned to you on the phone, just because we are in 12 step programs we are not perfect. The failing of how one works a program is directly proportionate to there ability to be constitutionally honest with themselves. We all do the best we can and some that is just not very well.
As was said, this whole board in general is a ship with no rudder. Its quite a tragedy as this board is memory of an addict that died suffering the horrors of addiction. It does however go without saying that this site alone has more than likley saved at least one life. That is a good legacy.
I did get your fax and from what I see, you can hold your head high with dignity and comfort in knowing what you have done and in the past in your heart to be true. That is ALL that matters. It just goes to show you how serious addiction is. When someone who works in the medical field says "no way" as was said to me. I had that experience when I went to my doctor while I was detoxing for what I hope was the last time. I was told "You must have been so high you couldnt count. There is NO WAY your body could survive 30 Vicodin a day." Whats worse is, I was minimizing because of my embarasment.
Hold your head high, I will send you some links of other site to expand your recovery options. I still stand by my feeling that YES ALI, you are an addict and you always will be. When you say you dont take to that principle it scares the chit out of me. That mindset could kill you.
I got your fax. Sorry I had to go to a meeting. I find that when I begin to judge others, point fingers and act as if I know all, I need to go to a meeting. I usually go to 4-6 meetings a week. This week is no different. All those meetings and you this ia what ya get. "No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles." Thats the truth. As I mentioned to you on the phone, just because we are in 12 step programs we are not perfect. The failing of how one works a program is directly proportionate to there ability to be constitutionally honest with themselves. We all do the best we can and some that is just not very well.
As was said, this whole board in general is a ship with no rudder. Its quite a tragedy as this board is memory of an addict that died suffering the horrors of addiction. It does however go without saying that this site alone has more than likley saved at least one life. That is a good legacy.
I did get your fax and from what I see, you can hold your head high with dignity and comfort in knowing what you have done and in the past in your heart to be true. That is ALL that matters. It just goes to show you how serious addiction is. When someone who works in the medical field says "no way" as was said to me. I had that experience when I went to my doctor while I was detoxing for what I hope was the last time. I was told "You must have been so high you couldnt count. There is NO WAY your body could survive 30 Vicodin a day." Whats worse is, I was minimizing because of my embarasment.
Hold your head high, I will send you some links of other site to expand your recovery options. I still stand by my feeling that YES ALI, you are an addict and you always will be. When you say you dont take to that principle it scares the chit out of me. That mindset could kill you.
And its true, what if you faxed that to a NUTCASE! You are lucky I think Im stable and not a nut. But then again, what nut does? I think you know from the other board that people have a certain level of trust in who I am.
Ben
Ben
Dear Tim,
thankyou so much for your post..
Im actually at 4.and one half....and will cut one more down on Thursday..if thats too much will only cut back by half.
The true gift from God..other than my lack of REALLY BAD withdrawals ( like you see in movies...) is the change in my attitude......
i really cant tell you how different I am now thinking...and you know what? you are so right about the fact that if I NOW, relapsed and went back to what i once took in one day.....I would probably have a massive coronary.....
I really need to share with everybody that if you have tried to taper before but havent been able to...theres still hope.
i could never have done it before...honestly..no way... no how...
I know Ive told this story but for new comers sake please bare with me..
My friend Jody had started narcotics for Crones(sp?) disease, a painful condition...she finally had a whole bunch of her intestines removed and she got better...but she continued her narcotic..
She used to come over and have tea with me, wed pop a pill and watch oprah...one day she tells me shes going to stop taking them...i think..right...
She had recently met a new guy and was falling in love. Her future looked bright..he was inviting her to come with him to Europe.
She started her taper...Shed been on them for years...She stuck to the taper, would come over and say "You can if you want, but Im not doing any..."
I panicked..How come she could do this...i couldnt....no way...but she did...she
tapered right down....and didnt think twice about it..like it was the most natural thing in the world.....
