Tomorrow is my son's 12th b-day and my daughter's is on the 25th. I really wanted to get off the pp's by their b-days. Well, I know I'm not exactly there, but I started sub yesterday and no pp's since sat. night. I've had two counseling sessions and I feel fairly good physically and mentally. I'm doing better in the one month I've come on the board then I've done in 3 years. Even when I quit the pills for 5 1/2 months. I wasn't prepared or supported mentally then and that makes such a huge difference. Last night my son said "mom, what's going on? You are acting like the mom we used to have" You don't know what that did for me. I didn't think my kids really noticed a big change in me while I was using, but darn kids pick up everything! I am so glad that I now atleast resemble the mother they had and It's only been a couple of days. Things are definatley better! I can't wait to see how much better things are going to get!
Rhonda, That is great! If that's not enough to keep you motivated, not sure what it would take, huh?
My son is 11, he'll be 12 in Nov., and those little guys are amazing! Still little boys, but tettering on the brink of growing up, it's so sad for me to see my baby becoming an adult. He started middle school last week, and it really hit me that he's not a baby anymore...
Anyway, good luck, you are on the right track! Just keep doing it one day at a time, and things are going to start looking up every where you look. Promise. (((((hugs))))
Awe...thanks Carol..........I just can't believe he is almost a teenager. Our school moved the 6th grade to Jr. high school last year so he started middle school then, but to say he is in the 7th grade now is so strange. I wish they didn't grow up so fast. I feel like I lost 3 years of their life by my little "sidetrack", but I'm going to make up for lost time!!! And you are so right...that is the best motivation I've got!!!
Rhonda, I lost a few years myself,,,,,,,,,,,like about 8 years........from the time he was 1 until her was 9......but we can not dwell on that!! What matters today is that you are here and clean and you are going to be present for all the years that remain.
It is quality, not quantity, and if we both make the few years we have left with our little guys at home the best we can by being clean, we will have given them a gift they will always remember. A mom who was there for them during their pre-teen and teen years........what more could any young man want? (Maybe a new car, but we won't go there.)
((((((Awe)))))))) Now I think I'm going to cry! Thank you for saying those things. Maybe I can actually forgive myself one day. You're right......dwelling doesn't help and it certainly won't change anything. Time to live in the present and actually enjoy it!!!!!!!!
Hey Rhonda!
How ya doin'? I called you when I got home but hadn't heard back. Looks like you're doing ok. Are you having the party this weekend or tomorrow, I forget. I'm gonna be up for awhile if you want to call.
Love ya!
~Callie~
How ya doin'? I called you when I got home but hadn't heard back. Looks like you're doing ok. Are you having the party this weekend or tomorrow, I forget. I'm gonna be up for awhile if you want to call.
Love ya!
~Callie~
Hey callie...........I didn't hear the phone ring last night. I am doing good, just pretty stressed and tired. The party is tonight (Wed). Nothing too bad, just taking a few boys to the movies then 2 of them are spending the night. This will be a big test for me tonight? LOL! No, I think I'm going to be o.k. I'm glad I'm still alive for it! I'll talk to you later hopefully! Thanks for everything!
I tried to call you last night too Rhonda, hopefully we can connect once this week before I take off again for the weekend to go see my mom.
Doing something like this for your children is a good attitude to have but it's got to be for YOU. You have to want this and you have to do this. And you will when you're ready. I have seen such growth in you, it's amazing to watch....hang in there girly girl.
Love you
Lisa
Doing something like this for your children is a good attitude to have but it's got to be for YOU. You have to want this and you have to do this. And you will when you're ready. I have seen such growth in you, it's amazing to watch....hang in there girly girl.
Love you
Lisa
Hey Lisa..........I got your message this morning. I have been going since 4:00 am this morning. Had to go to the treatment clinic in LR, get home and take kids to get school supplies, clean house, and am getting ready to take em to the movies now! I've certainly had enough to keep me busy, which is good! And they told me the same thing at the treatment center that you said, I have to do this for me or it will never work. My kids and family are good motivators, but this is something for me! I will call this week soon as I get a free minute! I can't wait to talk to you! I hope you are doing better. How is your Mom and Mother-in-Law? Thank you for the support and encouragement. I really appreciate You!!!!!!!
Love you!
Love you!
No big deal Rhonda, call when you get a chance, I know how busy life can be. I'm so happy to hear that you are staying busy and feeling good. Isn't it wonderful to NOT be chasing pills??? I'm really proud of you and how far you've come. Be willing kiddo. It's all you have to worry about right now.
