First Na Meeting Was Awesome

Teresa if Kat can do it so can you..... LOL Rae
look what a great job teresa did!!!! good job teresa woo woo

hehehe

~T
Tropical 1:

I am also looking forward to hearing about your second meeting. When reading the responses I am reminded that when I was using my friends and acquaintances were tenuous at best. Now, that I am living a program of recovery my relationships are much stronger. It seems most of my circle of friends are in AA. That's the way I like it. Thanks for sharing your positive experience with us.

Rachel


T......see, you're not as unskilled as you thought. That looks so much better than that "thing" that was there before! Have a happy Monday!
yeah she catches on quick huh carol?


~T


Her and GHF both did it on their 1st try in under 60 seconds!
Way to go T-Dawg... It's the new you. So glad not to look at your depressing bear anymore,LOL That bear was way to confused to be you! You guys have a great day and Carol let us know how your next meeting goes. Keep up the good work. Rae
thanks to all for helping me get rid of my 'depressed confused bear..'..... esp thanks to you carol .... as said before I appreciate it...

Happy monday to you as well..

Teresa
it is perfect for you Teresa, those colors look great on you.

Redd
I have been sneaking an occasional lurk on this site in the last few days and have been very pleased that it seems to have returned to its core purpose of helping people recover from addiction. I wrote something about my early experiences in 12 step recovery just a few days ago and I thought it might be relevant here as well.

To the person who is embittered about NA, I wish to point out that she has taken an extremely small statistical sample, and that her experience is second hand, i.e., based on that of a family member of an addict and not with respect to her own personal expererience. Having said that, for many the experience she related is very real. Many hang around the edges of AA for years. Some never get sober. Amazingly some do get sober after picking up dozens of white chips over a period of many years. Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.

To suggest that no one gets sober at AA is a slight over generalization. The Promises, which include much, much more than simply being freed from the obsession to drink and do drugs, always materialize if we work for them.


Also, when I picked up the phone and called Central Office to get the address of a meeting, I was warned not to attend one meeting in particular: it was known as the Judges Orders meeting, because the kids that attended where there under court order and had no intention of getting clean. Yup, its true, meetings vary, and some of the attendees are among the sickest in the world. Truth be told, I am probably among them. We are so good as seeing the faults of others, and often fail to recognize that they are simply resonances of out own shortcomings.

Lastly, I need to point out that in terms of the way the disease works, there is no difference between being a pill head, or shooting junk, or smoking dope, or snorting coke. We are all in the same boat. We are all just garden variety junkies, whether we just got out of Yale or just out of Jail. The big question is, how far are willing to go to get clean and stay clean. Are we willing to actually acknowledge that it takes more than our mistaken sense of will power or are we destined to repeat the past again and again as I did for nearly two decades?

It is true that AA and NA are not for everybody, it is only for those who really want to get clean and sober. If these meetings were held for everyone who needs them, they would have to hold them in large stadiums. The program only works if we really embrace it with every fiber of our being, and lots of folks only show up to pay lip service. This is why we urge newcomers to stick with the winners.

Without further adieu, here is what I wrote recently about my own early experiences.

The road to recovery is an amazing journey. It begins with admitting what we are and opening ourselves up to be teachable. It is important to take immediate action, to step outside of our old patterns. I can only relate what worked for me. I was so devastated, so very fragile when I got to this point. It was no longer a question of what I wanted to do. I became willing to listen to suggestions and to accept the guidance and fellowship of those who had gone before me.

I started with an NA meeting. It was really scary to walk into that meeting room alone that first night. When they asked if there were any newcomers, I raised my hand, and said that I was not sure if I belonged there or not, but I really wanted to learn how to get clean.

Then I sat and listened. I heard some things that I really needed to hear, probably the most important of which was that I commit to attending 90 meetings in 90 days. This seemed like an awful lot to someone who was as important as me (funny, despite being at my very bottom I still had the ego and arrogance of an addict). Nonetheless, they told me that I managed to devote at least an hour a day to my drug habit and it was only fair that I devote that much to getting sober by attending meetings. They suggested it so I did it.

They said that I could no longer drink alcohol or take any other drugs. That seemed like a drastic step, but they suggested it, so from that moment on, I never took another sip.

They told me to avoid the old faces and the old places. I did so. I told my using friends that I was quitting and those who did not respect my desire to be in a clean environment were kept at a distance. Many did respect my wishes and many are still friends of mine today. Many others fell by the wayside when their source of supply (me) dried up.

They told me to find a temporary sponsor. Someone raised his hand and offered to serve in that capacity. He spoke to me a few times but was not terribly available to me. But I kept looking and after a few weeks I found someone who was willing to work with me. He was not the perfect sponsor, but then again, I was not the perfect student.

They gave me some literature. At the time my thinking was so jumbled that I could hardly focus on what I was reading, but I read it. I still have that marked up copy of the Big Book, and when I look at the passages that I underlined, it really underscores where I was at back then.

They told me not to get too hung up on the God thing at first and to focus on getting to the meetings. I gladly accepted this advice. Funny, all of those issues resolved themselves in due course.

