Feeling Sad Tonight...

Hi everyone..my son is coming home sunday night..till next sunday night.

And I am so excited...

And at the same time..I am so sad...
My husband..the divorce is on hold till custody is determined...took him and left a week ago...and i know he no longer loves me or wants to be with me..
Why dont I feel the same way?????
I just keep thinking..i love (loved??) him so much..and i really really miss him.
Believe me..my son is #1 priority..hes the one i think about 99.9%..
Eric has not told me the truth about his feelings in a year...u dont just up and leave someone u "love so much" and want to start over..a new life..a new beginning...
U dont leave someone u vowed u would love "in SICKNESS and in health"
I know i messed so many things up..i know a lot of it was my fault...
But i wasnt even given a chance to prove myself.

I guess im most afraid of being alone..and being a single mom...

Thanks for listening..i just needed to get it out...and sometimes i think my friends and family are getting sick of me repeating myself with all the "what ifs"

I cant tell u how many times i have said the serenity prayer in the past 6 days..
I'm glad you shared this Leolady. I wish I could say the magic words that would make you feel better, but you have to find them in your heart.

You have been going through so much stress lately, I can't even imagine

Just know that you are in my prayers along with your children.

God Bless You!


The Serenity Prayer is my anchor in the storm...keep on believing it...
Thank u Janet..u always have such encouraging words and advice..u r a beautiful person!!
leolady my other half is leaving me to after many years, but what i learned is that being high on these pills for so long is that they made me numb, emotions and all, so by the time we try and fix it , it is to late, we have to live with the consequences of our actions and move on. I'm gonna have to put a ad in match.com and tell the city of Flagstaff a hot sexy 42 yr old male is available and will grovel to chick flicks and mall walking GAG!!! lol oh well gotta do what we gotta do, we can either get busy dyin, or get busy livin, i don't know about you but i wanna get busy livin (-:
Hey honey


Hope you dont mind me asking this...but how OLD is your husband....men go through mid life crisis, a male type menopause.....and often they will go out and buy a new sports car, or get a hairpiece, or start wearing spiffier clothes...but all too often, they want to "get out there again" They are scared of being stuck, scared of getting older and thinking perhaps they "missed out on something"

Remember this is probably not about you, its about him.....and if in fact there is still a lot of love between you both, he will realize what he had and return....

Im not condoning running out on a relationship, by any means. just saying that you have to sort of take into account where his head may be at, and not think that he just doesnt love you anymore....you could be Pamela fing Anderson, and Martha Stewart combined, and hed still be wear he is emotionally right now...

As hard as it is, you just need to concentrate on you and what YOU. want out of life, and give him enough rope to hang himself..lolol

Im glad your son is back for a week, see? At the time you were so scared that he may NEVER be back.....its the unknown that is scary, and im sure that everything will turn out to be exactlythe way it should be.....you have to believe in fate a bit here...

God never closes a door without opening another....

Now go play i will survive, by Diana Ross, concentrate on YOUR happiness and decide whether you even want him back if and when that were to occur...You may well decide that life is better without him, and not want HIM back at all...It happens all the time....

Think of yourself as on a great journey in life....anything and everything wonderful can happen for you; change can cultivate even better change...

keep posting honey

Hugs

Ali
Just for you LeoLady...wish i could play it for you....

______________________________________________________


At first I was afraid, I was petrified

Kept thinkin I could never live without you by my side

Then I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong

And I grew strong

And I learned how to get along



And so youre back from outer space

I just walked in to find you here, with that sad look upon your face

I should have changed that stupid lock

I should have made you leave your key

If I had known for just one second youd be back to bother me



Go on now, go walk out the door

Just turn around now

coz youre not welcome anymore

Werent you the one who tried to break me with goodbye?

Did you think Id crumble?

Did you think Id lay down and die?

Oh no not i, I will survive

For as long as I know how to love, I know Ill stay alive

Ive got all my life to live

And Ive got all my love to give

Ill survive

I will survive

Hey hey



(i, I will survive)

Hey hey

(i, I will survive)

Every day

(i, I will survive)

Oh yeah



It took all the strength I had not to fall apart

Just trying hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart

And I spent oh so many nights just feeling sorry for myself

I used to cry, but now I hold my head up high

And you see me, somebody new

Im not that chained up little person still in love with you

And so you felt like dropping in and just expect me to be free

But now Im savin all my lovin for someone whos lovin me



Go on now, go walk out the door

Just turn around now

Youre not welcome anymore

Werent you the one who tried to break me with goodbye?

