Diff,
Yesterday I was out at my friends house with my partner. They had a house-full of people and my partner kicked off with me for nagging him. He threw my daughters pushchair and it just missed me, he then walked towards me and I really thought he was going to punch me. He was raging and shouting at me and told me to get in the house NOW. Like a little kid I walked into the house, he even told me where to sit and I did. The reason I am telling you this is because I would like to ask you a question.......Do you find that the mental abuse is actually worse than the physical??? I think I would actually prefer to get punched than being scared and not knowing what he is going to do?
I really thought this was it for us two, that we had finally resolved our problems and moved forward, and after everything I have done for him, i,e, suuported him through his addiction and been there for him when no one else has and he goes and throws a paddy. It was because he hadnt had his SMOKE!!
Is this whats it is going to be like when he finally does come off the gear? Moody, depressed and dam right aggressive??
He told me he was sick of my moaning and bitching and I told him if he dont like it he can f*ck off.
I have told him how he controls me when he gets mad. The silly thing is he dont actually think he is. My body was shaking top to bottom with fear. He has only really hit me once, but another time he grabbed me by the mouth and threw things at me, has slapped me but not in the fact and also spat at me. This was all before the addiction. I hate this addiction but I suppose I am getting axious as to whether or not he is going to go back to that nasty piece of sh*t I was with before because was ready to walk then. It aint gonna take much for me to walk this time bacause I know I have done more than I possibly can and if he dont appreciate it or respect me then he has to go.
Why do we put up with this sh*t??
I even started counciling 2 weeks ago but only ever made it to one appointment as I have no one to watch the baby!
Anyway thanks for reading. Take care.
Love Lyndsay aka BunnyRocker xx
Oh Lyndsay, I've been there so many times. And to give you the short answer to your question, yes, I'd rather be hit than take all the emotional abuse. At leasr if they hit you, they normally feel sufficiently ashamed to at least apologise and behave themselves for a while afterwards. The emotionally s*** is so "wooly" - we have a hard time trying to explain to them how bad it make us feel. At least if a man hits you, a definate line has been crossed. All men know they shouldn't hit their woman.
The first time he was violent with me came 3 months after I moved in with him. Almost as soon as I moved in the emotional s***, the bullying, the putting me down, controlling me started. When It finally got physical it was a relief, strangely enough. But I was so naieve. After throwing the tv at me, breaking a bone in my knee and holding me captive for over an hour whilst he threw just about everything that wasn't nailed down in the room at me, and screaming obscenities that I could hardly believe at me, he got down on his knees and cried, begging me for forgiveness, telling me he loved me (and he'd never told me he loved me before), promising me he'd never hurt me again. And I totally fell for it, fool that I am. It was worth the violence, just to hear him saying that he loved me, just to see him beg me not to leave.
If you hold out any hope for your relationship, you have to make him see that treating you the way he did was completely unacceptable. You have to tell him that he crossed a line, and you won't stick around if he does it again. For God's sake don't do what I did and forgive and forget, because abuse just escalates, and before you know it, they'll be battering you whenever they feel like it, launching verbal assaults, picking on you, hurting you, running your self esteem into the ground, treating you like a complete idiot, making you feel so worthless and sad, and after a while they don't even bother saying sorry. No matter how much you give, no matter how much you try and please, it just gets worse and worse.
Some men are extremely clever at manipulation, and they can turn anything round to make it look like it was your fault, not theirs. Don't fall for it. My boyfriend says stuff like "You don't know how hurtful you are when you say blah-blah. You bring out the worst in me..." I was dead surprised when he said that, coz I hate lashing out indescriminately. I've done that before, said the most dreadful things to people, and I'm left with an overwhelming feeling of guilt. So I learned to stick to the facts when I'm arguing. If I called him a scummy woman beater, then it's because he is one, not because I'm trying to be hurtful. Truth hurts... But sometimes he says something to me, really nasty, and it cuts to the quick. Later he says "I didn't mean that, I only said it to hurt you." Like that's an acceptable excuse! He says stuff like I get upset too easily, I'm too sensitive, I shouldn't take what he says to heart. It's subtle. He's shifting the blame onto me and away from him. Men like him make you feel like it's never their fault for hurting you, it's your fault for feeling the pain.
