As many of you know I got my 90 day chip in AA the night before last.
Well, I'm ticked off now. Last night I witnessed someone in our group get a 90 day chip and I know for a fact that I have seen this person get a 24 hour chip within this 90 days. This has happened more than once in my AA group.
Another person got a 24 hour chip a few weeks ago only to get a 1 year chip a couple of days ago. What's going on? Either I don't grasp the concept of the chip system or these people are being very dishonest. I was under the impression that when a chip is given it stands for continuous sobriety, not a lapse and pick up where you left off. I have worked very hard for my 90 day chip and feel this is just a farce. It says on the chip " To Thine Own Self Be True"
Well, what's the deal? Isn't the concept of AA based on honesty? How can someone do this and live with themselves? There have been other examples of this in our group as well. Althought I don't feel this is threatening my sobriety at this time, I do however feel a loss of respect for the AA process as a whole.
I would talk to my sponsor but she is unavailable due to family illness.
I know I should only be concerned with what I'M doing but I can't help but feel a little cheated by those who exploit the AA name.
You walk in those rooms with trust, faith and hope and now I am loosing these feelings.
Thanks for letting me vent!
Any advice and explanations would be appreciated.
Trimmer
| QUOTE |
| Either I don't grasp the concept of the chip system or these people are being very dishonest... {clip}... It says on the chip " To Thine Own Self Be True" |
| QUOTE |
| I know I should only be concerned with what I'M doing but I can't help but feel a little cheated by those who exploit the AA name. |
I think you've learned a valuable lesson in other peoples' sicknesses, Trimmer. Work The Steps and find out what that lesson is. I can't change other people and the very anonymity and lack of organizational structure and demands that allows ME to work MY program allows others to lie to themselves. I've seen it right here on ARG, I've seen it in rooms, I see it in every-day life out there. It was easy to be judgemental once I'd accepted AA and the premise and I THEN figured everyone should 'get it.'
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change;
The courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference."
It's a simple program--nobody said it was easy. It's all about fixing ME so that other people's problems don't affect ME the way they used to. No, it's not easy letting other people drown. If I am going to succeed in sobriety and serenity, I need to learn to live mine and not theirs.
Talk to your sponsor AFTER you give it to your Higher Power--and don't snatch it back. I wanted everyone to drive on the highways like I do--courteous, kind, and perfect in every way. I got pissed off everytime someone didn't do what I thought they should. I'm still working on it, but I've learned through working The Program and practicing these principles in all my affairs that they no longer live in my head. I hand it over, say a quickie for 'em, and press on with my serenity.
I've learned in working The Program (Steps) that when someone's actions or attitude affects me--especially in the rooms--that there's something tugging at my fear. When I finally understood that the things that bothered me THE MOST were the things I recognized so easily in myself--and covered up so nobody else would know. The 3 fingers pointing back at me when I was pointing the finger at someone else. THESE are the things that used to keep me spiritually sick. and DRUNK.
Congratulations on 90 days!
Focus on the steps, not on what others are doing or not doing. Recovery is in the steps and traditions. Hang with the winners and pray for those that are irritating you. Work the steps, find a HP and the feelings of trust, faith and hope will be yours forever. I've found when I got to a place in my recovery where I am at peace, what other sick alcoholics do doesn't usually bug me and in turn, I actually pray for them.
I have a friend whose mantra is "I'm only as sick as my secrets".
Maybe you could attend a couple different meetings if this one group is bugging you that bad.....
Bottom line is you earned your 90 day chip, be grateful for that and keep the focus on your sobriety...
Take care,
Stacey
| QUOTE |
| You walk in those rooms with trust, faith and hope and now I am loosing these feelings. |
Focus on the steps, not on what others are doing or not doing. Recovery is in the steps and traditions. Hang with the winners and pray for those that are irritating you. Work the steps, find a HP and the feelings of trust, faith and hope will be yours forever. I've found when I got to a place in my recovery where I am at peace, what other sick alcoholics do doesn't usually bug me and in turn, I actually pray for them.
I have a friend whose mantra is "I'm only as sick as my secrets".
Maybe you could attend a couple different meetings if this one group is bugging you that bad.....
Bottom line is you earned your 90 day chip, be grateful for that and keep the focus on your sobriety...
Take care,
Stacey
Aw, Trimmer, that sucks. In AA you will meet all kinds of people. You are going to find liars and cheats and thieves and who knows what else. Not everyone is there for the same reason. That's why we say stick with the winners. Listen in meetings to hear who has what you want and stick with them. On the same note listen to people that have what you don't want and stay away from them. The way I look at it is if I were sitting in a bar I would meet a bunch of drunks with a bunch of different personalities. In AA I meet a bunch of drunks that are not drinking but many are not there to get better and work the steps because they don't know any better. They think they can keep up their old behaviors and will stay sober. It doesn't work that way. But that's on them, not you. As long as you are doing the right thing and looking for others that are doing the right thing, don't worry about the others. They'll get weeded out. Congratulations on 3 months, btw, that's awesome work. Keep it up.
smooches
smooches
By the way.
I know a bar here in town that accepts AA sobriety chips as currency, and displays them proudly.
I know a bar here in town that accepts AA sobriety chips as currency, and displays them proudly.
Oooooh! That's disgusting, skg! Shameful, really. =(
Hi MomNMore! How's BU?
Yeah, it's shameful if you're a recovering alcoholic, but if you're "out there" avoiding the inevitable Voice, it's a way to get a drink, now isn't it? Nobody said this was a glamourous disease, and there are far more bottoms to hit as I'm reminded every single day (I go to 1 meeting everyday, HP willing).
