Sending out warm wishes to Father's out there today.
Specially came to wish Jack a Happy Father's Day and in case any of our older dad's who used to post happen by. Most across the pond who don't share our parent holidays at the same time, but love all the same. Eckie D, never forget Robbie, and our dear Davey. All fabulous father's through their own personal struggle. Many I am forgetting names right now.
Jack, thinking of you. Sending out positive vibes. That pain s**t s*cks. I am so sorry.
Happy Father's Day.
Brynn-
Holy Canoli- -
I haven't heard from you in many months!!- Not since I left NJ -& started anew in CT about 9 months ago- ....this is becoming another story..I think we might be on our way back to NJ or to where most of J,s family is- - in Da Bronx- - well see, that's a different post for a different time
- Thanks for the "Happy Fathers Day"- -me and my son-(who is now 26 yrs old & in his 40something day of his 90/90 in AA) went fishing for about 6 hours -6 am to noon-
You would think that 6 hours of fishing would be long enuff >> apparently these fish must start biting at 1- -because we caught 3 fish in those 6 hours. I guess the whole idea was to have a nice father/son day, so it was pretty cool. This has become a tradition now, I think since he,s been a little kid we went fishing on fathers day. Well, not every yr, but definitely a lot of years, and definitely the last 4 or 5 in a row... Kinda nice. I think the fish have us figured out though -
Dont know if I mentioned the news here- but about 3 weeks ago , his mother(my wife) passed away- -Even though I hadnt seen her in about 10 yrs it was very sad. A real shame. His mom and I got on the mdone program together in the mid 80,s - Jr was born in 86. We separated in the early 90,s She eventually stopped using dope and got off of methadone by 2000. Unfortunately, she started drinking alcohol and never stopped. So sadley ,at 55 yrs old she died from liver failure due to alcoholism
Well, I didn't mean to go from a happy fathers day story to a sad story of addiction and death- but my life has been lived on a fine line of good and bad.
The kid ,like most kids, never wanted to see his mom in a bad light. So when it finally happened, (it was comin for yrs) he was forced to confront feelings that he was probably burying for years.- Me?? Like I said we had no relationship at all, but at one time we must have ,,right??- -I really felt for her sisters and her boyfriend,,who were trying to help her for many yrs..I think the last few they just resigned themselves to the inevitable
OK-- my journey with pain mangt, and being off the klinic? Its been a roller coaster. I really wanted to do this before I died, ,but right now Im leaning to getting back on. At least until they do the back surgery. Then maybe do it right and come down little by little. I absolutely came off way too fast. I dont know what I was thinking because I knew better.
As it is I take 30 mgs a day . I go to a doctor,and get a script for the month, I gotta tell ya, its a whole different life than the one who have to live when your on a klinic, No lines, no leaving samples, no bullsjit social workers who are just getting a check and really dont give a ship. I wish that the stigma that has been with mdone since..forever..would just end. Until that happens it will never be effective as a pain mgt drug. Doctors are afraid to prescribe doses that they know would be effective because of the way the drug and the klinic system are perceived by society
OKKK- -gotta go = =Glad to see ya around Brynn baby***
and to all the rest of youse Ive seen on and off since 2005- - -see ya soon
jack
Holy Canoli- -
I haven't heard from you in many months!!- Not since I left NJ -& started anew in CT about 9 months ago- ....this is becoming another story..I think we might be on our way back to NJ or to where most of J,s family is- - in Da Bronx- - well see, that's a different post for a different time
- Thanks for the "Happy Fathers Day"- -me and my son-(who is now 26 yrs old & in his 40something day of his 90/90 in AA) went fishing for about 6 hours -6 am to noon-
You would think that 6 hours of fishing would be long enuff >> apparently these fish must start biting at 1- -because we caught 3 fish in those 6 hours. I guess the whole idea was to have a nice father/son day, so it was pretty cool. This has become a tradition now, I think since he,s been a little kid we went fishing on fathers day. Well, not every yr, but definitely a lot of years, and definitely the last 4 or 5 in a row... Kinda nice. I think the fish have us figured out though -
Dont know if I mentioned the news here- but about 3 weeks ago , his mother(my wife) passed away- -Even though I hadnt seen her in about 10 yrs it was very sad. A real shame. His mom and I got on the mdone program together in the mid 80,s - Jr was born in 86. We separated in the early 90,s She eventually stopped using dope and got off of methadone by 2000. Unfortunately, she started drinking alcohol and never stopped. So sadley ,at 55 yrs old she died from liver failure due to alcoholism
Well, I didn't mean to go from a happy fathers day story to a sad story of addiction and death- but my life has been lived on a fine line of good and bad.
