After many nasty text messages and name calling our 46 y/o addict son text me last night while we were at a Father's Day dinner. I didn't read it till afterwards because I was trying to make dinner special for my husband.
My son said he has nothing left and they are going to probably pull him over for no insurance and he will go to jail and his 2 dogs to the pound and they will take his car because he owes money on his car title loan. Every other word was f--in this and that. He mentioned the camper again he wanted to get for $850 so he could have a place to live.
It was the same diatribe and then how he had no one that cares and no family or friends and how everyone has ripped him off. He said he applied for unemployment and food stamps but that will take months. He said the car title people are charging him triple and trying to get his vehicle and when he called them, they hung up on him. Probably because he cussed at them! The car title loan is charging him for late fees and repo fees because he hasn't paid on it. They aren't trying to get his vehicle!
He said a lawyer online is taking his case to charge his previous employer for overtime he didn't pay. It is always about someone doing him wrong and never getting a break and always wanting someone else to fix it and bail him out of any situation which he got himself into!!!!
I am so worn out from it all! I didn't respond to his texts so this morning I got one calling us as--ho and saying we can't even talk or have a conversation with him and he was going to post all our previous conversations for everyone to see what as--ho parents we are. I am not texting him anymore! Yes-- we can't talk to him because he always has an answer and starts calling us filthy names! He doesn't want a parental conversation or advice just money!!!
I just hope he doesn't show up at our home!
Lori
Lori,
I haven't been on in awhile! Chris didn't leave you alone for long did he. Shame you were almost getting some peace.
I'm thinking your son has used this tactic many times on you and thinking he is going to wear you down. Be strong lady you've got this. One he will get arrested and go to jail , loose his car and dogs will be put in pound. OR two he will annoy someone else until they give in :)...
My update is Jeremy ended up on meth, not good. He ended back up in jail for domestic but apparently he had a mental break due to meth. He only used heroin. (what a saying) only used Heroin and every other drug he could of but never did the meth before.
So he called a friend here in Florida, they work on a plan. Florida didn't go get him, which was a shock! So when he got out , bought his own bus pass and came back to Florida. He then found a rehab that he wanted to go to. However he still had a warrant on his head. And you are not going to believe this. He turned himself in. Walked right into jail and said I have a warrant. His friend was able to secure a grant so he can go to this Rehab which is one year more if he needs it. He will be sentence tomorrow for VOP. The Rehab centre has emailed and faxed a letter to both judge and his PD asking that he be release to them for his sentence. He is all for it. He wants to be sober now. Whether he can do it.. hmm it's another story. The place also has the 12 steps, therapy, counseling, medical help. It has spiritual and physical.
There is a tiny flicker that my son may find his way back to us. It's all he's got hopefully the judge will agree to this instead of jail or probation. It's what he needs. Keep saying no Lori,
Your son is at an age now that he has to find his own way, momma can't help no more.. Bank of momma is closed :) xxx
Hugs and kisses
Sue
I haven't been on in awhile! Chris didn't leave you alone for long did he. Shame you were almost getting some peace.
I'm thinking your son has used this tactic many times on you and thinking he is going to wear you down. Be strong lady you've got this. One he will get arrested and go to jail , loose his car and dogs will be put in pound. OR two he will annoy someone else until they give in :)...
My update is Jeremy ended up on meth, not good. He ended back up in jail for domestic but apparently he had a mental break due to meth. He only used heroin. (what a saying) only used Heroin and every other drug he could of but never did the meth before.
So he called a friend here in Florida, they work on a plan. Florida didn't go get him, which was a shock! So when he got out , bought his own bus pass and came back to Florida. He then found a rehab that he wanted to go to. However he still had a warrant on his head. And you are not going to believe this. He turned himself in. Walked right into jail and said I have a warrant. His friend was able to secure a grant so he can go to this Rehab which is one year more if he needs it. He will be sentence tomorrow for VOP. The Rehab centre has emailed and faxed a letter to both judge and his PD asking that he be release to them for his sentence. He is all for it. He wants to be sober now. Whether he can do it.. hmm it's another story. The place also has the 12 steps, therapy, counseling, medical help. It has spiritual and physical.
There is a tiny flicker that my son may find his way back to us. It's all he's got hopefully the judge will agree to this instead of jail or probation. It's what he needs. Keep saying no Lori,
Your son is at an age now that he has to find his own way, momma can't help no more.. Bank of momma is closed :) xxx
Hugs and kisses
Sue
Sue--
Yup you are so right and I am standing firm. Can't go back to way it was and didn't work anyway. I pray my Chris can figure it out and turn around before it is too late.
So J is figuring it out on his own! Praise God! I know you are hopeful for him like we all are and I will keep praying for you both!
Keep us posted and hopefully he has finally seen the light at the end of the tunnel!
(((HUGS)))Lori
Yup you are so right and I am standing firm. Can't go back to way it was and didn't work anyway. I pray my Chris can figure it out and turn around before it is too late.
So J is figuring it out on his own! Praise God! I know you are hopeful for him like we all are and I will keep praying for you both!
Keep us posted and hopefully he has finally seen the light at the end of the tunnel!
(((HUGS)))Lori
Wow! It is shocking how similar our situations are. I found a baggie in my son's room. It was empty. I told him he could not have drugs in our house and if I find anything else again, he is going to have to go somewhere forcibly.
He was obnoxious and condescending. He told me that if I ever do anything like to him, he is going to call in false allegations against me to the police. He told me he would plant drugs in my car and call the police on me. Unreal. He is out of his mind. He said, "I can make things very bad for you".
