From The Words Of A 16yr Old.

[PuNkBaBy]

Hi. My name is Dana and I came onto these boards a long time ago. I haven't came on here in a long time so I doubt the few people that I had kinda talked to would remember me now. Well here is my story....

When I was 14 I started pills...painkillers that my grama took. The pills names were(and I don't remember what subnames go with the actual brand) but they were: propoxyphene, hydrocodone, vidocin, alprazolam....I'd sneek them from her purse every once in awhile...but that "every once in awhile" faded away and ended up taking pills everyday. I'd take them before I'd go to school...and sometimes when I got home(but only when I really felt like I needed them). I got up to 5 pills a day, 2 of one kind, 3 of another...and I'd take tyenol because I read on sites that it increases effects or something so overall it was about 7-8 pills.

I got really bad. I had a boyfriend at the time(and still do...he has been there for me and I love him more than anything) and he got extremely worried for me cuz of my habit. Sometimes I would get really sick at school from the pills but no one noticed....I'd sit there and have to deal with this horrible disgusting pain that I couldn't control. I had tried to quit before...first time didn't last 1 day....2nd time was more successful and was close to 4 days...3rd time 6...and the 4th time really amazed me when I got up to 12 days.

I tried to keep quitting by myself and ended up finding this site on my own. My boyfriend ended up telling my brother(26 years old) about my problem. My brother came over to the house and got on my computer...and found this site on My Favorites.....d@mn....

I felt like $hit....cuz my parents and brother are people I didn't want to let down and I ended up letting them down anyways. Well my parents tried to help me and I was being made to go to a psycho-therapist. To tell the truth I don't believe in some stranger that was taught to pretty much generalize people's problems and tell them to do this and that. I knew that person wasn't going to help me and I was not going to be willing to talk about my problems to this useless stranger that was just gonna shake her head at me and say "ohh that must of been hard" and "yes I know".....cuz she doesn't know...she couldn't imagine the pain me or anyone was going through with this problem.

After a couple visits I was put on anti-depressants. A couple more visits and I told my mom I didn't want to go. I told my mom I also wanted off the anti-depressants. I didn't like them cuz they weren't solving anything....just covering up my sadness and they didn't even make me feel good.

Me and my parents didn't talk about my problem or anything...just ignored it and hoped to God it wouldn't happen again. Well I have only taken pills twice or so since then...and I haven't had cravings in a long long time. It's been over a year since I've had cravings.

PLEASE if you have any questions at all please ASK ME. I'm getting nausiated from tryin to remember all this stuff and it's hard to type it all. You can ask me about anything....the pills, what went through my head at certain times, other things I've gotten in trouble for, school, boyfriend, my problems now....ANYTHING.

I like to help people with this stuff because I know for a fact that it isn't fun. You think it's hard in your age....25...36...59. Just think going through the same trouble at 14. I may be young but I'm pretty smart so ask away.