got my bfriend moaning cuz im on here so ive got to go i just feel like he dont undrestand at all selfish men hey well if i make him see how important it is to talk to people who have been there maybe he will ill just go back to that s*** and then he will wish he never moaned bye all
His reaction is normal..... I think many of us have gone through this. When I was first getting clean, I would post on here for HOURS and my husband would end up feeling left out, rejected..... He thought I cared more about being on here than I did with being with him....
And that wasn't true..... It's just that I really needed to talk to people that UNDERSTOOD what I was going through.
Reassure your boyfriend that this is all it is..... You're at a difficult point in your life and it helps you when you talk to other people going through the same thing.
Danni
And that wasn't true..... It's just that I really needed to talk to people that UNDERSTOOD what I was going through.
Reassure your boyfriend that this is all it is..... You're at a difficult point in your life and it helps you when you talk to other people going through the same thing.
Danni
cozza,
dont feel guilty bout feeling good about spending time here. this is a selfish program. you are doing something good/healthy for yourself. hopefully that will soon shine through and reflect on your boyfreind. he will hopefully see the great changes in you and he will enjoy them as well. you just keep on keeping on and remain happy in your recovery : )
terrianne
dont feel guilty bout feeling good about spending time here. this is a selfish program. you are doing something good/healthy for yourself. hopefully that will soon shine through and reflect on your boyfreind. he will hopefully see the great changes in you and he will enjoy them as well. you just keep on keeping on and remain happy in your recovery : )
terrianne
Cozza.....hey! does your boyfriend use? Is that the s*** you were referring to?
Recovery has to be selfish........maybe if he would educate about what you are going through he would understand better. Many spouses don't do that, so don't feel bad.
Recovery has to be selfish........maybe if he would educate about what you are going through he would understand better. Many spouses don't do that, so don't feel bad.
Cossa I like your posts But I I Think you have a hate of men that might be your real problem, I dont mean no harm but we all have a road that lead us to addiction Roger
roger i dont hate men i swear i just cant seem to find one that isnt a paranoid imature idiot ive just wanted to come on here now and asked if would mind going away as i didnt want him to read it and well lets just say he is huffing and puffing and making a joint of cannabis No he dont do any other drugs just cannabis. But he really can be imature it all dont matter now cuz he is packing his stuff and leaving maybe its for the best he isnt working we spend every day together and he dont understand at all i just think i should do this on my own then worry about meeting someone after i have learnt to love myself they do say how can you expect someone to love you if you cant love yourself? and im beginning to think its true I just feel i cant have nothing to myself he makes me feel like i have to tell him everything and if i dont this is what happens a big aurgument and he leaves whats all that about then? I WAS WITH MY HUSBAND FOR 8 YEARS BEFORE I MET THIS ONE AND THE END WAS HELL oops sorry capitals, anyway he was really paranoid too and i got 100 questions if i went out that and the drugs was 1 of the reasons we split up when i met this one i was just moving into my own house after being in the womans refuge for 5 months and it was all good but now like i said i cant breath. Why has he got in a mood jusy becuz i dont want him to read this post he has read all mt others I think its best i just let him go now and do this alone 1 less stress whilst im doing this Well better go help him pack will be back later for as long as i like without being told when and what im allowed to say
ROGER I WISH I DID HATE MEN then i wudnt keep getting hurt by them maybe you ahve just given me the answer i needed to hate men lol x x x
ROGER I WISH I DID HATE MEN then i wudnt keep getting hurt by them maybe you ahve just given me the answer i needed to hate men lol x x x
Goodmorning Cozza,
I think you've answered your own question there ya know!!! you need to learn to love yourself before you can love anybody else!!
I started in a relationship early on in my recovery(with someone who had never used) it lasted about 2yrs, but then i realised I don't even know who I am so how can I fully commit to someone when i dont even know myself. So I finished it, but I am still really good friends with him. In my opinion, we need to get our selves sorted first, (like someone said above, recovery can be selfish) once thats done, then we can worry about boyfriends, so in my opinion, until you've gotten yourself sorted out how on earth can you give to anyone else.
Something to think about at least hey Cozza x
You know I wish you only the best x
love
Gabs
I think you've answered your own question there ya know!!! you need to learn to love yourself before you can love anybody else!!
