So hard to even feel my fingers typing this. Our family has been basically consumer over the last 5 years with the substance abuse and behavioral health issues of our oldest child, our 19-year-old son. He's been an on and off user of pretty much everything except heroin, is a master liar and manipulator, and has drained not only our savings accounts but our emotional and in many areas physical health. He is extremely intelligent and is a sophomore at a great college that is halfway across the country from where we live, but has spiraled in the last 2 months, strange behavior and communication with us. Because of this last week my mom-radar went off big time and I flew out here Tuesday to see what was up. It's such a God thing I did because he had an almost-overdose experience Wednesday night and as a result has agreed to get into treatment. I am bringing him home tomorrow and after that it's absolutely up for grabs.
I don't have a support system at home, plan to get in family support for sure but am feeling quite desperate and scared. Would be so grateful for some interaction with anybody that might understand this.
Hey Texasmom
I'm so glad you found us. There is so many good people on here
And I would also suggest Alanon. I have been going through this 9
Years with my 21 year old. Many Rehabs and Sober livings.
He's been sober 10 days and currently in treatment. It's scarey!
More than anything...set boundaries and stand firm. And be
Careful not to enable. We are here ....any time you need to talk
Or vent.
I'm also in Texas ...,we might be neighbors lol
Hugs and Prayers
Take care
Paula
I'm so glad you found us. There is so many good people on here
And I would also suggest Alanon. I have been going through this 9
Years with my 21 year old. Many Rehabs and Sober livings.
He's been sober 10 days and currently in treatment. It's scarey!
More than anything...set boundaries and stand firm. And be
Careful not to enable. We are here ....any time you need to talk
Or vent.
I'm also in Texas ...,we might be neighbors lol
Hugs and Prayers
Take care
Paula
Thank you so much for replying Tlopez, I have been refreshing like crazy hoping somebody would, makes me feel ridiculous :) The enabling part is so hard, I can justify just about anything thinking I am helping but deep down know everything I've done so far just feeds the monster and clearly not working. I don't have anybody I'm close to that comes even close to understanding what this has been like and I haven't really sought help from any counselors for me. I feel like I have sacrified my money, health, career, almost my marriage, about everything I have and my son has zero skin in the game. If I was hearing this from a friend of mine I'd be telling them exactly the right things to do but I can't seem to do that for myself.
Has he agreed to go for help? Watch the manipulation...my
My son is a master manipulator.
There is many places in Texas and also sober livings.
My son is a master manipulator.
There is many places in Texas and also sober livings.
He has agreed he needs and will get help--for the first time in 5 years of struggling. He has a small group of friends he's made in last 2 years at college that are smart and honest with him and have told him straight out he has a problem and needs to work that s_* out and get help. It's not because Dad and I are telling him and that is so okay with me. But it's only been 2 days since he's agreed and I'm scared of the actual implementation.
He was in residential rehab as a 15 year old in Texas that we felt did a great job but here we are in pretty much same place 4 years later. So frustrating.
Hi Texasmom... I am also in Texas, Arlington to be exact. I have a haughtiest going through recovery now... or should I say Finally. She is actually moving home when she leaves rehab on Monday. She lives in KY.
Have you checked into Casey's Law? Texas doesn't have it but about 18 other states do. I am not sure where he is going to school at but if the state has it you could go that route to ensure he stay in treatment. Caseys law allows you to put him in treatment against his will... he can not check himself out. The judge can order anywhere from 30 days to 3 years depending on the severity of the case. There is one big hurdle though, at least for some people, the person who gets him treatment is responsible for the medical bill.
I will pray for him and you. Hopefully this helps! Hang in there!
Have you checked into Casey's Law? Texas doesn't have it but about 18 other states do. I am not sure where he is going to school at but if the state has it you could go that route to ensure he stay in treatment. Caseys law allows you to put him in treatment against his will... he can not check himself out. The judge can order anywhere from 30 days to 3 years depending on the severity of the case. There is one big hurdle though, at least for some people, the person who gets him treatment is responsible for the medical bill.
I will pray for him and you. Hopefully this helps! Hang in there!
Hey Scared and Texas mom
I'm in Austin....too bad we aren't closer.
It is hard when they get past 18 because now they are considered
Adults even though they have a maturity level of 14 or so. I think
The law needs to be changed when it comes to severe drug abuse.
There's help out there. My son has been to over 14 rehabs. Some
Are expensive but there are free places too. It just really depends
On how bad that want it and that's just it.....He has to want it.
We can't fix it.
Paula
I'm in Austin....too bad we aren't closer.
It is hard when they get past 18 because now they are considered
Adults even though they have a maturity level of 14 or so. I think
The law needs to be changed when it comes to severe drug abuse.
There's help out there. My son has been to over 14 rehabs. Some
Are expensive but there are free places too. It just really depends
On how bad that want it and that's just it.....He has to want it.
We can't fix it.
Paula
I am sorry you are going through this. It is very hard to know what to do. My son is 35 and he has been using for many years. He has been in several rehabs. This forum has really helped me because there are so many people that understand just exactly what you are feeling.
I saw your post on another thread about your son's great school opportunity. Sorry to say but you know in your heart he is not going to succeed in school right now. He has some work to do on himself before he can think about school. I don't know much about it but could you explain the situation to the dean and maybe they can give him a leave of abscence or something. Maybe agree to take him back later....just a thought. You might call the rehab he was in when he was 15 and see if they are affiliated with one that takes adults. Maybe since he was already in their system they could recommend a place.
I saw your post on another thread about your son's great school opportunity. Sorry to say but you know in your heart he is not going to succeed in school right now. He has some work to do on himself before he can think about school. I don't know much about it but could you explain the situation to the dean and maybe they can give him a leave of abscence or something. Maybe agree to take him back later....just a thought. You might call the rehab he was in when he was 15 and see if they are affiliated with one that takes adults. Maybe since he was already in their system they could recommend a place.
