Hi everyone, hope you are all well and still staying strong. Bry Ive posted you a few messages but I dont know if you have read them? The last one was on my thread EMBARRASED. Hope you are ok?.
Thats me finished my detox today I got my last subutex today, so Ive to wait until Tuesday(6 days) then I go on the blocker naltrexoen. Im doing ok still drug free that will be 17 days now. My head is still all over the place and Im still getting sweaty palms, not sleeping properly and I still feel my body is on fire but its bearable so I guess that should eventually get better!. Im going to my first N/A tomorrow night Its the nearest one to where I live and I dont know what to expect. I dont know that much about how long you can stay on subutex, but I feel now as if the detox has been really quick and for me using for 6 years nearly everyday and now my 16 day detox is done and I have to stay clean from all opaties for 6 days or else the hospital wont give me the blocker. Everyone is different and im still feeling like s*** . Last week i felt stable on the subutex when I was getting 6mg then I got 4mg, but since they started bringing me down from 4mg I have really felt it today was my last tablet and it was zero point something....
I hope that tomorrow when I go to this meeting I dont feel under pressure to talk if i dont want to, Ive never been to any kind of n/a but Im hoping it will help me a bit and i walk away from it feeling glad that i went.
Take loads of care
Yvonne
Congrats yvonne, you have come so far and should be rightly proud of yourself :-)
know that yes, things will get better with each passing day. :-)
As for tomorrows meeting........there is never any pressure to speak if you wish not to. Raise your hand if you feel the need to share, if not just sit back and listen. It is always a good idea though to at least raise your hand just to say "Hi I'm Yvonne and this ismy first time here".Let ppl know who you r so they can reach out to you and if you want to let them know where you r at. Best of luck to you hope all goes well :-)
Tres
know that yes, things will get better with each passing day. :-)
As for tomorrows meeting........there is never any pressure to speak if you wish not to. Raise your hand if you feel the need to share, if not just sit back and listen. It is always a good idea though to at least raise your hand just to say "Hi I'm Yvonne and this ismy first time here".Let ppl know who you r so they can reach out to you and if you want to let them know where you r at. Best of luck to you hope all goes well :-)
Tres
How did you get the help you needed? your timescale as a user is similar to my son's! I live in Scotland and the process takes SO long. Plua all the rehab units seemed to be PRIVATE and cost a bomb. they will take NHS refferals, but the doctor has to apply for the funding and that's where I think the stumbling block will be!
alright Yvonne..just to say keep it up yer doin great..as you know you will have the head&sleep probs for a lil while longer.Was thinking of your posts from a mnth.or so ago..when you were full of desperation&self doubt etc...now look how far ya got..nearly there girl..take care ....Davey
Well done Yvonne,
The worst is over. You've made the plunge and got the 1st 2 weeks behind you. Remember, 6 years is a long time. It will tkae a bit to feel completely normal. The desperation is behind you now as Dave says. It'll be a challenge, but very worth it in the long run. Stay strong. I hope you can make some good friends with good clean time in your meetings! You can do this, really you can!
Best wishes, Beck
The worst is over. You've made the plunge and got the 1st 2 weeks behind you. Remember, 6 years is a long time. It will tkae a bit to feel completely normal. The desperation is behind you now as Dave says. It'll be a challenge, but very worth it in the long run. Stay strong. I hope you can make some good friends with good clean time in your meetings! You can do this, really you can!
Best wishes, Beck
yvonne you are a star. thanks for your lovley reply and am realy glad to hear you are doing so well...keep it up, ya doing great..please take care and thanks again...remember to be kind to your self..x
hello, well done! Glad you're feeling ok, do u frrl a was a bit quick, your detox I mean? Was that your choice or the clinics? I ask as you know that I said I had my appointment at clinic last thursday with the hope of going on to subs. I was so disappointed as I was told I was on too much opiates to go on to subs...and of course my little idea of doing H for the week went bad big time as my 19year old son caught me having a toot and thought that that waS ALL OVER 10 YEARS AGO and that I was going to die!!! I was really overwhelmed by his reaction as I always thought he didn't give a monkeys except wheres my dinner? wheres my clean clothes? give me a lift to...? keep the younger kids out of my room etc, etc. Anyway I have him following me around...asking where I've been, etc, etc. Sad thing is it was the daybefore my appointment at the clinic and I all ready knew it had to stop that day (before I got to my credit limit on my card) and I wish I could have prevented his distress but on a good note, I am living with extremely stressful living circumstances, which he (out of all my 4 kids) has chosen to ignore and just do his own things, whereas the others try to help out as a family, so perhaps being shaken out of his selfish little rut wasn't such a bad thing but I still wish it hadn't happened!!!
