i am lost. i got addicted to pain medication many years ago and never knew how bad it got. now that i am clean, i have noticed that my wife has a problem with weed. she stuck by my side for so long well i was "in another world." i thought i just had a problem with pills, but have learned that i cant use anything. i can live with that and be happy, but feel that her weed addiction will jepordize my recovery and my life. she said she will stop, but i know what it is like to be addicted to drugs and how hard it is to stop. she hasn't hit a bottem for herself and is going to stop for me. i have a very strong feeling that she will start drinking more if she isnt smoking pot and i dont want that at all. she said she doesnt have a problem with drugs or alcohol but i have seen it and lived it and i cant go back to where i was with using, do i let her hit a bottem, or do i see what happens with her quiting for me? i am scared that i will end up using something if i dont ask her to stop for me. do you think she can stop for me? i know i lied about my using and was still actively using when she thought i was clean. i am affraid she will turn into the person that i was when i was using, and i dont hate anyone accept who i was when i was using. i dont want to hate her.
from: lost and confussed
your recovery has to come first and foremost. Have you discussed this with her? I am going through something similar with my husband. I quit drinking a year ago when he confronted me. After going through 12 steps in AA I finally faced my weed addiction and been clean only a week now. He drinks and smokes but is not addicted. I am the alkie not him. He did stop and slow down his drinking for me in the beginning and that was a huge help as the obsession to drink was being lifted. Now it doesn't bother me to be around him as he drinks. He rarely drinks at home anyway. I did ask him to not smoke around me while I am quitting cuz I know the temptation will be huge if I see him smoke now. We would get high every night!!!! He said he plans to stop during the week anyway. It's been tough to go through this final phase of my recovery since I know it scares him that I am changing so much but it is only for the better. Do you go to any 12 step meetings?? They are a huge help!!! and getting a sponsor will help too. Mine has been there for me sooo much this week and I can't imagine what I would have done! Just remember to take this path to recovery one day at time and talk with your wife.
God bless
God bless