They told me to collect phone numbers and to use them. That was really hard. Once, I got a number and a fellow agreed to call me the next day and arrange to go to a meeting with me. He never called and I was so upset that I wanted to use. I didn't use. Instead, I went to a meeting alone and learned that recovering drug addicts have lives and that it is my responsibility to pick up the phone.

After a couple of weeks, I started going to a few different meetings. Each time, it was the same horrible scary feeling of walking into a roomful of strangers. Some of the people seemed really rude and I remember being deeply offended at what one person said to me early on (something about a drunk-a-log). I was so mad, I nearly went home and used, but I decided that I would not give that jerk power over me. I just decided to keep looking at different meetings.

At about three weeks, I found a meeting that really seemed to fit in terms of my schedule (first thing in the morning). I attended that AA meeting for several days without uttering a word, but finally a young, pretty girl caught up with me as I was hurrying out after the meeting ended. She said something that really hit home: being around the edges of AA is about the most uncomfortable place in the world. She really hit the nail on the head.

The next day, I raised my hand for the first time in that meeting. I said something to the effect that I was desperate--that there were no alternatives left for me, that this had to work. I was on the verge of tears. People started talking to me a little more after that, but to this day, I feel incredibly shy and self conscious in meetings. I often want to leave as soon as they are over because I am afraid no one will want to talk to me. Despite this, I continued with my meetings.

Yup, it was kind of tough in the beginning. My life was a bleak, barren landscape, and it took a lot of commitment to simply stay in the same place and let the grass grow green upon the scorched earth of my life. It has been so very worth it.

I picked up a 15 year chip a couple of weeks ago. For a deeply flawed program with a lot of deeply flawed people, it certainly saved my life.


Good luck.

August

August:

Thanks for sharing...

RAchel


August,
WOW! How appropriate and powerful your post is! Thank you so much for taking the time to share your story. I hope many read it and take something from it.

Have a great day and week!
hi kaela, when i first walked in the meeting i was nervous, my preconceived notion of na was a bunch of heroin or speed freaks, well over a year ago i had dropped my ex off at court ordered na meetings and i will say he didnt make it, he didnt want it only went becuz if he didnt he would go to jail, well the minute he was off parole or should i say well before he was off parole he was stealing my pills and drinking and has disappeared and is worse than ever, to be honest when i went to that meeting last night he never crossed my mind, i just got up out of the house and went to a meeting becuz now on day 8 and clean i knew i needed to be around other people who had been there and done that, some people there knew me from him, i live in a small town and a few people said he was always wired, they knew more about him than me!! They even advised me to stay away from him which i have actually been broke up more than 6 months. alot of people in the meeting spoke directly to me and i was very receptive to what i heard, becuz what i saw was peace, and people who were not using at least for that meeting. a person who had used heroin for 30 yrs said take what you want from the meetings, throw away the rest, and i saw a little of me in everyone that spoke. i know realize at how futile my attempts were to TRY and get my ex clean and sober, becuz recovery has to be inside you, he never wanted it, however i want it and i am willing to do whatever it takes and if i go to a meeting that i dont like i can always get up and leave. i am not a young girl easily impressed so going to that meeting was the best thing for me i could have done. that is just my experience. i have a formal drug program with a agency and i am self referred, i am not forced into these meetings, i willing went and i am glad i made that decision. becuz what i saw was glimmer of peace and serenity and i need to know how to get it.

take care

carol
August
as a newcomer at meetings, thank you for that post.

Redd
august.
thank you.....being apart of instead of apart from is what NA has helped me most with...

teresa

Carol, Good for you! I think you might just do very well with NA.
I wish you the best.


user posted image
i personally didn't care for the meetings most of the people there was hipacrits they smelled like booze and reecked like pot,i believe if a person wants soberity bad enough it is possible to do it on your own,i have not touched a pill in 2 months and have no desire to,unforntally it has been decied today that i am going to need another surgery,so more than likley there will be a rx for the post surgery pain,and i don't care what anyone says tylneol,motrion or any other junk pain reliever dosen't even come close to helping with shoulder surgery so i will take narcotics until the pain is gone then i start all over again,it seems like i finally start to see light at the end of the tunnel then i get my a** kicked all over again,but like i've said before what works for one might not work for another................vinny
Nice post, August.
Kerry
Carol...

I want to thank you for sharing your story about going to the meeting, today. I have thought about going to an NA meeting, in which the thought scares me to death. After reading your 2nd post, I found such comfort in all of your words that you used.... taking some, and leaving the rest. It sounds like you got SO MUCH out of the meeting, and Im proud of you for taking the step to go! I can't wait to hear how your 2nd meeting goes :) When I started to post, just 2 weeks ago I came crawling... my soul was dragging on the ground, and the people who have reached out to me has been amazing. I have been clean for 2 weeks, and Im not looking back. Im hanging around winners in my life... I know though I have a long way to go. Thanks again for sharing your post today, I felt your excitment, and keep on posting!

August.... Thanks for sharing your amazing story! Bee
Hi Carol;

I'm so glad you enjoyed your 1st NA meeting! I attend a mix of AA and NA meetings - meetings that really touch my soul and where I feel truly connected with others. For me the f2f aspect is so vital to my continued recovery. Sounds like you hit a home run right off the bat! You have no idea how much sharing your experience helps other addicts just like yourself.

Way to go!

Jim