There's also an OldTimer that doesn't believe in Sobriety Chips in my home group--and I LOVE the guy. He's the Old Toad in the corner who can recite the BB front or back, and can sum up a subject in 30 seconds or less. He's got 31 years of sobriety and I see him every day. I LOVE that guy! He says, "If sobriety isn't good enough for you, go back out until is."
LOL!!!
Yeah, it's shameful if you're a recovering alcoholic, but if you're "out there" avoiding the inevitable Voice, it's a way to get a drink, now isn't it? Nobody said this was a glamourous disease, and there are far more bottoms to hit as I'm reminded every single day (I go to 1 meeting everyday, HP willing).
There's also an OldTimer that doesn't believe in Sobriety Chips in my home group--and I LOVE the guy. He's the Old Toad in the corner who can recite the BB front or back, and can sum up a subject in 30 seconds or less. He's got 31 years of sobriety and I see him every day. I LOVE that guy! He says, "If sobriety isn't good enough for you, go back out until is."
LOL!!!
| QUOTE |
| "If sobriety isn't good enough for you, go back out until is." |
I like that....course, I love the old timers, they do not enable nor sugar coat anything....
I wanna be an oldtimer when I grow up.
LOL...you're on the right track, you've got their mentality ~said in the most loving way~
Smooch
Smooch
Hey Trimmer
At the end of the day people who are cheating the program are only cheating themselves. And whatever they are doing has nothing to do with you and your program.
Sobriety isn't a competition you know.
The best thing you can do is look on it as a reminder to your self of why you need to stay sober. Drinking brings with it all the lieing and cheating and self-deception and shame and all that stuff. Look for the lesson for yourself and forget about taking their inventory.
It doesn't take long to figure out who is serious in their recovery and who isn't. Seek out those who are and develop relationships with them.
Also, the suggestion of trying other meetings is a good one.
I try to attend a variety of meetings. Some that have good spirituality and recovery, but also I got to a couple that tend to be a bit raw and in your face. Because its good for me to be reminded of what it can be like out there, to see the places I could end up if I pick up a drink. But I do need the balance too.
At the end of the day people who are cheating the program are only cheating themselves. And whatever they are doing has nothing to do with you and your program.
Sobriety isn't a competition you know.
The best thing you can do is look on it as a reminder to your self of why you need to stay sober. Drinking brings with it all the lieing and cheating and self-deception and shame and all that stuff. Look for the lesson for yourself and forget about taking their inventory.
It doesn't take long to figure out who is serious in their recovery and who isn't. Seek out those who are and develop relationships with them.
Also, the suggestion of trying other meetings is a good one.
I try to attend a variety of meetings. Some that have good spirituality and recovery, but also I got to a couple that tend to be a bit raw and in your face. Because its good for me to be reminded of what it can be like out there, to see the places I could end up if I pick up a drink. But I do need the balance too.
Great post, Idgie. My daughter told me last night that she hasn't called her sponsor in two months and hasn't been to a meeting in a couple of weeks. She said that though she she knows she needs to go, lately her meetings feel like "lip service" - everyone talking and complaining and saying all the 'right' things - but not recovery. I just listened and didn't give her any feedback, I figure she knows all the right stuff anyway. I hope she works this out for herself, meetings have been an important part of her recovery.
Peace~MomNMore
Peace~MomNMore
Gidday Trimmer
Can you ask the secretary or chairperson of the meeting about there take on it?
Whenever i get annoyed i have to pause then think on it and ask and keep asking because that way the headspace doesnt do a number on me
light and love Zac
Can you ask the secretary or chairperson of the meeting about there take on it?
Whenever i get annoyed i have to pause then think on it and ask and keep asking because that way the headspace doesnt do a number on me
light and love Zac
Mum n More
I hope your daughter sorts things out - from what you've described it sounds like the real problem is something with her and not with the meetings.
Hopefully she will figure this out and get back to one soon. One thing I have found from my own experience is that the longer you stay away the harder it is to go back.
Just on the original topic - I guess I'm wondering what the problem is here - I don't know what these chips are - not something we have in AA over here. So from what I've read on this board they sound like a piece of plastic. If that's the case, and you strip all the side issues away and symbolism etc - then you are getting upset about a piece of plastic. Hardly seems worth it.
The BB says that their are persons who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves, and that it is not their fault they were born that way.
So if you are interested in the AA program I'd say that reference in the Big Book is AA's answer to how that situation should be viewed.
I hope your daughter sorts things out - from what you've described it sounds like the real problem is something with her and not with the meetings.
Hopefully she will figure this out and get back to one soon. One thing I have found from my own experience is that the longer you stay away the harder it is to go back.
Just on the original topic - I guess I'm wondering what the problem is here - I don't know what these chips are - not something we have in AA over here. So from what I've read on this board they sound like a piece of plastic. If that's the case, and you strip all the side issues away and symbolism etc - then you are getting upset about a piece of plastic. Hardly seems worth it.
The BB says that their are persons who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves, and that it is not their fault they were born that way.
So if you are interested in the AA program I'd say that reference in the Big Book is AA's answer to how that situation should be viewed.
My Sponsor reminds me that some are sicker than others on the Program and some folks are not "wrapped all that tightly" ~ she reminds me that it is none of my business how someone is running their Program....I just need take care of me and that's it....she suggests I just stay out of the way, even with my kids which is really hard! But, I'm getting better!
There's only one scorekeeper.
He's cheering you on, and He loves you whatever the score.
He's cheering you on, and He loves you whatever the score.
