First Time Here In Need Of Help

Hi my name is kim I think, well i am addicted to pain medication. Vicodin/percocet. Preferably perks. I guess this is my first step to getting some help. I need a place where i can talk and listen to people in the same situation and not judge and think they know everything. I do not use everyday and if i could i would. When i do have them say i have a script or whatever of like 20 oh they are gone by dys end. I have spent money that i did not have on them and also my family has suffered financially for it. I have a 12 and 15 year old and they know to an extent. I also have a recovering husband who is not very nice about sometimes but i stuck with him through 20 years of alcohol and drugs and hell. I messed up a couple of times and wow was i the villan. So if anyone can give me some words of wisdom.advice. anything i would greatly appreciate it. thanks so much in advance for your support.
OH YES BY THE WAY WHERE DO I START
Welcome Kim.
Where do you start? Well, you've admittted you have a problem so that's a start.You also said if you had more pills you would take them.At least you're being honest.How bad do you want to stop? There are several suggestions I can give you but you're probably not going to like them.

First,I would come clean with my doctor and let him know so you cut off that source.
Second,I would come clean with my husband since he has some recovery time.Is he in the program? If so,then he would understand completely.
Third,I would find out where the nearest NA meeting is in your area and go there and listen to see if you can identify.You can get support here but F2F is much better.This is just a bulletin board.

This is something that will continue to get worse if you don't stop and most addicts find out they will need help.Have you tried to quit before? There is help out there and I will post a NA website that will where the nearest meeting places will be for your area.My Webpage

Good luck and others will be along to give you some advise too.
Thank you Tim for responding. No i have not tried to stop before. I just started realizing i have a problem in the past couple of months. I probably take pills like 2-3 times a month like 10 or more a day. then all month i try to figure out how to get a couple that day. I really think about them alot. It is horrible. My husband does know because one month i spent out food money. I cried all month and felt like the worst person in the world. But when he started lecturing me ooooh i got mad at him. Only because I went thru 20 years of his hell and being patient and by his side and the first time i messed up I was the worst person in the world. I am the rock and hold the family together. I have to be there to pick up the pieces. I think it scared him when It was me who messed up. The shoes were on the other feet and he did not know what to do. There is na meetings around here I believe more aa though. But i know you can learn the same things. I dont know why but just like I am afraid to quit smoking I am also fearing not taking pills. I know it sounds crazy. My doc already cut me off. Friends give them to me when I need/want them for a better term.
I looked on your webpage and found some na meetings near by. Thank you sooo much tim. I will keep you posted. I hope I am ready. I know I have to stop before it turns into a very bad problem so I need to start now.
You are going to have some w/d's that will last about 3-4 days.It will feel like a really bad flu but there are some OTC meds that will help when you're ready.A lot of people went cold turkey on here so it's not life threatning or anything.

I'm sorry to hear that about your husband but maybe if you sit down & talk to him and let him know what you want to do,he will help you.I can't imagine him not wanting to help since he's gone through it himself.

We can help you as much as we can by supporting you through the w/d's and giving you some suggestions of what you can take to help but just be prepared to be out of comission for a few days.