When i asked HOW she offered to write the taper down...she DID write it down...take X this week, next week take Y...I was shocked and felt like oh-oh im in big trouble here....i cant do that...IM a-d-d-i-c-t-e-d!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This time around....I GOT it.....taking them even ONE more day at those amounts was just one day too many...and when i realized id done the 1st day...and nothing TERRIBLE happened...even at that drop..i did the 2nd day
i kept myself busy posting here....felt less alone just reading others stories...told others theyd be okay...they could do this...and started believing it myself....
And yup..I have so far been good and stuck to the taper.
Miracles do happen. people can change.
im not at the finish line yet...but im going to make it.
I hope that anyone else that thinks they cant, will know that if you are really really ready...it can be done.....
thankyou for your post Tim, and for having some faith in me.
i wont let you down.
Big Hugs,
Ali
thankyou so much for your post..
Im actually at 4.and one half....and will cut one more down on Thursday..if thats too much will only cut back by half.
The true gift from God..other than my lack of REALLY BAD withdrawals ( like you see in movies...) is the change in my attitude......
i really cant tell you how different I am now thinking...and you know what? you are so right about the fact that if I NOW, relapsed and went back to what i once took in one day.....I would probably have a massive coronary.....
I really need to share with everybody that if you have tried to taper before but havent been able to...theres still hope.
i could never have done it before...honestly..no way... no how...
I know Ive told this story but for new comers sake please bare with me..
My friend Jody had started narcotics for Crones(sp?) disease, a painful condition...she finally had a whole bunch of her intestines removed and she got better...but she continued her narcotic..
She used to come over and have tea with me, wed pop a pill and watch oprah...one day she tells me shes going to stop taking them...i think..right...
She had recently met a new guy and was falling in love. Her future looked bright..he was inviting her to come with him to Europe.
She started her taper...Shed been on them for years...She stuck to the taper, would come over and say "You can if you want, but Im not doing any..."
I panicked..How come she could do this...i couldnt....no way...but she did...she
tapered right down....and didnt think twice about it..like it was the most natural thing in the world.....
When i asked HOW she offered to write the taper down...she DID write it down...take X this week, next week take Y...I was shocked and felt like oh-oh im in big trouble here....i cant do that...IM a-d-d-i-c-t-e-d!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This time around....I GOT it.....taking them even ONE more day at those amounts was just one day too many...and when i realized id done the 1st day...and nothing TERRIBLE happened...even at that drop..i did the 2nd day
i kept myself busy posting here....felt less alone just reading others stories...told others theyd be okay...they could do this...and started believing it myself....
And yup..I have so far been good and stuck to the taper.
Miracles do happen. people can change.
im not at the finish line yet...but im going to make it.
I hope that anyone else that thinks they cant, will know that if you are really really ready...it can be done.....
thankyou for your post Tim, and for having some faith in me.
i wont let you down.
Big Hugs,
Ali
Ben
you have honor AND dignity...and your right...I would not have entrusted you with that info...had i not known what respect they have for you at the PA board..
You work hard at your program, at sobriety and the steps. We dont have to see eye to eye on it all..it doesnt matter.
We both want the same thing...to live life AND to enjoy life whole heartedly...every single minute, without having to alter our minds and our bodies to do so.
Im so proud of you I could kiss you!
Pucker up!
Hugs
Ali
you have honor AND dignity...and your right...I would not have entrusted you with that info...had i not known what respect they have for you at the PA board..
You work hard at your program, at sobriety and the steps. We dont have to see eye to eye on it all..it doesnt matter.
We both want the same thing...to live life AND to enjoy life whole heartedly...every single minute, without having to alter our minds and our bodies to do so.
Im so proud of you I could kiss you!
Pucker up!
Hugs
Ali
P.S.
And YES BEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A good reminder as to why this board was erected......
In memory of a young man whom DIED from his addiction.
That should be posted somewhere for all posters to see when they
first log in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hugs to all
Ali
And YES BEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A good reminder as to why this board was erected......
In memory of a young man whom DIED from his addiction.
That should be posted somewhere for all posters to see when they
first log in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hugs to all
Ali