I got no room to talk, but to be honest, I reckon you're onto a loser here. I know my man is a twat, but at least he ain't a junkie as well...
take care
love
Diff xxx
The first time he was violent with me came 3 months after I moved in with him. Almost as soon as I moved in the emotional s***, the bullying, the putting me down, controlling me started. When It finally got physical it was a relief, strangely enough. But I was so naieve. After throwing the tv at me, breaking a bone in my knee and holding me captive for over an hour whilst he threw just about everything that wasn't nailed down in the room at me, and screaming obscenities that I could hardly believe at me, he got down on his knees and cried, begging me for forgiveness, telling me he loved me (and he'd never told me he loved me before), promising me he'd never hurt me again. And I totally fell for it, fool that I am. It was worth the violence, just to hear him saying that he loved me, just to see him beg me not to leave.
If you hold out any hope for your relationship, you have to make him see that treating you the way he did was completely unacceptable. You have to tell him that he crossed a line, and you won't stick around if he does it again. For God's sake don't do what I did and forgive and forget, because abuse just escalates, and before you know it, they'll be battering you whenever they feel like it, launching verbal assaults, picking on you, hurting you, running your self esteem into the ground, treating you like a complete idiot, making you feel so worthless and sad, and after a while they don't even bother saying sorry. No matter how much you give, no matter how much you try and please, it just gets worse and worse.
Some men are extremely clever at manipulation, and they can turn anything round to make it look like it was your fault, not theirs. Don't fall for it. My boyfriend says stuff like "You don't know how hurtful you are when you say blah-blah. You bring out the worst in me..." I was dead surprised when he said that, coz I hate lashing out indescriminately. I've done that before, said the most dreadful things to people, and I'm left with an overwhelming feeling of guilt. So I learned to stick to the facts when I'm arguing. If I called him a scummy woman beater, then it's because he is one, not because I'm trying to be hurtful. Truth hurts... But sometimes he says something to me, really nasty, and it cuts to the quick. Later he says "I didn't mean that, I only said it to hurt you." Like that's an acceptable excuse! He says stuff like I get upset too easily, I'm too sensitive, I shouldn't take what he says to heart. It's subtle. He's shifting the blame onto me and away from him. Men like him make you feel like it's never their fault for hurting you, it's your fault for feeling the pain.
I got no room to talk, but to be honest, I reckon you're onto a loser here. I know my man is a twat, but at least he ain't a junkie as well...
take care
love
Diff xxx
May I
Well I am going to anyway.
I live this, my husband is weaning down from sub. I watched that flat out kick more then once, I watched the insanity of being out and craving, all the madness in the head..
Is my husband moody at times sure is. Does he throw things at me, no f*cking way. This is unacceptable behavior. You are not a punching bag in anothers frustration. You deserve to be treated better. Just because someone is in wd, out, or even just them so called normal people having a bad day it doesnt give them the right to take it out on anyone. And if anyone allows that, well what would they expect to get.....
The nagging well, some would say doesnt matter what we do.but see I am me, and you know what if you are up his a** trying to control his life then well you need help. This is his life in retrospect, not yours even if you are working at a partnership he is still his own man. Doesnt justify at all what he did as he should have talked to you about your behavior, not threw things, dirrected hurtful words to you or used that as an excuse for any evilness show by him..
His life to choose what it is, and how he wants to live, your life as well to choose how you want to live.
If you want this to work, well it has to be you working your side, him working his and you dont cross the line to help him. He doesnt need help, reminders, fixinghe is capable of finding the way all on his own. To support an love so different then taking control and wanting it just how you see it..
He hit you once not a good sign. He grabbed you up, has you scared. Is this the life you saw for yourself? It is worth living like this and to be scared? You doing that walking on eggshells to keep the peace? Not a good thing for anyones soul.
Sadly reading and hearing that most of the worst happening before addiction, I want to scream run. But the choice is yours not mine, and this life is your. What do you really truly want from life for YOU, just you..and do you see him in this bringing happiness and peace, or pain and heartache?
You asked..Why do we put up with this sh*t??
You are only a victim once, after that you are willing participant in the game. I would ask why do You put up with this....maybe the answe ryou really need lies right there....think about it.
Take good care of you,
Love,
Tina
Well I am going to anyway.
I live this, my husband is weaning down from sub. I watched that flat out kick more then once, I watched the insanity of being out and craving, all the madness in the head..
