Gimmi The "i Told You So"

Pain Pills
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Ok........so i just relized that no matter how strong i think i am.......or how much i think i can take care of myself.........something that is questionable, usually is for a very good reason.
so my husband and i just got into a HUGE fight and alot of it was him thinking im selfish for even calling myself a addict, that it is inconsiderate and is giving him a bad name. And the crazy part of it is, he doesnt know anyone who really talks to me about addiction. But i mean that is just one of the many staws added to the camels already broken back.
I thought we were doing pretty well in the hole situation, but i had a feeling that something was up with how extra cheesy sweet he was being.
Ok this is the hard part............. he told me that i need to forget my parents and not give them the time of day because they in his eyes are inhuman.......and he really doesnt care to look at the hole picture....... of how bad my addiction and my actons effected my parents. ..... But he forbade me to ever see them again, and that when i go home i ma GOING to be living at his parents house..........which no way..............i couldnt do that..........

So bottom line he snapped........and started chucking things because i said i didnt feel comfortable, even seeing his family when i was back...........i told him i would prefer it if they didnt even know...........
So now i am staring at a broken window, and two mirrors.......and plates everywhere................ i took a key to the eye but i think it was a accident. I was convinced that verbal was as far as it would go, now i am seeing it in a different light. So i guess im sorry guys i didnt listen to you............and i really should of because alot of you have been through this, and saw it coming a mile away. I just dont understand how i got through life taking crap from no one, and takin care of myself to here...............in this not right situation.

so like i said.................i deserve a i told you so............

Pants
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Pants, a key to the eye?? The reason I am asking is I work for a eye doctor. Are you o.k. Shantel
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ya...........it didnt like jab me..........it just kinda flew at it, just a few broken blood vessles ........probably have a black eye tomorrow.........but i was a katcher in softball i have had worse..........so im fine(: optomatry(sp) that field has always facinated me.........what do you do there?

Pants
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Pants,

So your going home to Utah with your husband? For the holiday's? I thought your parents bought you a ONE WAY plane ticket that your husband thought was round-trip? If he is flying with you I think he will figure that out. Now he thinks you are staying with him and his parents? He doesn't have a clue that you are going back home to live with your parents? Without him?


So are you flying out with him on Dec 7th? Or by yourself? I would suggest leaving him in VA and saying PEACE OUT...You really need to be honest with him about what your plans are. If you are that scared of him then maybe you can stay in a hotel until your plane leaves next Friday?

Your only 20 years old. Call your parents and tell them what is going on. You need to be in a SAFE place.

Rae
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Pants, I have worked for the same O.D. since 1989. I started out as a receptionist now I can pretty much fix your glasses or give you a eye exam. Shantel
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Honey...forget the "I told you so"...please take care of yourself...it sounds like a volatile and potentially very dangerous situation...no one has the right to "forbid" you from seeing anyone..ESPECIALLY family. I wish you the best of luck. Love, Sharonn
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Rae,

sorry if i was confusing............no i am leaving alone..........and he now knows it is one way.................he is just still trying to make me do what he wants......he wants JUST me to live with his family not mine.........even if we split......weird i know....... But my parents do know what is going on, im really not to worried about anything much more happening............today was more than i thought though, but one of my neighbors heard the hole thing, and so his wife is coming over while he is home during the day to make sure im ok, dont really know her that well but it was a nice gesture............her hubby is actually on the same flight as me, so if anything goes wrong he will be around............

but i hope that answered your questions..........he is staying here and i will be there...........and my parents know all that is going on, that is just the soonest we could do it and afford it............ so i am gratefull that it is even that soon.

just a few more days.............(: just thought i would tell everyone thank you and im sorry that i didnt listen, i guess if anything this is a very good lesson for me.

Pants

lerking, that is cool, i have a few uncles who are eye doc, and one of my good friends is in school for that now...........it was nice to go through the glasses phase with a relitive who would give you good deals.............the other i havent met though...........how fun
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There is a word for what your husband did tonight. It is called DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. If you were to call 911 tonight his butt would more than likely spend the night in jail. That is your call.

My advice to you is GET OUT BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE. There is NO EXCUSE for what he did tonight. You need to get on that plane WITHOUT him like you said you were doing. Tell him you are NOT going to his parents house to FORGET IT. IT ISN'T HAPPENIN...If you don't feel safe telling him that to his face leave and call him. Send him a certified letter but get out.



I am going to bed. Hope it works out for you..

Rae
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I wish you the best of luck pants...you are in a very ugly situation..if I were you I would get out of there. A few more days and the situation could really escalate.