Did you think Id crumble?

Did you think Id lay down and die?

Oh no not i, I will survive

Oh as long as I know how to love, I know Ill stay alive

Ive got all my life to live

And Ive got all my love to give

Ill survive

I will survive

Hey hey



Go now, go walk out the door

Just turn around now

coz youre not welcome anymore

Werent you the one who tried to break me with goodbye?

Did you think Id crumble?

Did you think Id lay down and die?

Oh no not i, I will survive

Oh as long as I know how to love, I know Ill stay alive

Ive got all my life to live

And Ive got all my love to give

Ill survive

I will survive

I will survive



(i, I will survive)

Hey

(i, I will survive)

Every day

(i, I will survive)

Yeah yeah



(i, I will survive)

Oh

(i, I will survive)

I will survive

(i, I will survive)



(i, I will survive)

Ive got all my love to give

(i, I will survive)

Ive got all my life to live

(i, I will survive)

My loving is not in vain, oh no



(i, I will survive)

I will survive

(i, I will survive)

I will survive

(i, I will survive)

Hey
Thanks Ali..I have actually been cleaning today...and i admit..i love disco music..gets me motivated..and that song is on my cd...hee hee..i played it about 20 times... I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My husband is 32 and im 37...

It does feel good to talk with people who know how your feeling...

When i picked my son up from school today..i do it everyday..extra 30 minutes i get to be with him till his dad is off work...First thing he said..."2 more nights mom"..oh man..we both just lit up and hugged sooooo tight..i mean he was squeezing me so hard..

Ali your right about my husband having his head somewhere else..i mean i caused the guy to go bankrupt...after years and years of perfect credit...along with so many other things..enough that he will never forgive me..but...its time to let it go..time to start livin again..right glad??

Hey if u put that ad in match.com..put one in for me too..37 yr old..looking for elderly man..with one foot in the grave...LMAO!!! Just kidding!!!

Leslie

one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel? lol
Leo... i am so sorry you are having to go thru this. I can only imagine what you are feeling. Always remember that YOU ARE A SURVIVOR. Don't let anyone or anything get you down. I am glad your son is coming. I wish i could make it all better for you... just know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Love and God Bless, Bri :)
Thanks Bri..just a low time..i hope soon there are less and less of them...

I love your quote...its so very true..
hey thats a good idea ali, maybe i should get a rug and a corvette and a big gold chain lol, and get a girlfriend with a big TATTOE on her back, and whatsup with that anyways? these women getting big tattoes? ugh what a turnoff
No tatooes on this girl...dont like them either,.,,for me that is...

LeoLady...whatdo you mean YOU made him go bankrupt.,..you are taking all the blame for that..WHY? As husband and wife you are BOTh responsible for the finances. so how is it all YOUR fault??\ What ine of work is your busband in??

Hugs

Ali
Men do go through that phase....some more than others, but many of them, after looking around to see what they've been missing, find out it's nothing and want to get back to their familiar family life. If you've watched Sopranos, you've seen it written into the script....because it does happen in life.

My own husband was afraid of getting old for years and went through a phase where he and I were hanging out with my oldest and his friends occasionally. I went though it with him even though I thought it was kind of foolish, but the good part was that we developed a very strong bond with the oldest son that never went away.

Anway, the point I'm trying to make is that you really don't need a man to complete you. You can be your own best friend.
How are you doing today Leolady? check in with us when you have a chance...
Hi everyone..I am doing better today...only one more night!!!

My mom, danielle (my daughter) and i are going to get shoes for my daughter..she has "winterfest" tonight...its not a formal..thank goodness...just a dress up deal...so i have that to occupy my day..im also driving and picking her and "her friend" up..cant say boyfriend...lol

Ali..He does heating and cooling but has been laid off sooooo many times due to lack of work..he is actually working on his BIL farm..something way out of what i ever imagined him doing..

And the reason i take all the blame..it was my job to pay the bills..and well..i didnt..and spent it on those little white things we all know too well...

Thank u for thinking of me Janet...
Im off for a few hrs...

((((((((((hugs))))))))))

Leslie
thanks for checking in Leslie..shoe shopping is always fun...

I have gained weight, but my shoes always fit...lol