First post here, so be gentle!
My son (31), has been a heroin addict for around 10 years. Two years ago, he decided he wanted to get clean, and we somewhat sceptically paid around for him to check into a detox clinic. He only stayed around half the week, but we managed to get him through to the point where he was able to have a naltrexone implant. It took several weeks for him to get to anything like near normal after the detox; he was ill, weak and unable to work. The second implant reacted (an itchy rash) and he felt that he didn't need any more.
That was just over two years ago, and things have been pretty good since then - he's trained as a plumber and been doing OK although never has any money. Today I found out that he has started using again, and has been for around a month. His girlfriend contacted me - she had taken him away for the weekend to try and get him off it, but as soon as he came home he used again. I really don't know what to do next. He does not want to go down the methadone/subutex route, but says he wants to stop. He also threatened to kill himself if she told me, so I'm worried about his mental health. As he managed to get through the weekend without using, I think he could possibly detox for a week and have a new implant. But he does not want to go back to the clinic (and the cost was almost 5K, so quite prohibitive). I thought about booking a hotel somewhere remote for a week and staying with him, with an implant booked for the end of the week - although it looks like these have gone up in cost from 800 2 years ago, to 1800. As well as the heroin he's been taking Tramadol and who knows what else.
Any advice/insight appreciated.
Feel like a train's hit me at the moment, although I guess I knew it was inevitable at some point. :(
Oh, we're in the UK if that makes a difference.
If he hasn't given any indication he wants to put it down...then you would be wasting your time and money. ..if he wants clean...he will figure it out. ...im sorry...having no money but still working would have been a big indicator he's been using...im thinking he's been using longer than both of you think....if he's up for wanting clean time...he knows what to do
Con
Con
my son worked full time for years and never had money. I even offered to double his savings if he had any by the next paycheck. how hard is that... just save $5 and I would make it $10. nope, never tried. I am not sure at what point it was mismanagement and what point it was pain pills. looking back I think he used to buy drugs and alcohol sometimes, but the pain pills became constant. during recovery - for the past 6 months he has been working, but rent is a little high and salary is low, but had no other expenses, yet still could not pay rent, but didnt act like he was trying to.... I do think he had some sober weeks, and I do think he saw the extra money on those weeks - probably the times that he paid rent.
anyway - as con said - working = no money = using.
my youngest child away at college can live on $50 per week for food. my son needed $500!
he is now at a relatives home for past two weeks. has not spent a dollar. and basically cant go anywhere.
anyway - as con said - working = no money = using.
my youngest child away at college can live on $50 per week for food. my son needed $500!
he is now at a relatives home for past two weeks. has not spent a dollar. and basically cant go anywhere.
I'm sorry you're going through this but I have to agree with the others, this is up to him, if he decides to get clean. He's a grown man. He's using the suicide threat to his girlfriend as a control tactic. Addicts are master manipulators. You and the girlfriend need to lay down some boundaries and stop with any kind of enabling. As any of the addicts on here, in recovery will tell you, your son is not stupid, if he wants to get clean, he knows how and where to go. Good luck to you.
Michelle
Michelle
you are giving your son suggestions, he is not taking them. as someone told be about my son -- he wants to do it HIS way, not your way, not NA, not implant, not sober living, and so on. He will not like anything you suggest because it is not what he wants.
Keep suggesting and give nothing more. do not go out on a limb financially unless he is participating in his recovery.
Keep suggesting and give nothing more. do not go out on a limb financially unless he is participating in his recovery.
