Feeling Trapped In The Prison I Created

I was wondering if anyone had any advice on what to do when you are on VERY strong medications and are addicted but have medical conditions for life and still need something to be able to get out of bed and function.
I have been taking rx's for over 10 years now and am scared how to function without them but i need a better plan to manage my pain because it feels like i'm not living anymore - just poorly exsiting and i can't "live" like this anymore!
There are many people in this world who suffer from diseases or illnesses that cause them chronic, intractable pain. There is just no way they would be able to function without some sort of medication or therapy. With intractable pain usually comes depression, not for all, but for a lot of sufferers.

There is a website called Intractablepainsurvival.pdf that has lots of useful information. If you can't get there through the address above just google Intractable Pain.

Maybe after so long on strong meds you need to under your doctor's supervision, adjust or change some of your meds? I don't know what your physical illness is but is sounds like you need to talk to a pain management specialist and maybe a psychologist to help you deal with the emotional pain you are going through.

No one should have to live in uncontrollable pain, but I would think that (depending on your illness) the docs could prescribe you just enough meds so you could live as "normal" a life as possible. Enough so maybe you could just get out and grocery shop. Or just enough for you to shower and sit out in the glorious sun.

Sorry this is so long, but you sound so upset and there is help out there. Maybe someone in your family can help you make some phone calls or you can do this for yourself. I don't know anything about your story but I can feel the depression through your post and that can make your pain even worse. Seek out some help, I am sorry you are going through all this pain.

In my prayers,

Jan
Good advice Jan on the pain specialist
Jan....I just have to second Danny's post and add that was a very nice heartfelt message that you wrote!
Hi. I live with chronic pain, too. I started getting addicted to pain meds after gall bladder surgery in '98. After that, it seemed that there was always something going on physically in my body that I needed them for. In late '01 I started having uncontrollable pain throughout my body. Of course, more pills. I was so upset, mainly because no one could tell me what was going on. After many, many unnecessary tests, I found a new doctor who diagnosed me with fibromyalgia. More pills. I was being given Vicodin. I knew I was taking more than I should and, at this point, was starting to get concerned (see I have never smoked pot or even a cigarette) abount being addicted. My doctor wanted to put me on oxycontin. I said no for many months until I finally gave in and said I would try it. Boy did I love it. Of course, due to tolerance, my doses kept getting higher and higher till I was being prescribed 120 mg a day! And I was taking more than that. Each time I would run out before I could get my refills, I felt major pain. I was so depressed that I thought I was going to have to deal with this pain for the rest of my life. I knew I was addicted but scared to tell anyone because I was scared I was going to have to live in pain with nothing to take for it. In the past year, I have since quit the oxy. I'm still dealing with addiction issues and am trying very hard to overcome it. But (and the reason for my post) what I have found is that being off the pills isn't so bad. I actually have less pain. See when you take all those opiates, your body won't fight pain on it's own. Anyway, I'm living fairly pain free now. Maybe you could gradually reduce your doses and see exactly how bad your pain really is and if you really need all that medicine. Be upfront and honest with your doctor and they should be willing to listen and help you though this. If not, find another doc. It won't be easy, but it's what worked for me. Best of luck to you.