I had been with my addict for almost 12 years since we where 14. He had been using for three years of which I stood by his side being supportive and trying to get
Him help through awful time. I've always gone above and beyond for him. I'm very successful and a good gf to him. Just to explain I wasn't an awful person. But he went to rehab in April and called me whenever he could he knew he'd
Messed up for sol long but could tell he was fighting to keep
Me now that he was sober . He started in a halfway house
And relapsed I will admit is had enough. I did become more
Distant with call them in jut things got good
Again he talked about coming home making his amends and tenn living with me at some point in the house is originally bought for both of us . He was flirty fun telling me
He missed me. He was working the steps and all. Then on the 23 of July he stopped talking to
Me for two days he then finally answered his phone and said he
No longer wanted to be in a relationship I was devistated .. But then a few days went by and we began to talk again he was coming home for court aug 9 but made it clear we had to talk. Firs time I was him he was fun flirty kissing me telling me how good I looked . Then found out he likes some new girl but says that has nothing to do with us ending our relationship. He has decided to say in Florida and no longer wants to come home. He is only two months clean making irrational decisions. Telling me he still loves me and always will but doesn't want it anymore . Isn't it soon into recovery for ending a 12 year relationship you wanted three weeks ago! And he worked all 12 steps in 2 months ..
To my knowledge but not experience, because I never done the 12 step, I hear ppl do take longer then two months. I never been sober in my 5 years of being a H addict but I also hear a person's sponsor or just in general they say, "in the first year of being sober to not be in any relationship because it interferes with a person's sobriety". I guess because of the emotional rollercoaster ride that has its down falls that can cause a person to use. Also, I guess it's not impossible to finish the 12 steps in two months. Sorry I'm not more help.
Dear allysa:
"two months clean and making irrational decisions".
This is what I would say. The first 1-3 months of recovery is sometimes called a "pink cloud" marked by overconfidence, enjoying the feeling of being normal and clear, and a notion of "I have this thing licked". That is why the 1 year mark is so significant in recovery, as you have to transition from early recovery to long-term.
There are many criticisms of the 12-step program. Most of them are red-herrings. However, one valid problem is something called "13th stepping" as romances are very, very common. These meetings are filled with lonely, vulnerable people. This is why I recommend that men stick to men's meetings and women to women's meetings - especially in early recovery.
"two months clean and making irrational decisions".
This is what I would say. The first 1-3 months of recovery is sometimes called a "pink cloud" marked by overconfidence, enjoying the feeling of being normal and clear, and a notion of "I have this thing licked". That is why the 1 year mark is so significant in recovery, as you have to transition from early recovery to long-term.
There are many criticisms of the 12-step program. Most of them are red-herrings. However, one valid problem is something called "13th stepping" as romances are very, very common. These meetings are filled with lonely, vulnerable people. This is why I recommend that men stick to men's meetings and women to women's meetings - especially in early recovery.