Was he under the impression that you were coming back? and now has found out that you are not...be careful and good luck.
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Pants- As sad as it is, Rae is right. Flying plates quickly turn into flying fist.
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rae, i am still going just like was planned and all those things have been clear now to him................... i guess he just fianlly is relizing how real it all is.

if it happens again, i will call the cops, and he knows that...........he would go to jail and he would RUIN all of his academic scholarships and athletic standing because it is against the honor code. i dont want to ruin his life i hope he will be happy.......... but i know i am not coming back and that the papers will be served to him...............

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Bullwinkle, i know see, it escalating, but i guess the hole in the wall proved that one.............expecially if he wanted just to hit something, we have a punching bag in the other room. I think i have got it coered with him being home and me not being alone.............and the long drive to the airport, we now have someone else coming with us so............that is a blessing.

Pants
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Do you guys always fly home to Utah together to see both of your parents? How far do they live from each other? Will you have to see him at all while your there? I just hate that you sceduled your flight on the same date. As you said, at least your neighbor is on the same flight. He would be stupid to do anything on a plane. All you would have to say is " Can I get a witness"..

I hope he doesn't harass verbally all the way to the plane, once your on the plane and while your getting your luggage. Are you taking a seperate cab from the airport? Or is his mom coming to get him and your mom coming to get you?

That really sucks trying to get ALL your belongings from VA to Utah but like you said you won't be taking anything but your clothes. So that should be easy enough. You poor thing.

Rae
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Rae, Her husband isn't going with her to Utah. They are doing a trial separation and she only has a one way ticket. Her husband is just driving her to the airport. Shantel
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Rae,

we havent been back home once since we got married............i have a old friend picking me up.............

and My husband is just taking me to the airport he is not going back with me.

We live far away from anyone, it is a big ranch........................ but his family is everywhere i could run into them in any town in the state, but i can deal with it, plus i will probably just be with my mom alot.

i have one box my neighbor will ship for me today, and then the res im takiin on the flight...........dont really want anything from the marrige, i will take what i brought or what has meaning to me, dont care about furniture or anything it is just that furniture

Pants
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Thanks Shantel-- For the info. Trial seperation? Alrighty well serving him with paper's doesn't seem like " Trail Seperation to me" and I would hope she wouldn't want him back, but whatever. That's not my call to make. If he doesn't understand she is an addict, he throws plates at her, puts holes in the all, refuses for her to own a car or drive one, refuses for her to talk on the phone, doesn't want her to get a job but yet she graduated from college and she is only 20 years old. Well I personally would tell my daughter to RUN not WALK FAR AWAY from that control FREAK. However, like I said, that is NOT my call to make some woman enjoy being told where to go and what to do.

Anyway, Manda. My bad. I thought you said you said "He forbade me to ever see them again ( meaning your parents) and that when i go home i ma GOING to be living at his parents house..........which no way..............i couldnt do that..........So I just assumed he was going home to see his parents to. I mean he has no control over where you go or what you do when he is in VA and you are in Utah. Unless he calls his mama to come get you from the airport. LOL Wouldn't that be something?
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oh, he already tried to get his brother to pick me up, but he thinks my flight lands later, so got it all coverd. Im confusing at times so no big. And i have no intent on taking him back. And so i am not going to be afraid of him not letting me see my family, they may not be perfect but right now they are better to be around then him

Pants
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Well good for you. I know what it is like to live with a control freak. I did it for 8 years. I spent all of my 20's with that dumba$$-LOL The important thing was I wised up and moved on. I know now not all men are like that and if you want out bad enough it is possible.

So his mom, dad, brother and immediate family live in Utah?

Hopefully they won't all be at the airport waiting on you OR that you won't have to run into them. It is better to cut all ties, especially if his mom and you don't get along.

Rae
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everyone lives all over but still fairly close...........but my parents dont like his, so i know they will do all they can to keep them off my back! even if it takes a restraining order. im glad that i didnt even get to wastin this for a hole year even

pants
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Well I guess that is a good thing his parents and your parents didn't really get along. Especially under the circumstances your in now. This way if his mom showed up at your mom's house, she wouldn't invite her in for coffee.

My grandparents are still really good to my ex husband. Him and I have a 8 year old together. We were together for 8-10 years. I still talk to his mom, she has always been really good to me.

Now my current boyfriend and his mom and I do NOT get along so well. It makes it hard especially around the holiday's.

Hopefully the next man you meet, your families will all get along.

Try focusing on Manda for a while. Once you start working again some of your self esteem will come back. You will feel so much better. Your to young to be TIED down. You don't even have children yet for crying out loud. Be thankful you didn't have any with your husband. That would have been a mess. Then you would have had to deal with his mom every weekend, coming over trying to visit the baby, huh? LOL

Rae