Fibro Minalgia...

Hey yall:

My mom and I have no relationship at all but on Mother's day I was actually able to track her down. I told her if she would come see me and my kids I would pay for it and she agreed. We'll see if she gets on the plane or not but hoping for the best.

Anyway, she said she now has fibro minalgia which makes her hurt alot. She takes percs and oxy's for it but that isnt really my concern. My concern is, what will she be like now?

I want to plan stuff but she says 'I cant get around like I use to' and I dont know exactly what that mean. Someone here has this but I am ashamed to say I cant remember who.

If anyone could tell me what to expect I would be so appreciative. I havent seen her in years and she was fine then. Now, I dont know what to expect. This intimadates me a little.

She and I had a good talk on Mothers day and I said Momma, forget trying to be my mom... just be my friend. She agreed. Thanks for any replies I may receive.

My sister in law has it - it's fibromyalgia. She's achy and tired all the time and gets sore very easily.

Long term pain meds aren't the answer in general. Usually they put you on antidepressants, and try other therapies.

Try to be tolerant - I bet she isn't feeling too great!
That is what I was thinking. I wanted to take her and the kids to Universal and Busch Gardens but that would not be a good idea to suggest, I suppose.

I am use to having to try to keep up with her... seeing her age is going to be strange. I want to make sure I dont run her into the ground on what is suppose to be a vacation for her.

Thank you for your reply.

Yeah, and thanks for the correct spelling, helps greatly in my research.
Treat her like an old friend and ask maybe would she like 2 go to ect....
She will let u know what she can do.

I am sure this is strange but let her help decide what u guys do when she gets there. I hope she i still doin well with it.

My love to u and happy visit,
Morning Kyra, hows my babygirl?

I think I will just mention some stuff we can do while she is here and let her know it is ok to just lay around too if thats what she wants to do... she just isnt going to lay around and drink, which I have already told her.

I am excited that she is coming. I havent seen her since '98 and she just keeps warning me that (in her words) "Now, I cant get around like I use to" so of course I am expected her to come down the plane terminal looking elderly rather than the sexy grandma she once was. Immaturity on my part... we have to be able to accept our parents aging. I think the reason I am so worried is because it has been 7 yrs since I saw her and in your late 50's I imagine 7 yrs makes a big difference. Those thoughts and fears are my problem, my immaturity and something I have to face, not her.

So what ya doin' this weekend?

I honestly dont care if she lays on the couch for a solid week as long as she is here. She may not have been a good mom but she is my mom and I love her.
Hi K, I am the one with Fibromyalgia, Kansas girl has it too. It is a very debilitating desease, but doesn't atrophy the muscles. Symptoms are muscle aches and pains, inability to think clearly, add depression because you are so sad because you can't do things you want to do, because to do so will put you in your bed, most people don't recognize it as a disease and think we are lazy or crazy or a hypochondriac...It's very real honey, they don't honestly know what causes it, but it can be treated with pain medications and anti depressants. I occasional get lortabs, i am on klonopin to keep my body relaxed so that I don't have as much muscle pain. You get aches and pains in your joints also, but they don't swell. I'm sorry to hear your mom has it. May God Bless her and keep her pain free for today.
Bump:

That sounds exactly how she descibed it. She said although the pain was VERY annoying because it is constant, the depression is much worse because it makes you unable to be the person you once were. She is on Paxil but says she doesnt like it. She said it makes her very emotional.

Thank you for helping me understand her plight. One good thing to come out of her illness, she says she has settled down alot and drinks alot less. Every cloud has a silver lining, they say.
Kaela, don't worry about your mom, she will tell you what she can and can't do. The main problem (besides the pain) is the tiredness. I am so much better now that they put me on Cymbalta which is the newest antidepressant. It actually was passed by the FDA for depression and pain. I've never felt better in the 3 years that I've been diagnosed. She won't look different, because you don't, it's the inside that hurts and changes. You might notice she doesn't move as well and she has to pace herself really well. That was my hardest part and still is. I think it's great you want to take her to these places but unfortuantely they are places with alot of walking and that could send her into a huge flare. What I mean by that, is you have constant pain but when you have a flare your pain level is 9-10, if you understant the pain scale of 0-10, 10 being the worse. She will know what she can do. Now, I'm off all pain meds, even with a flare, because I'm an addict, which makes it more difficult to get over. I will take Soma (muscle relaxant) and that helps some and I also take Klonopin for my Restless Leg Syndrome, which goes along with Fibro. Also, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome goes along with it too but I don't know if she has these. Just treat her normal and ask her what she would like to do. It might be you drive around and see the sites and sit around and catch up on everything. Depression is a big part of it and that's from the pain and not being able to accept the fact you have the problem. It was for me. Any other questions, please write back. I'd be happy to help you.
Kansas:

That is what she said... she would be able to do those things but wouldnt be able to move the next day. I havent seen her in many years.

I am CERTAINLY going to mention your anti-depressant to her because she hates the Paxil. She was once very sexually active but says she has no drive now.

I bet I'll get it too. I never drink milk, if that attributes to it. I am currently researching the disease so I can be as helpful to her as possible. I am just really thankful that she has settled down and wants to come see me and her grandbabies. This may sound harsh but at least this settled her down, otherwise she would have drank herself to death. She cant do that now because of all the meds.

Thanks hun, in the beginning I didnt even know how to spell it. I appreciate any advice or sharing of concern I may receive.
Kaela, unfortunately I've heard it can be hereditary, but they know so little about it. I also have Lupus which also is carried. Some people tell me Fibro is brought on by increases amount of stress in our life and the weird thing is, I can remember the stress I was under when I started getting the symptoms. It was just constant pain and aching all over, even the bottom of my feet. Of course, they sent me to every Dr. to rule things out and then sent me to a pain clinic. You have these trigger points in your body and if you have 11 out of 18 inflammed that's the only way they diagnose. I had 13.There is no cure, just meds to keep you comfortable, changing you diet and mild exercising (swim classes). Yes, I would talk to your Mom about changing A.D.'s. My mom has been on Paxil for years and she doesn't cry, doesn't have emotions at all. At least I still have emotions. Suicide was my only thought for a long time after diagnosis and getting hooked on opiates, plus not feeling like doing anything, but I didn't, thank God, and thank my son. I want to see him grow up, graduate and all those things. It would be good to learn all you can before she comes.
I don't drink milk either and you are suppose to have a better sex drive with this drug.
I really can imagine what you are feeling.Me and my mom have had some really rocky times.The last estrangement went on for 13 years.I was very scared and remembered my mom as this young vital beautiful woman.My mom is an alcoholic and has done drugs too.They weren't kind to her appearance.It didn't matter tho when we reunited.It was great and we are working on having a good healthy(emotionally)relationship.I wish you well with this and it will be ok.
love,
ladybug