I started in a relationship early on in my recovery(with someone who had never used) it lasted about 2yrs, but then i realised I don't even know who I am so how can I fully commit to someone when i dont even know myself. So I finished it, but I am still really good friends with him. In my opinion, we need to get our selves sorted first, (like someone said above, recovery can be selfish) once thats done, then we can worry about boyfriends, so in my opinion, until you've gotten yourself sorted out how on earth can you give to anyone else.
Something to think about at least hey Cozza x
You know I wish you only the best x
love
Gabs
Thanks Gabbi its true he is still here at the moment and i think all i am to him is a challenge he says he dont want to give up but im not a project for f***s sake sorry about thebad language but im pretty peed off at the mo got enough on my mind without dealing with relationship problems too i am just all over the place at the mo and dont know what to do for the best i cont even know how i feel about anything all iknow is i dont want this and i want it all to just go away I ahve spent time on my own and that was when i was happiest i keep saying this to myself but dont do nothing about it or when i do he wont go anyway I think i do love him but just havent got the energy to make this work he is younger than me with no kids and i cant help feeling it would be for the best if let him go he shouldnt be doing this and he could be out there enjoying life not stuck here with me and my moody ways and all this s*** im going through He is still sulking cuz im on here somedays i really wish i never met him then other days im glad i did cuz i know he cares but like i said is it cuz im a challenge for him? he has posted a thread on families posts read it and tell me what you think im sorry to go on mate just moaning which im becoming an expert at latley
And roger huh cheek im a man hater i wish i was i swear my life would ahve been a bed of roses without men in it Id have never had to go through loosing my house my family and all my friend s not to mention being stuck in a womans refuge last year In away it was worth it it got me off herion but then i would never have tried that s*** if my husband didnt bring into my life not that he held a gun to my head but we all know that saying if you cant beat them join them!!! and curiosity killed the cat Anyway Gabbi thanks i really do appreciate what you say and listen to you so what are up to today any plans? I think i mite pop to the beach with my dog and try and clear my head take care x x x
And roger huh cheek im a man hater i wish i was i swear my life would ahve been a bed of roses without men in it Id have never had to go through loosing my house my family and all my friend s not to mention being stuck in a womans refuge last year In away it was worth it it got me off herion but then i would never have tried that s*** if my husband didnt bring into my life not that he held a gun to my head but we all know that saying if you cant beat them join them!!! and curiosity killed the cat Anyway Gabbi thanks i really do appreciate what you say and listen to you so what are up to today any plans? I think i mite pop to the beach with my dog and try and clear my head take care x x x
Hey Cozza,
I really do know where your coming from. I am still all over the place, but things have got so much better since i left the relationship i was in, not because my X is a bad person or owt like that, but because I was that all over the place, l felt I was just being unfair to him x
Think about it Cozza, tell him you don't know what you want and arent going to until you are off everything, your mind will be all over (as is mine) and it's hard enough just dealing with yourself nevermind a partner that needs all you help and support too, you do need to be selfish about your recovery and put it above all else, tell him when you are clean you could always reasses the relationship, but for the time being you need to be on your own (thats what I told my X and he was upset but surprizingly understanding, and like I say we are the best of friends now)
I will go and read what he posted on the family and friends board x
Have a great time at the beach (boy are you lucky, I live about 3miles from Manchester city center so no beaches here) so you enjoy x
love
Gabbs
I really do know where your coming from. I am still all over the place, but things have got so much better since i left the relationship i was in, not because my X is a bad person or owt like that, but because I was that all over the place, l felt I was just being unfair to him x
Think about it Cozza, tell him you don't know what you want and arent going to until you are off everything, your mind will be all over (as is mine) and it's hard enough just dealing with yourself nevermind a partner that needs all you help and support too, you do need to be selfish about your recovery and put it above all else, tell him when you are clean you could always reasses the relationship, but for the time being you need to be on your own (thats what I told my X and he was upset but surprizingly understanding, and like I say we are the best of friends now)
I will go and read what he posted on the family and friends board x
Have a great time at the beach (boy are you lucky, I live about 3miles from Manchester city center so no beaches here) so you enjoy x
love
Gabbs
morning cozza
