scarlett Posted: March 16, 2006, 9:15 AM
Posts: 1
Joined: March 16, 2006
roxy - i need your help, i have read your notes, and i can not do 2/3 days, i do it for the same reason as you to become supermum. i can not rest if the house is not clean and this helps me clean up, the longest i have been clean in the last month is 6 days - please have you any advise for me - i have no one to talk to about this and i have just found this site, my husband has no idea what i take i have 3 young children and i feel terrified that i will waske up one day with no memories of them, this makes me feel so bad that i then take more pils or substances please i need support and advise to get through this
Scarlett,
My story is just like yours. The fact that you made the choice to do something about it is great. I did not have that chance before the pills and drugs took over my life. Have faith that after you start making steps to help yourself God will help you. I am glad you are here Welcome and keep posting everything fears, concerns, questions and comments. ((Hugs))
My story is just like yours. The fact that you made the choice to do something about it is great. I did not have that chance before the pills and drugs took over my life. Have faith that after you start making steps to help yourself God will help you. I am glad you are here Welcome and keep posting everything fears, concerns, questions and comments. ((Hugs))
Scarlett..first of all, let me welcome you to the board. So glad you found us. You're going to find that your story is my story, Jane's story etc..you're not alone.
I remember what you're feeling right now and it's frustrating and at times I didn't think I would ever be able to live any other way. I had to do whatever I was told to do and had to be willing...to let go, in order to get clean and get past the first few weeks so that my emotional well being could start to heal.
It does get better, are you willing to try?
Cowgirl
I remember what you're feeling right now and it's frustrating and at times I didn't think I would ever be able to live any other way. I had to do whatever I was told to do and had to be willing...to let go, in order to get clean and get past the first few weeks so that my emotional well being could start to heal.
It does get better, are you willing to try?
Cowgirl
Scarlett... please don't feel alone in this. Can you tell you husband? Or a relative that will help support you? Have you considered meetings? Sometimes just hearing others tell their stories helps to get thru this. It did for me. The main thing is you need support right now. It's so important... and you and your children are so worth it. It's nothing to be ashamed of... i am proud of you for being honest to yourself about your addiction... let us know how you are doing... we are all here for you! Love, Bri :)
Scarlett-
I also have children, and I know your pain. You can do this.............I also took the pills for an energy boost, but eventually that goes away and you will be taking handfulls of pills just to not feel sick.
Please keep posting here, there are wonderful people on this board that can give you some great advice on how to stop this horrible cycle.
Thinking of you!!!!
I also have children, and I know your pain. You can do this.............I also took the pills for an energy boost, but eventually that goes away and you will be taking handfulls of pills just to not feel sick.
Please keep posting here, there are wonderful people on this board that can give you some great advice on how to stop this horrible cycle.
Thinking of you!!!!
Scarlett
So sorry it took me so long to respond if you have 3 little ones then you know the difficulty of sitting at the computer for more than 5 minutes without someone trying to jab at the keyboard.
I too could have written your story. I am doing this alone my husband suspected I was taking too many and I told him a version of my story being that I really think I should stop taking the lortabs for my sciatica because I may be getting addicted, when the truth is I do have some pain that can be managed without the lortabs for the most part. I clearly was taking them for the high and so I could be everything to everybody. But the truth is I would get depressed on them and every single day I woke up thinking "Ok do I have enough pills or how do I get more pills" etc. I have done some pretty unbelievable things to get the drugs to which I truly hope God will forgive me for and that just leads to the feelings of guilt. I have two small children and I started taking somas with the lortabs for a better high. I had complete mental blocks of things I did the night before how sad is that??? I guess what I am saying is I am just in the beginnings of this recovery process. Everyone does things differently some go to meetings while others do not you need to choose for you. The first thing you do have to do is get rid of your pills and your sources. Believe it or not I actually flushed my pills ( I can't believe I did this because whenever I would read that someone did that I would think geez what a waste of good pills" The mind of an addict is a very strange thing. I have even driven by peoples home during garbage day and wondered if they maybe threw out some old pills. I have actually tried to see thru the bags while driving past for that all to familiar orange bottle. But you know what I have good days and bad ones today I am doing Ok tomorrow might be different but I just keep getting up and coming on this board there are some wonderful people here who inspire and understand you no matter what. Ok now I am rambling I would love to hear from you I do hope you come back. Take care
Roxy
So sorry it took me so long to respond if you have 3 little ones then you know the difficulty of sitting at the computer for more than 5 minutes without someone trying to jab at the keyboard.
I too could have written your story. I am doing this alone my husband suspected I was taking too many and I told him a version of my story being that I really think I should stop taking the lortabs for my sciatica because I may be getting addicted, when the truth is I do have some pain that can be managed without the lortabs for the most part. I clearly was taking them for the high and so I could be everything to everybody. But the truth is I would get depressed on them and every single day I woke up thinking "Ok do I have enough pills or how do I get more pills" etc. I have done some pretty unbelievable things to get the drugs to which I truly hope God will forgive me for and that just leads to the feelings of guilt. I have two small children and I started taking somas with the lortabs for a better high. I had complete mental blocks of things I did the night before how sad is that??? I guess what I am saying is I am just in the beginnings of this recovery process. Everyone does things differently some go to meetings while others do not you need to choose for you. The first thing you do have to do is get rid of your pills and your sources. Believe it or not I actually flushed my pills ( I can't believe I did this because whenever I would read that someone did that I would think geez what a waste of good pills" The mind of an addict is a very strange thing. I have even driven by peoples home during garbage day and wondered if they maybe threw out some old pills. I have actually tried to see thru the bags while driving past for that all to familiar orange bottle. But you know what I have good days and bad ones today I am doing Ok tomorrow might be different but I just keep getting up and coming on this board there are some wonderful people here who inspire and understand you no matter what. Ok now I am rambling I would love to hear from you I do hope you come back. Take care
Roxy
Scarlett I do hope you can come back and read this post we are here if you need us. You don't have to be clean to come here ,just come.
Roxy
Roxy