Love
Lisa
Love
Lisa
Rhonda,
I just love your attitude! You're going to do great! It really is amazing the progress you've made in such a short time. It shows just how much you really wanted this and how sincere you are. Life is going to bring you so many good things.
Happy Birthday to your Son!!!
I have an eleven year old son too. He'll be twelve next month. I blinked and he grew up.
You know, a lot of people feel guilty about time they spent using and worry about what it took away from their children. Personally, there is very little I regret and maybe one day soon you'll feel this way too.
I had to go through the things I did to become the person I am. It was part of my journey and it taught me valuable life lessons. Everything you went through was part of your personal journey and you may find that your experience will go far in helping others and being of service in this world. One day a very lost person may come to you and you will be the very person to show them the way.
Your light will shine and others will see it. Be very proud of that.
xxxxxxxxoooooo
I just love your attitude! You're going to do great! It really is amazing the progress you've made in such a short time. It shows just how much you really wanted this and how sincere you are. Life is going to bring you so many good things.
Happy Birthday to your Son!!!
I have an eleven year old son too. He'll be twelve next month. I blinked and he grew up.
You know, a lot of people feel guilty about time they spent using and worry about what it took away from their children. Personally, there is very little I regret and maybe one day soon you'll feel this way too.
I had to go through the things I did to become the person I am. It was part of my journey and it taught me valuable life lessons. Everything you went through was part of your personal journey and you may find that your experience will go far in helping others and being of service in this world. One day a very lost person may come to you and you will be the very person to show them the way.
Your light will shine and others will see it. Be very proud of that.
xxxxxxxxoooooo
Lisa and Kat..........thank you for believing in me. It's hard NOT to have a good attitude about this. I just feel so much better about myself. I just feel like myself. It has been a long time since I felt "normal". I forgot how good it feels. My counselor and therapist both say how impressed they are bout my attitude so I'm going to just enjoy this moment and accept that I do have a good attitude these past couple of days. My therapist came by my induction monday and said he was glad I showed up and you know what?............. it never occurred to me to not show up. He said alot of people get into the w/d part and give in and take something and skip it. No way was I going to do that.
I had a great time with my kids and their friends last night. We had to drive an hour to get to the town that has movies around here and we laughed and sang every song on the radio. I bet people could hear us coming for miles away! LOL! It's been quite a while since i enjoyed life so much!
I had a great time with my kids and their friends last night. We had to drive an hour to get to the town that has movies around here and we laughed and sang every song on the radio. I bet people could hear us coming for miles away! LOL! It's been quite a while since i enjoyed life so much!
Lisa..........I tried to call you a lil bit ago. We just keep missing each other! We are going to have to schedule an appoinment! LOL!!
Yeah..........Lisa..............Thanks for the phone call. We finally connected! I really enjoyed our chat when we stopped playing phone tag today! LOL! I appreciate everything you said and all the support you have given me. It is just so nice to have people so concerned bout me and putting out the effort to help me get thru this! You are so helpful to me and my recovery. All of you guys are awesome!!!!!!!! I hope you have a nice visit with your mom this weekend and she is doing better.
I said this on another thread too...it was so great to talk to you! Your accent is so cute! Course, you probably think I have an accent. lol
You may not realize this Rhonda but you help us as well. Watching you grow is one of the greatest gifts....
You may not realize this Rhonda but you help us as well. Watching you grow is one of the greatest gifts....
(((((((((HUGS)))))))))))).......Thanks so much Lisa. That is so nice to hear! Yes, you have an accent, but it is the more sophisticated accent. Not the L....O....N....G.....southern one like mine LOL!!
I happen to like that slow southern drawal....when I spend time in SanAntonio, it's so funny how fast I pick up my aunt's accent. There's nothing cuter, I think.
I went to San Antonio once, the river walk? It was great.
rhonda: I love you kiddo. I just don't think I'm a very good influence right now, but I will email you, I swear. You've touched my heart since we've met.
Love you,
roe
xoxoxox
rhonda: I love you kiddo. I just don't think I'm a very good influence right now, but I will email you, I swear. You've touched my heart since we've met.
Love you,
roe
xoxoxox
(((((((((Hugs))))))))))) Roe..........No worries! I know how hard this is on you. Been there done that a few times. You just concentrate on you right now and I've also been where I cut off everybody's heads around here (kids included). It doesn't make you a bad mom. It just makes you a sick person with a disease that we all share here. If I can help in any way just let me know. I am here for you. You touched my heart from the first day I came to the board and I love you too, girlie! Stay in touch with us! Post when you feel like it.