Is my husband moody at times sure is. Does he throw things at me, no f*cking way. This is unacceptable behavior. You are not a punching bag in anothers frustration. You deserve to be treated better. Just because someone is in wd, out, or even just them so called normal people having a bad day it doesnt give them the right to take it out on anyone. And if anyone allows that, well what would they expect to get.....
The nagging well, some would say doesnt matter what we do.but see I am me, and you know what if you are up his a** trying to control his life then well you need help. This is his life in retrospect, not yours even if you are working at a partnership he is still his own man. Doesnt justify at all what he did as he should have talked to you about your behavior, not threw things, dirrected hurtful words to you or used that as an excuse for any evilness show by him..
His life to choose what it is, and how he wants to live, your life as well to choose how you want to live.
If you want this to work, well it has to be you working your side, him working his and you dont cross the line to help him. He doesnt need help, reminders, fixinghe is capable of finding the way all on his own. To support an love so different then taking control and wanting it just how you see it..
He hit you once not a good sign. He grabbed you up, has you scared. Is this the life you saw for yourself? It is worth living like this and to be scared? You doing that walking on eggshells to keep the peace? Not a good thing for anyones soul.
Sadly reading and hearing that most of the worst happening before addiction, I want to scream run. But the choice is yours not mine, and this life is your. What do you really truly want from life for YOU, just you..and do you see him in this bringing happiness and peace, or pain and heartache?
You asked..Why do we put up with this sh*t??
You are only a victim once, after that you are willing participant in the game. I would ask why do You put up with this....maybe the answe ryou really need lies right there....think about it.
Take good care of you,
Love,
Tina
Dearest Diff,
Your daughter is an absolute princess! Probably the only prize that would measure up to what you have been through and overcome.
I continue to subscribe myself to you as your biggest fan, and I know only too well that wrapping our minds around certain things in life just plain takes time, Some times other things must simply come firsst - like getting aclamated to life with a new born....and while I sincerely KNOW all this it still pains me to see you accept this situation with your man, excuse him, excuse your self....and its not alright Diff, its just not alright.
How long ago was it that you had the talk that you would be travelling round for a bit until you got your new home? And whatever happened to the apartment you were on the waiting list for?
And how on heavens sweet earth do you justify a saying like " he maybe a beater but at least he is not a junkie"? Pulled by a loved one into the midst of addiction by their loved one would probably live just fine with heroin.....its the unaccatable behaviour that comes along with it - such as abuse....in whatever form it comes that people cant live with.
I know how daunting it is to start thinking of life on your own with a little one to care for, to feed and protect might be, and I reeeeeeeaaaaalllllyyy know how all the bad can simply hide itself away when you spend a few minutes watching the man that you still somehow love holding, playing and girgling with a baby and how that can convince you for entire periods of time that its worth staying with him.....for the baby. And I know all the secret hope that comes with that one scene. I know how easy it becomes to believe that it might be worth holding on for the baby's sake.....and to keep telling yourself that its o.k cause he will never harm her - and she will never know what you have come to know....
But DIff there are no limits for a man who throws a television set at another person, and I think you know this.......
And your man - he may not be a junkie, but you have alluded in no uncertain terms to the fact that he is out of control with booze and the name we generally give that is an alcoholic - so dont let yourself be lulled into this once again, dont let this be your daughters life. She is soaking it all in you know.
I say this not to pick at you but because I so, so, so wish so much more for such deserving, wonderful amazing woman who has captured every person who has come across her on this site!
All the Best,
Your daughter is an absolute princess! Probably the only prize that would measure up to what you have been through and overcome.
I continue to subscribe myself to you as your biggest fan, and I know only too well that wrapping our minds around certain things in life just plain takes time, Some times other things must simply come firsst - like getting aclamated to life with a new born....and while I sincerely KNOW all this it still pains me to see you accept this situation with your man, excuse him, excuse your self....and its not alright Diff, its just not alright.
How long ago was it that you had the talk that you would be travelling round for a bit until you got your new home? And whatever happened to the apartment you were on the waiting list for?
And how on heavens sweet earth do you justify a saying like " he maybe a beater but at least he is not a junkie"? Pulled by a loved one into the midst of addiction by their loved one would probably live just fine with heroin.....its the unaccatable behaviour that comes along with it - such as abuse....in whatever form it comes that people cant live with.
