Hello,
I am a 41 yr old male who has been addicted to opioids for about 8 years now. I started off hating opioids and was just a weed person. It started off like anyone else I imagine, taking vic's, percs and then rapidly evolved to oxy's. I have been wanting to get off these pills for a few years now, but every time I try, I fail. I find it impossible to ween down properly and end up right back where I was because I get dizzy and fatigued so bad, that I cannot function.
I have a script from a pain doctor for my medication (methadone and dialudid), but as the state has cracked down on the MED (morphine equivalent dosage) I have been running out by the 2nd or 3rd week of my month supply, and have just started using heroin to make up the difference. I hate how it makes me feel, but its the only thing I can find, and I cannot be sick to where I lose my job and family. I am looking at starting NA meetings, but could use some kind words of encouragement from anyone who has been through what Im going through. I hate myself, hate this drug, but am scared to death of withdrawal. I have found that when I went through my divorce (about 10 yrs ago) that forum members really helped me get past the hard part, and Im hoping this board and their members can help me do the same here.
I have a wonderful fiancee that is supportive and wants me to get my life back, but she doesnt understand the difficulty of this process, and quite honestly I dont want to bother her with the struggles Im going through. I am planning on telling her tonight that I want to start NA meetings and start to ween off these drugs. Any suggestions on how to get her on board with my plans, and maybe a way to make this a team effort with her?
I just havent felt like myself in many years, I have lost my edge that used to make me me. I feel dumbed down by these meds and feel like I cannot think on my feet like I used to. I desperately need to be rid of this devil, and would greatly appreciate any help/advice/support anyone can give me. I just returned to school a few years ago and completed my undergrad and Masters degrees. I have a great job that allows me to work from home, with a little travel here and there. I dont want to lose my job due to this drug! I need to get control of my life today.
Please help me.
Thank you for listening and for any responses
How are things going today? Have you started NA meetings? Has your girlfriend given you the support you described? I am so sorry your going through this. What is your plan for yourself? I know my journey was lonely getting off of methadone..but my plan was to taper no matter how long it took. Today is day 60 free of methadone for me. I was a heroin junkie before that. Are you still running out of meds and using heroin?? Sorry for all the questions just trying to get a feel for where your at. IMO you need to taper off of heroin and take your medication as prescribed. Then start tapering your meds if you want off of them too. It will be a process but you can do it. Could you give your girlfriend your medication to give to you as prescribed? Just a thought. You can always CT it and suffer through it but for me I didn't want that route. I got my methadone from my doctor and used it as prescribed then started a slow taper. I never was the type to use more. I always worry about the next day and saved my pills. I tapered over years so I wouldn't suffer withdrawals and I didn't. But I will say there has been some discomfort for a few days here and there but I never couldn't handle them. I worry about your script not lasting a whole month for you. Your jeopardizing your script as you well know. Anyway sorry for rambling. This is just IMO and not meant to be discouraging.
Hey was wondering how things are going for you? Did you get into your doctor ? Anyways post your progress and let us know how your doing. Wishing you the best
