I feel an immense felling of guilt on me right now. Last summer, during my cocaine experimentations and when it was actually fun, I had gotten my friend to try it. He was already into smoking weed and drinking, but I persuaded him into trying cocaine and he liked it. He liked it even more than I did.
After the summer i decided to cut all ties with the people that I had used with. He was one of them so I did not contact him while I went away to school. In the last couple of months I have began to talk with him again. I have never noticed any signs of him using, but I had the vibe that he still was. Now tonight he called me and asked me if I knew where to find some "white ladies." I knew immediately that he meant cocaine. So I told him that I have not talked to my old dealers since December and that I don't have their numbers anymore. He told me that it was for his friend, but I didn't believe.
For the last couple of hours I have been thinking about what I did. I may have had the will power to truncate cocaine from my life, but he does not, and I was the one that persuaded him to try. I just feel so guilty. I just want to set things right with him and put him back on the straight and narrow like myself, but the difference is he lacks the support and opportunities that I have to enable him to quit.
Has anyone felt far more blessed than they should be? I am feeling that right now and it is making me feel like a devil.
Hello Leaving Town,
First of all, understand that I'm not going to judge you. I don't judge anyone other than myself so take it with a grain of salt...
What you did to your friend was not the right thing to do. You know that and that's why you feel guilty. I'm going to try to explain in as clear a way why there's no point in feeling that way.
There's a difference between learning from your past and feeling guilty. Guilt is a present moment immobilization about a past event. If you're learning from the past and vow never to make the same mistake again, that's different. Guilt is felt when the frustration of not being able to undo something we've done prevents us from acting NOW. We're somewhat immobilized. No amount of guilt will ever undo what you've done, so quit it.
Now, if you want to help your friend, that's another story. It's not too late. Take action. You convinced him to start; use that same influence to convince him to stop. Let friendship and honor motivate you, not guilt.
You're not the devil, but I don't feel like you're a good friend either. Not yet anyway... I hope you can find the words and actions to help the man you led astray.
Good luck & God Bless,
JC
First of all, understand that I'm not going to judge you. I don't judge anyone other than myself so take it with a grain of salt...
What you did to your friend was not the right thing to do. You know that and that's why you feel guilty. I'm going to try to explain in as clear a way why there's no point in feeling that way.
There's a difference between learning from your past and feeling guilty. Guilt is a present moment immobilization about a past event. If you're learning from the past and vow never to make the same mistake again, that's different. Guilt is felt when the frustration of not being able to undo something we've done prevents us from acting NOW. We're somewhat immobilized. No amount of guilt will ever undo what you've done, so quit it.
Now, if you want to help your friend, that's another story. It's not too late. Take action. You convinced him to start; use that same influence to convince him to stop. Let friendship and honor motivate you, not guilt.
You're not the devil, but I don't feel like you're a good friend either. Not yet anyway... I hope you can find the words and actions to help the man you led astray.
Good luck & God Bless,
JC
For my part, I think you are being way too hard on yourself. If you want to help this guy, do it because you would help any friend in need, but I don't see anything in your original post that suggests he has a desire to stop, or even an addiction. Is it possible that he is a casual user?
In any case, offer your friend help. Let him know you are there. It is up to him to decide if he wants to take it, you didn't cause his problem.
best wishes
Sean
In any case, offer your friend help. Let him know you are there. It is up to him to decide if he wants to take it, you didn't cause his problem.
best wishes
Sean