The clinic had a new doctor and I was so early I sat and watched people come and go, as I said no go with subs but the only solution to my major laspe was to put my methedone up.......the following week!!! and then if I'm not too good to put it up more the week after that!!!! Deleted all dealers phone numbers from phone but today I've realised I once rang up on my daughters phone and it will be stored on the memory, only I swore on my sons life I wouldn't do it anymore but I feel so desperately lonely and unhappy, I can't bear my head....the way it tortures me.....anyone else feeling s*** today!!!??
The clinic had a new doctor and I was so early I sat and watched people come and go, as I said no go with subs but the only solution to my major laspe was to put my methedone up.......the following week!!! and then if I'm not too good to put it up more the week after that!!!! Deleted all dealers phone numbers from phone but today I've realised I once rang up on my daughters phone and it will be stored on the memory, only I swore on my sons life I wouldn't do it anymore but I feel so desperately lonely and unhappy, I can't bear my head....the way it tortures me.....anyone else feeling s*** today!!!??
Hi guys, thanks for your kind words it means a lot. Im still feeling a bit anxious and still not 100% but im getting there. I went to a n/a meeting today and it was quite humbling to say the least. Its really hit me today that i have a long way to go yet, and its not going to be easy....but i will do my hardest to beat this..
Bette I stay in scotland too and I know what you mean about being a long progress to get the help especially when you know yourself that its time to change your life. I went to my doctor who referred me to my local drug service who i went to and they referred me to the alcohol problem clinic at the hospital were they deal with addictions. I was referred in may but had to wait until august to get an appointment. I had to attend the hospital for 5 weeks twice a week as they said that I had to be mentally and pysically ready for a subutex detox. I was so ready the first day I went for the detox but i was told it was an expensive detox and basically they would not give it out unless they thought you were well prepared and ready for it. I never gave up and i eventually I got my detox 3 weeks ago, I phoned and involved everyone i could (my doctor, cpn even my mum was on the phone daily asking questions why were they not giving me the subutex when i was well ready for it. My detox was 17 days on subutex which i got on nhs. Your son should go to his local drug service as they are lots in glasgow or even ask his doctor where he could go for proffesional help.
Simone sorry to read about you not getting subutex. Your on to much medication and there advice is to go up and up on methodone no wonder you feel like s***, your there for help...why cant they start reducing you until your on a low enough dose for sub? I understand totally about your son, I have a 16 year old daughter and she too caught me a few times with tin foil and It really hurt her as i would promise i would never do it again then i did. Im getting closer with her now, its not brilliant but were getting there. I hope things will settle down for you and your kids. I know it must be hard i can relate totally to your situation. What are you going do? have you to go back to the hospital?
Im on my way to a n/a meeting so i will catch up with you all later.
Hope your ok Bryn? Ive posted a few threads to you so hope all is well with you too.
Take care everyone
Yvonne x
Bette I stay in scotland too and I know what you mean about being a long progress to get the help especially when you know yourself that its time to change your life. I went to my doctor who referred me to my local drug service who i went to and they referred me to the alcohol problem clinic at the hospital were they deal with addictions. I was referred in may but had to wait until august to get an appointment. I had to attend the hospital for 5 weeks twice a week as they said that I had to be mentally and pysically ready for a subutex detox. I was so ready the first day I went for the detox but i was told it was an expensive detox and basically they would not give it out unless they thought you were well prepared and ready for it. I never gave up and i eventually I got my detox 3 weeks ago, I phoned and involved everyone i could (my doctor, cpn even my mum was on the phone daily asking questions why were they not giving me the subutex when i was well ready for it. My detox was 17 days on subutex which i got on nhs. Your son should go to his local drug service as they are lots in glasgow or even ask his doctor where he could go for proffesional help.
Simone sorry to read about you not getting subutex. Your on to much medication and there advice is to go up and up on methodone no wonder you feel like s***, your there for help...why cant they start reducing you until your on a low enough dose for sub? I understand totally about your son, I have a 16 year old daughter and she too caught me a few times with tin foil and It really hurt her as i would promise i would never do it again then i did. Im getting closer with her now, its not brilliant but were getting there. I hope things will settle down for you and your kids. I know it must be hard i can relate totally to your situation. What are you going do? have you to go back to the hospital?
Im on my way to a n/a meeting so i will catch up with you all later.
Hope your ok Bryn? Ive posted a few threads to you so hope all is well with you too.
Take care everyone
Yvonne x