you sound pissed off today hun,dont let it get to you its not worth the hassle you dont need to be stressed out as it makes the demends come out and sit on that shoulder of yours!,come back later and have a chat ok i will be on later as i gotta pop out shortly,have a good day xxx xxx
you sound pissed off today hun,dont let it get to you its not worth the hassle you dont need to be stressed out as it makes the demends come out and sit on that shoulder of yours!,come back later and have a chat ok i will be on later as i gotta pop out shortly,have a good day xxx xxx
Hi Cozza....boy does your boyfriend sound exactly like my husband. All he does is run away, one wrong word from my little mouth, or me picking a fight and BOOM he is packing his crap and moving out on me and my 4 kids. I think our situations are a little different, but it was relieving for me to hear that i am not the only one going thru this w/ a significant other. My hubby doesn't understand a whole lot about addiction. He never did rehab, but did get thru a nasty booze and coke addiction while in prison, many years ago. You would think he would be able to relate, but he has never attended an AA or NA meeting, and consider them cults. That is usually how our fights start, or they used to anyway. I have a hard time putting myself first. I put the kids, then the hubby and anyone else that might come along first....not me....i know this is wrong, but i can barely get a shower in , in a day. The kids drive me crazy and his moving out just adds to my craziness. I also agree with loving ourselves. It is the hardest thing for me to do, but yet should be the simplest. I have put my husband thru so, so much, gosh i don't even think he knows the "real me", i don't even know the real me anymore. Well this morning i am hitting a meeting, things have been too shakey on the home-front and i need to feel that relief that meetings give me. I often wonder if my husband is even my soul-mate, or if my real soul-mate is out there wandering around somewhere. Time will tell, i guess.
Well hang in there, girl. I just wanted to let you know, i am going thru the same crap, but he leaves me at least once a week to go to a hotel and do God knows what.....while i am stuck here with no money and all the kids....real nice, huh?
Well post back when you get a chance, we seem to have a lot in common, but you are smarter than i, you aren't married LOL
luv,
nomorepillz
Well hang in there, girl. I just wanted to let you know, i am going thru the same crap, but he leaves me at least once a week to go to a hotel and do God knows what.....while i am stuck here with no money and all the kids....real nice, huh?
Well post back when you get a chance, we seem to have a lot in common, but you are smarter than i, you aren't married LOL
luv,
nomorepillz
I just wanted to say good morning cozza.When I first came here my BF was a real jerk at times too.Somehow I think he felt threatened by this board but after awhile he saw that I was really trying to get the help I needec & he chilled...mj
hi gabbi well i went down the beach it was a nice day came back and took my frustration out on my garden (mowed the grass)it was all i cud b arsed to do did you read that family post? We got over the row like we normally do brushed it under the carpet and just didnt talk 4 a while lol
nomo i can defiantly relate to you i have 3 kids and always running round like a blue arse fly after them I have just rung my mates up in birmingham(herion addicts)and he was sniffing just got in and said i got ot go bab i need a smoke charming i ent spoke to him 4 ages but hey herion comes first so i undrestand a bit, sad though. Anyway molly and frankyf im feeling beta now and stronger today has been easier physically dont know about mentally though never is easy Its typical just as it gets easy its time to cut down again and here we go again I dont know why i rung my old mates then it wasnt a wise thing to do really i supose but its done now god id love a smoke but then i know where it leads and i dont want to go back there so its tough s*** will just have to go to sleep and dream of far away places I am sorry for being a moody cow earlier but that was pauls fault lol men hey joke its always easier to blame others part of being an addict bla bla
Well going to post this now thankyou all for being there for me i hope i can return it to you all too x x x
nomo i can defiantly relate to you i have 3 kids and always running round like a blue arse fly after them I have just rung my mates up in birmingham(herion addicts)and he was sniffing just got in and said i got ot go bab i need a smoke charming i ent spoke to him 4 ages but hey herion comes first so i undrestand a bit, sad though. Anyway molly and frankyf im feeling beta now and stronger today has been easier physically dont know about mentally though never is easy Its typical just as it gets easy its time to cut down again and here we go again I dont know why i rung my old mates then it wasnt a wise thing to do really i supose but its done now god id love a smoke but then i know where it leads and i dont want to go back there so its tough s*** will just have to go to sleep and dream of far away places I am sorry for being a moody cow earlier but that was pauls fault lol men hey joke its always easier to blame others part of being an addict bla bla
Well going to post this now thankyou all for being there for me i hope i can return it to you all too x x x
