Getting Help For My Husband...

Hello everyone,

I need a little advise and information. My husband has been suffering with an addiction to Vicodin over the past few years. During the time we met and married he was on off mode and i never knew he had a problem with them. I didnt know what i was getting myself into becuase we rushed into marriage so quickly. This past winter he had his 5th operation and it was a torn ligament on his knee, as a result he turned to a new pain killer, methadone. It truly has devistated us finanically. He is spending anywhere from 2 to 400 hundred a week on them. Now that we have a baby on the way ( whoops) he has acknowledged that he needs help. He wants to get help and according to my husband, he had a doctors appoitment last friday ( 8 days ago) to speak to his doctor for help. He even took the day off to go to this appointment. He says they would call a clinic for him and recommend his a center. The problem is, they havent called him back. He says he called them back twice. Does it take this long to get a appoitment in with a clinic or rehab center? Or is my husband lieing to me? I want to get him help asap. Does anyone have any advise on this matter?? What do you recommend that i do to help speed the process? I am looseing patience...
Thanks for reading
The board has been kinda slow today, and there are many here with good advice. I'm not so good at advice. I'm sure someone will be around that can help you. I will say that it is very possible that an addict is lieing. Has he ever asked for help before? Has he ever run out of meds and had withdrawal symptoms? I don't know alot about rehabs, but I have heard of it taking a little while before you can get in, but usually they will put you on a waiting list and call when they have a bed for you. So, has the dr mentioned anything like a waiting list? Why isn't hubby calling the rehabs himself? These are just some questions you could ask him?

One thing I do know is that hubby has to do this for himself. You wanting it won't do him any good.....he has to want to get help. You can support and encourage him but this is his cross to bear so to speak. That is a harsh reality especially when you really want him to get clean and hoping that he can do it for the baby that is on the way. It just doesn't work that way. Sometimes they may want help, but have to hit bottom before they get help. Not always. I am just giving you a little info about addiction and what it does to you.

Hang around and if no responses tonight...come back tomorrow and more people may be around to give you some advice. I hope things work out and that he isn't lieing. Congrats on the baby (whoops or not...LOL).
Another suggestion is while he is waiting for rehab he could try an NA/AA meeting. Face to Face support is very important in recovery and having others to talk to that are going through or have been through the same thing really helps. Do a little research and find some groups that meet in your area and give hubby the info......that might help find out if he is serious about getting help and give him some choices for getting help.
As far as getting him to start treatment, I don't know that there's much you can do. If it were me I might get on the web and/or phone and do some research as to what is available in my area, what each option entails, how much it costs, insurance coverage, etc. Then you can present the info to him, in a non-threatening, gee look what I learned today! kind of way. That might get a conversation started. And you might end up educating yourself as far as what to expect while you're at it.

One thing you should know about methadone...it can be very, very difficult to discontinue using. Patients prescribed methadone are generally tapered down slowly before discontinuing altogether. Even then, acute withdrawal can go on for weeks. If he's spending several hundred dollars every week, he must be taking a fair amount daily. So, I would look for some form of treatment equipped to help him manage a difficult detox.

How did your discovery of the problem come about? Did you know about it all along? Has this been an ongoing issue? Or did he recently come to you and tell you what he's been doing? Other than financially, how has his use affected your lives? When you say he wants help, how has he demonstrated that? Has he been through any kind of addiction treatment before? Where he's at with this says a lot about how likely he is to respond well to treatment. Opiate addiction is really, really tough. No matter what, I hope you will believe that his struggle with addiction doesn't mean he doesn't care about you, or the baby, enough.
You've been given excellent advice. Now you need to take care of you. Find a local Alanon meeting and go. All you can do for him is to point him in the right direction, the rest is up to him. Your priority is you and the baby. You can't love him into this, he has to want it.


Blue Angel, I am assuming your husband is buying the methadone on the streets, because with an RX, methadone is very cheap.
Depends on where you are whether or not there is a long wait to get help. It should not take over a week to get a phone call, though. Try calling someone else.
If your husband is able, he can wean himself off of the methadone. He absolutely should find a dr. to help him through that, though, and should.

Again, you need to help you. Especially with your pregnancy, you do not need the weight of his addiction. Alanon is a great starting place for you, and AA or NA for him.

Good luck with it all, and enjoy the next few months. They are unlike any other time of you life, you shouldn't be having to deal with so much at this time.