The kid ,like most kids, never wanted to see his mom in a bad light. So when it finally happened, (it was comin for yrs) he was forced to confront feelings that he was probably burying for years.- Me?? Like I said we had no relationship at all, but at one time we must have ,,right??- -I really felt for her sisters and her boyfriend,,who were trying to help her for many yrs..I think the last few they just resigned themselves to the inevitable
OK-- my journey with pain mangt, and being off the klinic? Its been a roller coaster. I really wanted to do this before I died, ,but right now Im leaning to getting back on. At least until they do the back surgery. Then maybe do it right and come down little by little. I absolutely came off way too fast. I dont know what I was thinking because I knew better.
As it is I take 30 mgs a day . I go to a doctor,and get a script for the month, I gotta tell ya, its a whole different life than the one who have to live when your on a klinic, No lines, no leaving samples, no bullsjit social workers who are just getting a check and really dont give a ship. I wish that the stigma that has been with mdone since..forever..would just end. Until that happens it will never be effective as a pain mgt drug. Doctors are afraid to prescribe doses that they know would be effective because of the way the drug and the klinic system are perceived by society
OKKK- -gotta go = =Glad to see ya around Brynn baby***
and to all the rest of youse Ive seen on and off since 2005- - -see ya soon
jack
Three fish in six hours between two men? That's about right, Jack. BWAHAHA Like you said it was really about a tradition of sorts and spending time together.
Jack, you have been a wonderful father as we know from our years here. We've kind of watched through this board some of our kids grow. I'm glad he is doing O.K. and that fishing works wonders for the soul. Good for him.
Please know I am so sorry about his mom. So young. Jack, you never spoke wrong of her. Of course you had a relationship and have a fine, young man to show for it. He must have been devastated. I'll put a paryer up for her.
CT? I had no idea. How'd it feel to move out of NY after your whole life being there? So many people our age are just up and moving out from our original digs, man. Hope if you're moving back it's under good circumstances.
Dear Jack I am so sorry about your pain. That s*cks. I don't want you to be in pain. back pain of all things. They say when your back hurts everything hurts. Then the whole concept of surgery and all that. We need for you to have some decent, quality of life in these years. BTW, considering myself downright ancient anymore.
Much love, babes and thrilled you two had a nice day. Thinking of you.
How's your mom? What happened to Kiwi? OMG that bird. *smile*
Jack, you have been a wonderful father as we know from our years here. We've kind of watched through this board some of our kids grow. I'm glad he is doing O.K. and that fishing works wonders for the soul. Good for him.
Please know I am so sorry about his mom. So young. Jack, you never spoke wrong of her. Of course you had a relationship and have a fine, young man to show for it. He must have been devastated. I'll put a paryer up for her.
CT? I had no idea. How'd it feel to move out of NY after your whole life being there? So many people our age are just up and moving out from our original digs, man. Hope if you're moving back it's under good circumstances.
Dear Jack I am so sorry about your pain. That s*cks. I don't want you to be in pain. back pain of all things. They say when your back hurts everything hurts. Then the whole concept of surgery and all that. We need for you to have some decent, quality of life in these years. BTW, considering myself downright ancient anymore.
Much love, babes and thrilled you two had a nice day. Thinking of you.
How's your mom? What happened to Kiwi? OMG that bird. *smile*
Oh dang I met to ask after Sandy as well. How's she doing?
