Just popping in for those of you that have supported me..as most of you know I am going through the blues phase. I just burst into screaming tears every 1/2 hour. I feel bad for my kids ya know? They didn't know of my addiction, but so much money thousands of dollars I've could have spent on them for whatever, is gone. This is the 3rd week not buying any pills and next week I'm taking them all out..My question is I know this will pass..has anyone else just cried and cried and felt enormous guilt? Will I ever be that great mommy they used to know before pills took over? I miss that mommy soooooo much! Thanks again, big hugs to all, Kim
Kimberely, I know what you're talking about, the guilt and shame. You have put an end to the numbness and are starting to feel things you haven't dealt with while using. It's like a huge black cloud hanging over you, huh?
You just have to let it go. Accept the things you can not change. You can't get the money or the years back that you lost while using, but you can move forward and live a clean life. You may find you like the new mother you become just as much! Take care!
I'm going through the shame thing myself right now, for the exact same reasons...
My therapist told me to try to concentrate only on the good things..... instead of focusing on the shame and guilt over the past, try to just think about the good that you are doing now and what you can do for your kids from this day forward.
I wish you the best.
Danni
My therapist told me to try to concentrate only on the good things..... instead of focusing on the shame and guilt over the past, try to just think about the good that you are doing now and what you can do for your kids from this day forward.
I wish you the best.
Danni
I know where you're coming from, I felt that way as well -- still do at times. But I think there's another side as well. Because of our experience with addiction and where it took us in our lives, maybe we can be much better parents to our kids than if we'd never gone there -- as long as we stay clean.
Whether we share all the gritty little details with them or not, we'll have a greater resource of personal experience to draw from when helping and advising them through their own difficulties -- especially the drama of the teen years. We may learn greater humility, gain wisdom, and acquire a deeper faith in the human spirit and its ability to rebound. How could this not make us better parents? In my own situation, it already has helped me be less judgmental, less controling, and more supportive of my 16 yr. old daughter. So maybe there's another side to all this parental shame and guilt...a more useful side.....as long as we stay clean. Just a thought
Whether we share all the gritty little details with them or not, we'll have a greater resource of personal experience to draw from when helping and advising them through their own difficulties -- especially the drama of the teen years. We may learn greater humility, gain wisdom, and acquire a deeper faith in the human spirit and its ability to rebound. How could this not make us better parents? In my own situation, it already has helped me be less judgmental, less controling, and more supportive of my 16 yr. old daughter. So maybe there's another side to all this parental shame and guilt...a more useful side.....as long as we stay clean. Just a thought
none,
I would like to add just one thing to what you said.... the experience not only can make us a better parent with more wisdom and humility it can also make us better human beings.
Teresa
I would like to add just one thing to what you said.... the experience not only can make us a better parent with more wisdom and humility it can also make us better human beings.
Teresa
Amen.