Honestly, when I flew recently, I pulled over and checked all my stuff before entering the airport, because that is the exact thought I had! He would find it amusing to plant something in my luggage. I found nothing, but really! It is always about threats and vengence.
I cannot wait until he turns 18. We keep trying to find something to get him out earlier but almost no resources here.
Hugs to all. What a nightmare. Never seems to stop.
I hope you were able to enjoy Father's Day. I have been turning off my phone to enjoy some of my life.
He was obnoxious and condescending. He told me that if I ever do anything like to him, he is going to call in false allegations against me to the police. He told me he would plant drugs in my car and call the police on me. Unreal. He is out of his mind. He said, "I can make things very bad for you".
Honestly, when I flew recently, I pulled over and checked all my stuff before entering the airport, because that is the exact thought I had! He would find it amusing to plant something in my luggage. I found nothing, but really! It is always about threats and vengence.
I cannot wait until he turns 18. We keep trying to find something to get him out earlier but almost no resources here.
Hugs to all. What a nightmare. Never seems to stop.
I hope you were able to enjoy Father's Day. I have been turning off my phone to enjoy some of my life.
Well-- the last 24 hrs. has been peaceful because I haven't text Chris back and I am not going to anymore! His verbal abuse on text is just over the top and I don't want to talk to him at all. It just seems to fuel his fire and he gets more agitated.
Don't know what will happen next and I pray he doesn't get so crazy and desperate that he shows up here!
I just cannot tolerate his behavior and the way he talks to us any longer! I cannot believe anyone would disrespect the very parents that have given him life and helped him for so long!
The disease of drug addiction is evil and it has my son in its grasp!
Lori
Don't know what will happen next and I pray he doesn't get so crazy and desperate that he shows up here!
I just cannot tolerate his behavior and the way he talks to us any longer! I cannot believe anyone would disrespect the very parents that have given him life and helped him for so long!
The disease of drug addiction is evil and it has my son in its grasp!
Lori
Never in my life did I think I would need a field manual for being a parent of an addicted child.
I read the book "It's Not About You, Except When It Is" by Barbara Victoria. It is so straight forwaed and has been a real strength for me!
She hits the nail on the head and she describes everything I have done. Her experiences with her son are so much like mine. I highly recommend reading it!
My son text me yesterday with a barrage of filthy language and name calling. Said his car water pump went out now. Tried to sell his car with a car title loan owed on it and wanted us to pay his loan off so he could sell his car! He is so out of touch with reality! He does and says things that make no sense and are way off!
I have not been answering him on his texts because he always has an answer for every suggestion or advice we give him and if we don't advise him or answer then he cusses us out and says we never give him parental guidance!!! He also blames everyone and everything even from 20 yrs. ago for his failures. Says everyone has ripped him off and screwed him over. Never takes responsibility for his lot in life.
I so appreciate all of my friends on this forum for their support and advice!
You keep me sane and strong!!!
(((HUGS))) Lori
I read the book "It's Not About You, Except When It Is" by Barbara Victoria. It is so straight forwaed and has been a real strength for me!
She hits the nail on the head and she describes everything I have done. Her experiences with her son are so much like mine. I highly recommend reading it!
My son text me yesterday with a barrage of filthy language and name calling. Said his car water pump went out now. Tried to sell his car with a car title loan owed on it and wanted us to pay his loan off so he could sell his car! He is so out of touch with reality! He does and says things that make no sense and are way off!
I have not been answering him on his texts because he always has an answer for every suggestion or advice we give him and if we don't advise him or answer then he cusses us out and says we never give him parental guidance!!! He also blames everyone and everything even from 20 yrs. ago for his failures. Says everyone has ripped him off and screwed him over. Never takes responsibility for his lot in life.
I so appreciate all of my friends on this forum for their support and advice!
You keep me sane and strong!!!
(((HUGS))) Lori
Lori,
It just never ends for you. I would almost block his phone number. But I know it's so hard for you because it's a bad habit wanting to know where he is and what he is up to. Even if it's bad you know he is still alive. I just don't understand how he gets money for gas :)..
My son was sentence Monday, and he has a one in a lifetime chance at trying to recover. His dear friend was able to secure him a grant for a rehab. The judge and Public defender worked out a fantastic deal that his probation was revoked he server another 9 days. Then he will be release to this rehab to start his life. Whether he can do it I don't know. But it's his choice to go. It was his choice to turn himself in.
I asked my husband why is J still alive and he said god needs him for something here on earth. My response was is it god or the devil? He said to me he has a kernel of a chance to change and fight the devil.(drugs) I hope that he can do it. We will see. Your son just hasn't gotten it yet. Wonder if he ever will. I will keep you in my prayers that he does finally say enough is enough. xxxx Hugs to you lady x
Sue
It just never ends for you. I would almost block his phone number. But I know it's so hard for you because it's a bad habit wanting to know where he is and what he is up to. Even if it's bad you know he is still alive. I just don't understand how he gets money for gas :)..
My son was sentence Monday, and he has a one in a lifetime chance at trying to recover. His dear friend was able to secure him a grant for a rehab. The judge and Public defender worked out a fantastic deal that his probation was revoked he server another 9 days. Then he will be release to this rehab to start his life. Whether he can do it I don't know. But it's his choice to go. It was his choice to turn himself in.
I asked my husband why is J still alive and he said god needs him for something here on earth. My response was is it god or the devil? He said to me he has a kernel of a chance to change and fight the devil.(drugs) I hope that he can do it. We will see. Your son just hasn't gotten it yet. Wonder if he ever will. I will keep you in my prayers that he does finally say enough is enough. xxxx Hugs to you lady x
Sue