HaHa- -
Chickies bird "kiwi" is doing better than all of us- -
Sandy ...well I really feel bad , and very guilty about the way it ended- - She was drinking and she was on psychiatric meds- - NO Good!!- - I thought she was just gonna fall asleep and never wake up -
Shw is now in a Nothern NJ city- -free housing, all social services... you know the deal- - -still I was with her for almost 17 yrs- - Sometimes I feel loke I abanded her when she needed me most/
But she was getting really bad...and I was going in the other direction>> trying to get off the klinic - - My mom, wanted her out her house because she was afraid sandy was gonna burn it down by accident -
So we split - -another thing I have to feel guilty about - - I havent seen her in about 6 months- she walks around with a cane, looking sad and confused- -I feel partly responsible- and feel that after all that time she deserves better from me (financially and emotionally) - anyway ,Ill try to do the right thing
Meanwhile, I net an old friend from 30 yrs ago (after me and S split ) - moved to CT and got off the klinic. I really wasn't looking to get off the klinic so fast, but it just happened that way- - its caused big pain problems- so Im thinkin of getting back on so I can have a better quality of life for awhile....at least till the surgery
Jeanie has been clean and sober for 27 yrs- -so I do have a good partner on that way- - and who knows why?? but the girl still loves me all these yrs later
Yeah, the lease has run out in CT- her ex-husband is no-good , and we,re kind broke. It looks like we might have to tay at her old apt on the Bronx. Her brother is still there, but its pletty big for a family of 4 - -So with her 16 yr old daughter, and the 6 yr old carin terrier ,it would be plenty of room -
Let me go- -Ill be in touch- - Hope all is well in Rocky town
lovejack
Chickies bird "kiwi" is doing better than all of us- -
Sandy ...well I really feel bad , and very guilty about the way it ended- - She was drinking and she was on psychiatric meds- - NO Good!!- - I thought she was just gonna fall asleep and never wake up -
Shw is now in a Nothern NJ city- -free housing, all social services... you know the deal- - -still I was with her for almost 17 yrs- - Sometimes I feel loke I abanded her when she needed me most/
But she was getting really bad...and I was going in the other direction>> trying to get off the klinic - - My mom, wanted her out her house because she was afraid sandy was gonna burn it down by accident -
So we split - -another thing I have to feel guilty about - - I havent seen her in about 6 months- she walks around with a cane, looking sad and confused- -I feel partly responsible- and feel that after all that time she deserves better from me (financially and emotionally) - anyway ,Ill try to do the right thing
Meanwhile, I net an old friend from 30 yrs ago (after me and S split ) - moved to CT and got off the klinic. I really wasn't looking to get off the klinic so fast, but it just happened that way- - its caused big pain problems- so Im thinkin of getting back on so I can have a better quality of life for awhile....at least till the surgery
Jeanie has been clean and sober for 27 yrs- -so I do have a good partner on that way- - and who knows why?? but the girl still loves me all these yrs later
Yeah, the lease has run out in CT- her ex-husband is no-good , and we,re kind broke. It looks like we might have to tay at her old apt on the Bronx. Her brother is still there, but its pletty big for a family of 4 - -So with her 16 yr old daughter, and the 6 yr old carin terrier ,it would be plenty of room -
Let me go- -Ill be in touch- - Hope all is well in Rocky town
lovejack
Thanks for sharing here, Jack. I love reading your updates. You're so open & honest, a success story.
And so good to see Bryn popping in & posting. What did we used to call that, a fly by?
xoxo
Stacey
And so good to see Bryn popping in & posting. What did we used to call that, a fly by?
xoxo
Stacey
Wowzer Jack things have moved for you.
Sorry about Sandy and your boy's mum but it sounds like things are coming good for you apart from the back.
I broke mine in 96 in a horse riding accident so I get the pain thing. I was lucky, able to learn to walk again but even now the pain comes back. I move too quickly or the weather is cold.
My man is clean - think he'll stay that way, his head is right but it has taken so long as this board will testify to - 10 years maybe
Take it easy.
Sorry about Sandy and your boy's mum but it sounds like things are coming good for you apart from the back.
I broke mine in 96 in a horse riding accident so I get the pain thing. I was lucky, able to learn to walk again but even now the pain comes back. I move too quickly or the weather is cold.
My man is clean - think he'll stay that way, his head is right but it has taken so long as this board will testify to - 10 years maybe
Take it easy.
Well things sure are moving along. Jack and Jazwannnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hi, Jaz so good to see you here. This is great news about your man. How ya doing yourself, Jaz? I figured you'd be busy 24/7 picking a name for a certain new baby coming. BWAHAHA As always, Jaz you are missed.
JACK, GET OUT!!!!!!!!!!! You hear that so often that people reconnect after so long and IT WORKS! Jack, that is thrilling . We love knowing you are happy. Oh and of course someone loves you after all those years. At the core we stay who we truly are, and you're wonderful. So happy for you.
Jack, that is seriously sad about Sandy. Jack, why do we always feel guilty? It's our curse I tell ya. No way can I go on the old "Well you know it's not your fault and people choose" blah, blah, but it is true. Lord knows we can't have happiness guilt free, right?
You're our Jack and you know we all know what a good man you are. Stay happy. Miss ya mucho. Enjoy your life.
Hi, Jaz so good to see you here. This is great news about your man. How ya doing yourself, Jaz? I figured you'd be busy 24/7 picking a name for a certain new baby coming. BWAHAHA As always, Jaz you are missed.
JACK, GET OUT!!!!!!!!!!! You hear that so often that people reconnect after so long and IT WORKS! Jack, that is thrilling . We love knowing you are happy. Oh and of course someone loves you after all those years. At the core we stay who we truly are, and you're wonderful. So happy for you.
Jack, that is seriously sad about Sandy. Jack, why do we always feel guilty? It's our curse I tell ya. No way can I go on the old "Well you know it's not your fault and people choose" blah, blah, but it is true. Lord knows we can't have happiness guilt free, right?
You're our Jack and you know we all know what a good man you are. Stay happy. Miss ya mucho. Enjoy your life.
