as some of you know my 8 yr. old has been having some medical problems. I have had little time to recover from the stress of her hospital stay, upcoming tests etc.
in addition, what one i think called as my "obsession" re. my sisters wedding situation.
well I took the advice of most, not just those on this board but family members and friends, and received and attacking email from my sisters mother, my ex step mother.
all those old feelings i had re. the whole situation of feeling second best were just validated in her email.
she accused me of putting a guilt trip on my sister, tyring to be her mother and take her place, blaming her for all my problems, that i am too hard to get close to or she and i could have had a better relationship. i could go on and on, but she beat me in the ground accusing me of really bad things. apparently she told my sister she would pay my way, and never told me that.
it is hard for me to trust that this was not a ploy to create chaos so she could be the shining start and have all her daughters attention.
she had no respect for my situation or my family. again i was s***.
the funny thing, she said i was hard to get close to, well hell i am a social worker.???? who is really carrying the grudge.
anyway, i am distancing myself, taking none of her nasty money, leaving my kids with my mother, my husband and i will save enough to go without their help. do what i have to do for my sister and that is it.
i am just really low today. my husband took the kids and the three of them went to my in laws for the day and night. i just feel beat down. no energy.
i am going to take care of me, but the resentment is hard to battle. the humaness of wanting to pinch her head off and go bowling with it, is overwhelming. thanks for reading.
JAMV, you might want to consider looking to the Steps to deal with your feelings on this. There is a lifetime of 4th step work available to you, all of which can be mined from the feelings you are experiencing today.
Doing this kind of work is so much better than letting these kinds of feeling fester day in day out, year in year out. Often, they lead us right back to our drug of choice, what ever that may be.
With the Step work, we can get shed of that stuff once and for all and be happier for it.
Good luck.
August
Doing this kind of work is so much better than letting these kinds of feeling fester day in day out, year in year out. Often, they lead us right back to our drug of choice, what ever that may be.
With the Step work, we can get shed of that stuff once and for all and be happier for it.
Good luck.
August
hey, august i posted on pain pills, i am going to give it a whirl, i have 24 hours without kids. now if i can quit sneezing and breathe.