I know how daunting it is to start thinking of life on your own with a little one to care for, to feed and protect might be, and I reeeeeeeaaaaalllllyyy know how all the bad can simply hide itself away when you spend a few minutes watching the man that you still somehow love holding, playing and girgling with a baby and how that can convince you for entire periods of time that its worth staying with him.....for the baby. And I know all the secret hope that comes with that one scene. I know how easy it becomes to believe that it might be worth holding on for the baby's sake.....and to keep telling yourself that its o.k cause he will never harm her - and she will never know what you have come to know....
But DIff there are no limits for a man who throws a television set at another person, and I think you know this.......
And your man - he may not be a junkie, but you have alluded in no uncertain terms to the fact that he is out of control with booze and the name we generally give that is an alcoholic - so dont let yourself be lulled into this once again, dont let this be your daughters life. She is soaking it all in you know.
I say this not to pick at you but because I so, so, so wish so much more for such deserving, wonderful amazing woman who has captured every person who has come across her on this site!
All the Best,
Thanks Diff and Mistyeyes for your comments. I dont wanna say anything in his defence but things did start to get better and I no myself from a past relationship that once you let it happen once it happens again.
My partner assures me that he will never raise his hands to me again and I guess I wanna believe him but when he shouts... although he assures me he wont hit me I still shake with fear, is it fear that he is going to hit me or just fear of him shouting???? Who knows but I know it hurts.
He did drag me down many months ago and I had no confidence and it wasnt untill this heroin problem that I built my confidence right back up and thought you know what I am too good for this d*** head. Since he has confided in me he has really opened up and we have became closer than ever before. We have done more, shared more laughs, had no arguments...I could say things were pretty perfect but nothing is perfect. Anyway I am just so gutted that he shouted at me like this again. The words "your fu**ed up came out of his mouth, I am an emotional wreck, a mess, crazy, I need help". Thing is I wont let them words get to me again because I no I am none of these and I do deserve better.
Diff, my partner did appologise for shouting where as he never did before, but this doesnt make it any better. He has been sucking up to me like mad since it happened. One of the reasons apparently why he took heroin in the first place was cos he couldnt face the fact that he had hit me and treat me the way he did, along with other complications which I wont go into. Typical blaming anything but himself for his actions eh? I am still not sure what I am going to do??? I know I dont have to do anything that I dont want to and I know that this is my life and he aint ever gone control it again! I explained to him last night that if he ever does shout at me, raise his hands or even try to control me that we have to be adult enough to walk away from each and accept that were just not meant to be. To be honest if it werent for his honesty I would be well rid by now, but because he has been honest we have been able to do more together and I feel like I love him all over again.
God I only know from my past what I should do but for some reason the same thing goes through my head over and over....just one more chance. Maybe I am a fool, maybe this is the life I choose??? Who knows but only time will tell. One thing I do know is that I wont take no s*** like that again. Thats a promise. I deserve more, I am better than that and I dont take no sh*t from no MAN. He has had his problems and I have stood by him through thick and thin and if he cant respect me enough for that and treat me the way I deserve then he's a gonner!!
Thanks once again for your advise and hope that things get better for you!
Love Lyndsay xx
My partner assures me that he will never raise his hands to me again and I guess I wanna believe him but when he shouts... although he assures me he wont hit me I still shake with fear, is it fear that he is going to hit me or just fear of him shouting???? Who knows but I know it hurts.
He did drag me down many months ago and I had no confidence and it wasnt untill this heroin problem that I built my confidence right back up and thought you know what I am too good for this d*** head. Since he has confided in me he has really opened up and we have became closer than ever before. We have done more, shared more laughs, had no arguments...I could say things were pretty perfect but nothing is perfect. Anyway I am just so gutted that he shouted at me like this again. The words "your fu**ed up came out of his mouth, I am an emotional wreck, a mess, crazy, I need help". Thing is I wont let them words get to me again because I no I am none of these and I do deserve better.
Diff, my partner did appologise for shouting where as he never did before, but this doesnt make it any better. He has been sucking up to me like mad since it happened. One of the reasons apparently why he took heroin in the first place was cos he couldnt face the fact that he had hit me and treat me the way he did, along with other complications which I wont go into. Typical blaming anything but himself for his actions eh? I am still not sure what I am going to do??? I know I dont have to do anything that I dont want to and I know that this is my life and he aint ever gone control it again! I explained to him last night that if he ever does shout at me, raise his hands or even try to control me that we have to be adult enough to walk away from each and accept that were just not meant to be. To be honest if it werent for his honesty I would be well rid by now, but because he has been honest we have been able to do more together and I feel like I love him all over again.
