Hey gidday Everyone
How goes the battle?.....mine is dangerous BUT its a good dangerous because i have to look back on my day and be honest.
When i was drinking i had to remember or try and remember every lie and some of them i did, some i started to live and start to believe myself and some i just plain forgot.....and yes i have kissed the blarney stone in ireland so i can bulls*** a bulls***ter but to what end.....now in recovery i have to be honest to myself and then openly honest with others which in some areas of my life can be hard, i am not an angel and dont want to be and work on these areas is ongoing as long as i am sober.
My emotions and fear( which appears as anger) can appear at the flick of a switch and in different ways. In general public these emotions are usually under guard and i am careful and this sometimes is no good in a resentful head. At home i am the lightswitch man sometimes bright and cherry and then whammo dark and dull....in seconds, then i become the ranting mumbler who tries to turn to s***e everyone elses day, im glad to say this is getting better and at times i can stop straight away and other times my head is saying stop but my mouth is still dancing the tune.
And it is all down to fear and my own insecurity as a person in recovery who is trying to discover who i really am meant to be which is why recovery is so F...ing good, there is no chance of pretence because i now have a conscience and i can no longer drown guilt in alcohol.
Keep posting , keep talking, keep praying, keep smiling and even when my lightswitch is off now, i have the candle of hope and self belief burning in my heart....Thankyou recovery and the god of my understanding and also everyone else on the journey and lastly but not least myself.
Light and love Zac
Hey Zac--thanks for sharing.
At least it still works! When I was drinking pretty much everything had gone away--didn't have any passion for anything. Your emotions are alive and manageable--think Serenity Prayer...
:)
I cite it A LOT when I'm driving...
;)
peaceness...
At least it still works! When I was drinking pretty much everything had gone away--didn't have any passion for anything. Your emotions are alive and manageable--think Serenity Prayer...
:)
I cite it A LOT when I'm driving...
;)
peaceness...
You are the awareness that is aware of exactly how you are being at any given moment, and from what you said you sound like you are pretty in touch with your self.
Have a good day dude!
Have a good day dude!
Hey Zac,
Yep, FEAR (f*** everything and run) is a common denominator of all of my character defects. So if I utilize FEAR (face everything and recover), I try to welcome the obstacles now, today, who knows how I will be tomorrow....I pray for the removal of these character defects so that I can be of maximum service to others....sometimes sobriety and recovery, for me, is so hard when I walking thru the bulls**, but it creates a big emotional growth spurt for me when I do, and come out the other side ~ hope you are well today!
Yep, FEAR (f*** everything and run) is a common denominator of all of my character defects. So if I utilize FEAR (face everything and recover), I try to welcome the obstacles now, today, who knows how I will be tomorrow....I pray for the removal of these character defects so that I can be of maximum service to others....sometimes sobriety and recovery, for me, is so hard when I walking thru the bulls**, but it creates a big emotional growth spurt for me when I do, and come out the other side ~ hope you are well today!
Hi Zac...
Good to see ya! The road is pretty smooth for me at this point in time...Just trying to take each day as it comes and when life happens, searching for the lessons in the day...I keep praying and asking my HP, God to help me keep doing the next right thing and the days seem to be going by quickly lately...
I've been doing a lot of service work lately and try to maintain my recovery, my job and my family but overall it seems each one is getting better as time goes on...
I try to stay positive and be in gratitude and today, I am happy to say, life is good....Take care, my friend and I'm so glad to see you....
xoxo
Stacey
Good to see ya! The road is pretty smooth for me at this point in time...Just trying to take each day as it comes and when life happens, searching for the lessons in the day...I keep praying and asking my HP, God to help me keep doing the next right thing and the days seem to be going by quickly lately...
I've been doing a lot of service work lately and try to maintain my recovery, my job and my family but overall it seems each one is getting better as time goes on...
I try to stay positive and be in gratitude and today, I am happy to say, life is good....Take care, my friend and I'm so glad to see you....
xoxo
Stacey
