my sister is coming down for christmas on the 18th. i haven't seen her in about 5 years. already i can tell it is effecting me. i want to drink, and worse i want to start the drugs again. i am totally freakin. i am cleaning out half the stuff in my room so it looks and there is nothing for her to steal or go through. i can't have any cash. and i probably won't even be able to get on the computer to let it all out. so i have been throughing my self into work which works to a point, but for example i called a cab and they forgot about me and i burst in to tears, cause when my sister is around i always get forgotten. i am going to get to talk to a great support though before my sisters plane comes in. i just don't want to be like this. i have been there and done it so much and i just can't do it. how i hate the holidays.
Babycakes, Breathe Girl, Breathe!!
I can see that you still have some resentment towards your sister and this is normal, but dont kill yourself over it. Talk to her. She is coming up for the holidays so use this opportunity to have a serious one to one chat with her and let her know how you feel. Does your sister use? If so then, plz make sure that you have CLEAN friends on standby in case you find yourself in a difficult and dangerous situation. Unfortunately when it comes to family i can relate in saying it difficult to stay away - however this is your sobriety thats at stake, and if you think it would be better not to see her - then i could recommend not seeing her. I know thats difficult but my sister also uses and i know i need to stay away. Remember that you are the most important person, and therefore your recovery must come first. If you feel that anxious, phone your sponsor, phone a friend that can be there for you. But what ever you do DONT pick up anything!! As we all know that one is to many and a thousand never enough!!
Best of luck, and keep your head up
Cyndi
I can see that you still have some resentment towards your sister and this is normal, but dont kill yourself over it. Talk to her. She is coming up for the holidays so use this opportunity to have a serious one to one chat with her and let her know how you feel. Does your sister use? If so then, plz make sure that you have CLEAN friends on standby in case you find yourself in a difficult and dangerous situation. Unfortunately when it comes to family i can relate in saying it difficult to stay away - however this is your sobriety thats at stake, and if you think it would be better not to see her - then i could recommend not seeing her. I know thats difficult but my sister also uses and i know i need to stay away. Remember that you are the most important person, and therefore your recovery must come first. If you feel that anxious, phone your sponsor, phone a friend that can be there for you. But what ever you do DONT pick up anything!! As we all know that one is to many and a thousand never enough!!
Best of luck, and keep your head up
Cyndi
Thanks for the pep talk. I would love to sit down and talk to her and sort things out but every time we talk we end up in a fight. Sometimes it gets physical. She is also really sick because she drank to much and I don't know what if any drugs she still does never mind has. As for staying away I can't. My mom won't let me, and plus she is staying here. I know I need to stay clean, the holidays are always the hardest. Expecially with everyone else seeming so happy and I am struggling just to stay up and happy. I just wish I had someone to talk to here and rely on when things get rough, even just someone to talk to. I just want to get away, but that is a long way down the road. This is all I got and I value all the time and support all have given me, I hope to repay it by being able to do the same for others.
Merry Christmas All
Merry Christmas All