God I only know from my past what I should do but for some reason the same thing goes through my head over and over....just one more chance. Maybe I am a fool, maybe this is the life I choose??? Who knows but only time will tell. One thing I do know is that I wont take no s*** like that again. Thats a promise. I deserve more, I am better than that and I dont take no sh*t from no MAN. He has had his problems and I have stood by him through thick and thin and if he cant respect me enough for that and treat me the way I deserve then he's a gonner!!
Thanks once again for your advise and hope that things get better for you!
Love Lyndsay xx
Hi Lyndsay - I dunno, maybe I'm just jaded, but I seen too much of this s***e. You're doing exactly what I do. Make excuses, tell yourself things are OK, make out you're not a victim. It's true what everyone says - I'm not merely a victim, but a participant in this messed up game. When things are bad, I tell myself that I'm leaving in the morning. Many times I've walked out after an argument, but when I come home to "get my stuff" I already know what's going to happen. He'll make me a cup of tea, which I refuse. I sound off at him, telling him that he's a complete s***, and tell him that I can't go on like this. He'll talk me round, I drink the tea and it's all back to how it used to be. Sometimes the peace lasts for weeks, and other times I got fresh bruises by nightfall. I play my part.
The problem is, it isn't all unmitigated torture. He's given me some f***ing awful times, he's hurt me worse than anybody in my life has hurt me, but sometimes it's beautiful, sometimes he makes me love him, sometimes he makes me happy. Other times he makes me feel like I don't want to live. He knows what I want, what I need to hear from him, and he gives me just enough of it to give me hope. He adheres to a "treat 'em mean keep 'em keen" stand point. And I guess it works to a degree. Just like abuse works to a degree. But it does eventually get to a point where it's "treat 'em mean and they walk out an leave you...". Unfortunately he has an uncanny ability to know when I'm at that point, and manages to turn it around at the last minute. But none of this changes the fact that he is savage in his cruelty, both emotional (the worst type) and physical. The worst he ever made me feel was when I was heavily pregnant, and he was carrying on (I still don't know to what extent, but there were slushy texts and clandestine phone calls and meetings) with some slag, and I confronted him about it and he used it to taunt me. I asked him just to tell me if he loved me, and he said he didn't know, and went on about how attractive this girl was, and how much he loved her "as a friend". When I found out that having given me all this crap about how Valentines day was bollocks, and going out all day on Feb 14th without giving me so much as a kiss on the cheek, I discovered he'd been sending her loved up valentines messages, and been getting them back as well. It was too much, and I just walked out whilst he was asleep. I really didn't want to be with him any more. I guess I'm still not over that. It goes on in my head a lot. I have nightmares about that. Catching him with her, and all he does is laugh at me.
OK. enough moaning! I just wouldn't want you to go through the same thing...
love
Diff xxx
The problem is, it isn't all unmitigated torture. He's given me some f***ing awful times, he's hurt me worse than anybody in my life has hurt me, but sometimes it's beautiful, sometimes he makes me love him, sometimes he makes me happy. Other times he makes me feel like I don't want to live. He knows what I want, what I need to hear from him, and he gives me just enough of it to give me hope. He adheres to a "treat 'em mean keep 'em keen" stand point. And I guess it works to a degree. Just like abuse works to a degree. But it does eventually get to a point where it's "treat 'em mean and they walk out an leave you...". Unfortunately he has an uncanny ability to know when I'm at that point, and manages to turn it around at the last minute. But none of this changes the fact that he is savage in his cruelty, both emotional (the worst type) and physical. The worst he ever made me feel was when I was heavily pregnant, and he was carrying on (I still don't know to what extent, but there were slushy texts and clandestine phone calls and meetings) with some slag, and I confronted him about it and he used it to taunt me. I asked him just to tell me if he loved me, and he said he didn't know, and went on about how attractive this girl was, and how much he loved her "as a friend". When I found out that having given me all this crap about how Valentines day was bollocks, and going out all day on Feb 14th without giving me so much as a kiss on the cheek, I discovered he'd been sending her loved up valentines messages, and been getting them back as well. It was too much, and I just walked out whilst he was asleep. I really didn't want to be with him any more. I guess I'm still not over that. It goes on in my head a lot. I have nightmares about that. Catching him with her, and all he does is laugh at me.
