Getting Wiser????

Well......just got home from work.....tired.... Want to nap......BUT, heading back out to a happy hour meeting I like!!!! That's a big change for me.
Hey Jer, how's it going? Enjoy that meeting. I'm heading out soon to one. Speak uppppppppppppp
hugs,
froggy
Hey Froggy,
Yeah......I made a promise to raise my hand and did it.....still tough for me, but I like this group.
Jer...Good for you....Though I may not know you personaly...I am proud of you.
I know you have struggled over & over..yet you ALWAYS keep picking yourself up & keep trying....It does get better.Life sober is different...but I can honestly say................So much better......Take Care
mj
Jer, you rock!!!! High fives!!!! We discussed Step 1 tonight and I, again, spoke up. I can't keep my mouth shut!!!

hugs,
froggy
We read tradition 2 at the meeting. I have been digging this group and I go there two or three times a week. More than 3/4 in attendance have years of continuous sobriety. I had about two years clean on my own, but I didn't feel the recovery.....the meetings are helping. I had spoken briefly before.....they rigged the raffle for me......but tonight my hand shot up because I promised myself I would be more involved. I now have two groups I feel comfortable at.
Very nice jer. Friday night is my "home" meeting...I also attend Sundays and now a new meeting Wednesday and when able i'll go other nights. I know what you mean about continuous clean time. The head chair has 12 yrs!! Amazing. and alot more multiple years.

I haven't gotten past Step1 yet....so far. I'm told I now need a sponsor. Here's whats holding me back...there aren't very many women in the group, or that have 1 yr clean. Lots of men, but they say to get a sponsor your own sex. It leaves it very slim pickings.

froggy
Hey Jer, just wanted to say congrats on really working it this go round. Sounds like you are getting some pay off for your efforts. I wish you all the best in your recovery, and hope you will continue to post here.

Froggy, one way to find a sponsor is to raise your hand and say you are looking for a temporary sponsor. Radical, I know. You may have missed someone in the back of the room who has a lot of time, but who does not talk much. If that doesnt work you can always seek out meetings where there are more women.

I agree that it is very unwise to have an opposite sex sponsor so I think you are getting some good guidance.

Congrats to both or you and all who read this on the time you have!
:-)
Froggy-I go to one meeting that has a list for people to sign up that are looking for a sponsor.Opposite sex partners exist and have been successful but it's usually not a good ideal....unless it's a gay man.

We are all human and if opposite sex sponsors become enamored or vice versa,it can get real ugly.I've seen it happen and have seen people actually get married.I'll just let your imagination run with those dynamics.

Here is a condensed version of the role a sponsor:
*encouraging sponsees to work the program of AA (doing the 12 steps and engaging in AA activity);
*support (regular contact, emotional support and practical support); and
carrying the message of AA (sharing sponsors personal experience of recovery with sponsees).

That's essentially it.It's not complicated and if you find yourself with a sponsor that's not doing this,then you pick another one.It's not unusal to change sponsors.

This applies to NA or any 12 step program
Thats what I heard about opposite sex sponsors. Some joke and say pick someone you can....lol Thats all I need right now. Single by choice and plan on staying this way until I can love myself again. If I don't how the hell can I expect them to love me? Anyway...

I'll keep looking and listening at the meetings, guess i'll have to wait and see.

have a great day all
froggy
Can I have a lesbian sponsor?
if I can have a gay one, by all means Jer

ribbet
Guys, and frogs, I hate to be a killjoy, but if you decide to cross the gender divide, it is best if both sponsor and sponsee are gay. Not that there is anything wrong with that.
Thank you George.

<my next to favorite Seinfeldt episode>

What about the one where Elaine had the rash and her medical file was stamped difficult.
I was kidding....BUT, the only friend I have in the program is a gay male....he takes me to his group and they accept me....he became my temporary sponsor, but there is another guy who is going to take over....straight guy.
I have had a gay sponsor and I have sponsored a gay man. I do not recall many issues, other than working through some gay specific things on the sponsee's 5th step (i.e., being gay is not an excuse to use).
I was also joking around. I do have a sense of humor ya know... ;-) lol My Sunday meeting is 90% male so won't have luck there either. Maybe I"m not meant to have a sponsor...yet

off topic but...who will be watching Canadian men kick some US butts??? ;-)
QUOTE
Maybe I"m not meant to have a sponsor...yet


Get a temporary one.It doesn't have to be a life long commitment.I've learned some good things from every sponsor I've had,even the one's I didn't like.

Just go into it with the attitude that this could change and whomever you ask be honest with them.If they've been around and have some good sobriety,they will understand completely.Afterall,they've been in the same place.
Sounds like you need to go to a different meeting H. You can still go to your favorite but it's time to get serious about that sponsor. Really.

Sponsor's aren't responsible for us staying clean but they sure do help you stay clean if you find one that won't put up with your bs.