I've been on a method clinic for almost three years and started tapering over a year ago from 85mlg.What I've been doing is a one mil drop for five weeks and take a few weeks off the taper to get used to the change and then reapeat,go down five and take few weeks to normalize and so on....I got down to 20 milgrams and that's when for the first time during my taper that I actually started feeling frozen,hahaa..And the chills start my mind going and worrying about getting dope sick like I have in the past before I was on the clinic..I've stopped for my two week normalizing and for the first time in three years ,everything is on the verge of failing.All the good I've done,All the friends and family fixing could all be thrown away.I've had the comfort of the thought that in the morning I will get my methadone and all these thoughts will leave my mind and all will be good again in life.its a security blanket that kept me untouchable when it came to using drugs and now I'm gonna be vulnerable to people and things again ,until I finish the taper and get well at some point eventually. I don't have anyone trying to motivate me to keep on keeping on...Its real tough when you are the only one that actually is in charge of finishing what I set out to do and was so confident.I guess what I'm looking for is someone to push me and remind me of what's at stake..So when I'm struggling I can read some peoples responses and that will push me to finish line..I know I have to do this but when that little drug addict sitting on my shoulder starts putting thoughts in my head,it gets tough to remember the cocky,no BS additude you need to get to finish line...If you've made it or are in same boat as me I would like to hear what you did during those final days that you almost couldn't deal with it..I got dosed a few hours ago and all is great again,but tonight or in the morning before I dose is the worst,it feels like the past three years never happened and I'm a lunatic drug addict again..pretty messed up what a few hours difference can do to me mentally..I've never had mental issues and Im great when I'm not furiously thinking about getting sick and throwing it all away and end up back at square one..
well you can help me , i know that feeling come morning, im down to 10mgs on day 4 of that , to be honest man i havent felt anything, ya some stomach issues , ya some dizzines, oh and dont forget the anxiety , not to mention i got drawn into some court s*** for my kid, in the midst of this detox taper, i have a month and half to drop to zero. Reason for this is well my clinic is closing so i dont have a choice, plus its time 8 years of this worrying every day that il get it . worrying that i cant be normal.I just dealt with the omg im goin to fail this morning , how can i do this, but the truth is we can do what ever we set out to do. I come here and youtube to help with the thoughts, i know a few ppl that have made it out and off of this crap. You can do it, many have done it before us and we wont be the last to make it. You have to want it ,thats the problem we get comfortable, but do we want that forever. Why not be sober and be that way.
I never really had a problem , but s*** happens and i got stuck on this crap, so now im a addict from what im told.Good Luck mate, God Speed.
I never really had a problem , but s*** happens and i got stuck on this crap, so now im a addict from what im told.Good Luck mate, God Speed.
Yah,I here what your saying.I'm good rt now,like this morning never happened .hahaa but I know it begins again tomorrow again.just gotta stay positive and push through the little crap.I'm sure after a few days the dose will probably even out and get better at dealing with the morning freakout..haha
I also started waking up earlier than usual.like I usually wake up at six a.m....yesterday I woke at 5a.m then today I woke up at 4a.m.I'm talking about that instant wake up like you drank two cups of coffee ,no groggy slow nice normal wake up.just instant Go,once your eyes open.hahaa messed up..Anyways I didn't have the frozen hands again,just mild chill and no anxiety really compared to yesterday.So thankfully I think my body is adjusting to the taper well..Thank God!!Feeling better today.I guess this is kinda a feeling out stage in my taper,where you gotta listen to our body but not so afraid of getting sick that it prevents our from moving forward.the way I see it ,if someone would have offered me a chance to get off methadone but I would feel some chills .I would have jumped on that in a heartbeat..So we will all have those days at some point in our recovery,it will happen.Just have to keep saying to myself"Hey p****!!go put a jacket on Stupid!!"its sometimes just normal to have chills when its 30 degrees outside... hahaa...Its just normal,so get your self together and know that time will fix whatever ales me at that particular moment...We Can do this...
yes , yes we can do this, ya couldnt sleep last nite again, i have bad anxiety , and i have court in a few days, so im a tad worried, doesnt help tapering off methadone , but the moments i freak and say i cant do this, and want to cave in , i just chug on , like that happen a few million times today, i just wanted to be home, but im home now and im all good, so just proof that it will pass,
im on 10mgs, next friday will be 7.5 ...
im on 10mgs, next friday will be 7.5 ...
Is their a chance you'll get locked up when you go to court?