OK. enough moaning! I just wouldn't want you to go through the same thing...
love
Diff xxx
Diff,
Its obviouse from your posts that we are infact going through a similar thing but infact you have had it so much worse than me and my heart goes out to you. Mine is more emotional than physical. Its the fear of physical and that hurts him. He has never raised his hands to a girl before and is digusted in himself for doing it. He cannot control his temoer though and thats where the problem lies.
I think with you, he has cheated, beaten you, mentally abused you etc. I feel your pain because there was times with my ex where is used to physically knock myself out just to get away from the torture. I had serious mental problems because of him.
He is a fantastic father, never goes out, never ever would cheat on me, takes me out places, buys me the best gifts, anything I want I can have, to him I am the best thing ever. He tells me everyday how good I look, how much he loves me. He wakes up and has pannick attacks if he dont wake up with me beside him...even if subconsciously he knows I am only in the next room. Its kind of sweet knowing how much he loves me and I really do love him...obviously to the extent that I put up with what I do.
I wanna believe that he aint ever gonna shout at me like that again and I suppose I am gutted that he done it yesterday because it had been months since he last done it.
I also know what you mean about setting your heart on leaving and then when the next time comes round there is an excuse or he persuades you that things are gonna change. He has always said if I wanted him to leave he would go. Only time he has made things difficut and begged to come back is since he has been using the gear.
I suppose each day goes by and I just concentrate on my daughter and her happiness, and then I think about myself. I am happy most of the time. I dont think anyone is happy all of the time and no relationship is perfect. Mental abuse happens in almost most households and the men/woman dont even know they are doing it. I just sit and think how lucky I am because things could be worse.
Anyway also my moan over. Its great talking/emailing/posting to ya. Take care of yourself and that lovely baby of yours and keep strong.
Oh yeh could you also let me know how I upload pictures because I would like to put some on here of my daughter?
Many thanks...Lyndsay x
p.s. How old are you and how long have you been with your partner?
Its obviouse from your posts that we are infact going through a similar thing but infact you have had it so much worse than me and my heart goes out to you. Mine is more emotional than physical. Its the fear of physical and that hurts him. He has never raised his hands to a girl before and is digusted in himself for doing it. He cannot control his temoer though and thats where the problem lies.
I think with you, he has cheated, beaten you, mentally abused you etc. I feel your pain because there was times with my ex where is used to physically knock myself out just to get away from the torture. I had serious mental problems because of him.
He is a fantastic father, never goes out, never ever would cheat on me, takes me out places, buys me the best gifts, anything I want I can have, to him I am the best thing ever. He tells me everyday how good I look, how much he loves me. He wakes up and has pannick attacks if he dont wake up with me beside him...even if subconsciously he knows I am only in the next room. Its kind of sweet knowing how much he loves me and I really do love him...obviously to the extent that I put up with what I do.
I wanna believe that he aint ever gonna shout at me like that again and I suppose I am gutted that he done it yesterday because it had been months since he last done it.
I also know what you mean about setting your heart on leaving and then when the next time comes round there is an excuse or he persuades you that things are gonna change. He has always said if I wanted him to leave he would go. Only time he has made things difficut and begged to come back is since he has been using the gear.
I suppose each day goes by and I just concentrate on my daughter and her happiness, and then I think about myself. I am happy most of the time. I dont think anyone is happy all of the time and no relationship is perfect. Mental abuse happens in almost most households and the men/woman dont even know they are doing it. I just sit and think how lucky I am because things could be worse.
Anyway also my moan over. Its great talking/emailing/posting to ya. Take care of yourself and that lovely baby of yours and keep strong.
Oh yeh could you also let me know how I upload pictures because I would like to put some on here of my daughter?
Many thanks...Lyndsay x
p.s. How old are you and how long have you been with your partner?
i just got out of a relationship that was violent not so long ago
i prefered the beatings to the verbal it was easier then haveing to sit there and listen to how worthless you are.
i prefered the beatings to the verbal it was easier then haveing to sit there and listen to how worthless you are.
He can tell me how worthless I am but I know different. There hasnt really ben beating, just a punch and a few things rhwon at me in temper. Its the mental and it is worse than a beating.
Well done for getting free.
Lyndsay
Well done for getting free.
Lyndsay
