For My Late Son

I originally posted this on the Heroin Board but was encouraged by two kind souls,Dora and Bob B. to post it on this site as well.


I don't know what heroin feels like but i know how it felt to hold the lifeless body of my young son that heroin stole from me and i felt angry cheated and that my heart had broken in two. He had been home from rehab for about 2 months and he had been doing so well and we (my husband and i) had been so proud of him and my son was enthusiastic about getting his life back together again.

One evening about a year ago i remember calling upstairs to my son for him to come to the dinner table but he didn't answer right away as he usually did and something told me (call it a mother's sixth sense) that something was wrong.

I found him on the floor of his bedroom,his needle lay beside him. The look in his sightless eyes was one of astonishment almost as if in his last moments of life he realized that the drug of his dreams delivered him up to the nightmare of his untimely death.

I probably haven't answered your question properly and it is painful to relive these sorrowful memories but please concentrate on what better things there are out there to wonder about and experience.

Let us pray for our sons and daughters who
are still struggling
Anothersadmom



























Dear Anothersadmom, Thank you for posting here. It makes some of us feel less lonely. My late bf had gone to detox a month and 1/2 before his death, he didn't resist when his sister and I brought him. He trusted us. Somewhere I know he wanted to be clean, deep down inside.... It sounds like your son really tried, I know no words can change it. I am thinking of you.... Dora
Oh my God! I am so very sorry. You have lived the nightmare that I keep praying to avoid. Tears are streaming down my face as I read your post and reply to it. My heart aches for you. I will keep you in my prayers. Please pray for my 29 year old son Harry that he is able to recover from his heroin addiction. God bless!

Love,
Susan
Anothersadmom,

I am so sad to hear about the death of your son from heroin. I lost my son last year on August 11th from a heroin overdose at the age of 21. A month after his 21st birthday. His story is posted in this website:

http://addictionrecoveryguide.com/m...=ST&f=22&t=5800

How are you approaching your grief recovery?

There is no right or wrong way.

I find this board aids me in my recover by talking about my son and helping others where guidance may be of use to others.

How long was your struggle? How old was your son? How long ago did your son die. I am an understanding ear.

I am praying for your son and you and your husband. Although I can say I know what you are going through I can't say exactly because everybody handles grief differently.

I am starting to heal. But through a number of approaches: a grief recovery class, this website, friends and family, going to visit my sons grave, talking to his friends, seeing a medium. Going to his NA meetings. Keeping his room intact and his car. Going to compassionate friends, an organization of parents of bereaved children. It is a combination of things that help me.

God Bless,

Phil

P.S.

I also received comfort from posting my sons story on a number of websites:

1) The heroin wall of death, my son is David Phillip Talarico on column 14. Click on frames.

http://www.ourwall.net/

2) Find a Grave.com - I found this by accident. I looked him up on Google. People do this as a hobby. I finished the website.

http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/f...lip%20Talarico&

3) Finally, David's story is listed in the Memorial section of the Partnership for a Drug Free America:

http://www.drugfree.org/Portal/Memo...David_Phillip_T

Also, I noticed you said your son died a year ago. February is not a pretty month for me either. My sons 6 month anniversary of his death is on February 11th. The one year anniversary when I found out he was on heroin is on February 17th. It has been one hellish year for me.

God Bless,

Phil

Dear Phil,

Again I cry from reading your story. I'm so sorry for all the pain you have had to endure!

Love,
Susan
I hate this drug and the people making billions off it while it's costing our kids their lives. Afghanistan is supposed to have a bumper crop of poppy this year - our lovely senators don't want to give the DEA money to perform an aerial spray to try to destroy some of this crop - they don't want to alienate the "farmers" and p*** them off with elections coming up.

Check it out:

http://www.concordmonitor.com/apps/...317/1013/NEWS03

You might find these articles interesting as well - some shocking:

http://www.csdp.org/news/news/newsnotes.htm



Dear Phil Dora Susan and others who have responded to my recent thread. I stumbled across this website quite by accident and found when i started reading the various posts by so many who have lost loved ones to this heinous drug and those who have loved ones who are still struggling, my heart wasn't large enough to encompass and absorb all the sadness and tragedy felt by so many.
My son Tim was twenty-two at the time of his death. He was my whole world to me and my heart still feels too small to even embrace his loss alone. I want you to know that i both cherish and feel honored that you have shared your stories and pain with me. Your loved ones, as was my son Tim, were and are not merely statistics but those near and dear to us and their deaths or current struggles touch each and everyone of us personally.

I am sorry but it is very hard for me to continue right now but i wanted to acknowledge your kindness and let you know that you are in my prayers.

Irene
Bless your heart, Irene. You and your son Tim are in my thoughts and prayers!

Love,
Susan
Dear Irene,

I know the days where it feels as though you have no choice, though do not grieve alone (completely). I know that I don't want to! I can't, it's too much... There seems to be so many layers to my late bf's life and death, that this is also a place, besides my family I can talk about it openly.

Your son was very young, and I am sorry that his life has been taken so soon...... It hurts to hear that my late bf is now part of that (f***king) statistic.... Though I, his family, my family, his friends will always miss him, & love him for who he was, & who he will always be. That is how he will be remembered. Not as a number.

I am sending you comfort and peace....
Dora