My girlfriend has been clean for 3 years and has been on methadone and has been fine. She has been cutting down her dose (with no knowledge by her pharmcist). She then started using again. I found out and she said it was just the once. 3 weeks later and 1000's of lies and she is back on smack. She has lied, cheated and stolen from me. I called her parents and told them what is happening. Her father called her probation offfice and drug counceller and now she has gone mad at me. She has become a completely different person and is off day and night with other junkies, she even slept with one of them (she says she was out of it and it just happened). I really havent seen her for days. I don't know wether I should just walk away???
Before all this she said she was in love with me and wanted to be with me forever. She still says she loves me (or did till I told her father, now she hates me) but I can't understand how she can and act like this, when I have given everything.
I want to help but I don't know how or if I even can?
She now says she just hates me. I don't want to see her die and I had to let her family know, they have dealt with it before. I haven't.
I love her to bits but I don't think I can help or if she wants it or will let me. What should I do? Its impossible to talk to her, she gets angry and violent and is always needing to get somewhere. Shes a different person.
Maybe I have betrayed her but she was hiding it and her problems are getting worse. She now is saying she will have to go work as a prostitute as she has no money. I have given here money and she has stolen my money.
She was a completely different person before all this. Will she come out of it and should I stay or just go???
If she does get through it will she forgive me for telling her parents???
The only other addict I knew was my best mates brother and it killed him. I'll stand by her but all she is doing is destroying all around her and all she has achieved over the past 3 years.
Can it really get this bad in 3 weeks???
She was an addict for 6 years.
Any advice would be cool!
Cheers
I was not on heroin but on heavy pain pills for years. We call it hillbelly heroin
oc's. I have even been on methodone but that to is very addictive and withdrawl is hell. Your girlfriend should get back on her meth and get some counsling quick before she loses everything including you or herself from death trying to get high. I do not think you did any thing wrong going to her parents you love her and don't want to see her hurting herself. But, I do believe she is the only one that can change her. You can give her all the support she dids but I would not give her no money at all right now. I would also let her come to you since she is so angry and let her know it was out of true love is why you went to her parents. Good Luck basnest
oc's. I have even been on methodone but that to is very addictive and withdrawl is hell. Your girlfriend should get back on her meth and get some counsling quick before she loses everything including you or herself from death trying to get high. I do not think you did any thing wrong going to her parents you love her and don't want to see her hurting herself. But, I do believe she is the only one that can change her. You can give her all the support she dids but I would not give her no money at all right now. I would also let her come to you since she is so angry and let her know it was out of true love is why you went to her parents. Good Luck basnest
Jimbo, you did the right thing by calling her parents. If you are unfamiliar with her disease, it was the right thing to do. The reason she hates you is the same reason all addicts hate their loved ones or any friends who are trying to separate them from their H. They want the drug and by trying to get her away from it, you are interfering with her love for the drug. I have been hated may times. She does not look at you the same way when she is using. She cant. She has a disease and she is not in control of her own brain right now; H is. And yes, it can all happen in 3 weeks. All it takes is 3 minutes, really. Will she return to normal when she does get clean? Chances are quite good she will. Then shell understand you were only trying to help her.
You say you have given her everything but she does not seem to appreciate that. Again, she is not in control of her own brain. I too gave up everything for my former GF. I lost it all. All treasured possessions, my business, everything. My cost of standing by her was over $150,000. It was the most brutal thing I have ever been through in my life. In the end, she walked away. I was so depressed I wanted to end it all. Only now, 4 months later am I beginning to get my life back together. It will take me another 2 years to fully recover financially. I laugh sometimes when I hear someone say I would give everything I have to be with that woman. Would they really? I did it.
Should you stand by her? If you love her; yes. But think about what you are doing before you jump into it. Educate yourself on the disease of addiction and set limits on how far you will wade into this or how much you are willing to sacrifice. Talk to her parents and her counselor. NA has meetings for friends and family. Obviously the goal is for her to be clean. But how will she get there? Her own program for getting off Meth obviously did not go so well, but Im sure her intentions were good. Meth is harder to get off of than H.
If you choose to help her, you need to be flexible to your approach. What works well for one addict may not work at all for another. Be ready to change plans in advance. Since she did well apparently on Meth, it may be good for her to go back on it and find a different approach to wean her off it. I always preach counseling in here. She will need to reprogram her brain.
Good luck to you Jimbo.
You say you have given her everything but she does not seem to appreciate that. Again, she is not in control of her own brain. I too gave up everything for my former GF. I lost it all. All treasured possessions, my business, everything. My cost of standing by her was over $150,000. It was the most brutal thing I have ever been through in my life. In the end, she walked away. I was so depressed I wanted to end it all. Only now, 4 months later am I beginning to get my life back together. It will take me another 2 years to fully recover financially. I laugh sometimes when I hear someone say I would give everything I have to be with that woman. Would they really? I did it.
Should you stand by her? If you love her; yes. But think about what you are doing before you jump into it. Educate yourself on the disease of addiction and set limits on how far you will wade into this or how much you are willing to sacrifice. Talk to her parents and her counselor. NA has meetings for friends and family. Obviously the goal is for her to be clean. But how will she get there? Her own program for getting off Meth obviously did not go so well, but Im sure her intentions were good. Meth is harder to get off of than H.
If you choose to help her, you need to be flexible to your approach. What works well for one addict may not work at all for another. Be ready to change plans in advance. Since she did well apparently on Meth, it may be good for her to go back on it and find a different approach to wean her off it. I always preach counseling in here. She will need to reprogram her brain.
Good luck to you Jimbo.
David and Basnest
Thanks for your replies guys. Sometimes a reflection on a situation from others gives you the view you hold true.
She is out of control. I just have been texting messages of support and love to her and all I got was anger and anger, then one got through.
She said she loves me so much and has no idea why she is doing this to me and herself and can she see me tomorrow.
Why is she doing it???
It was the day of the week and time she picks up her meth. So she is still there. I don't count on seeing her tomorrow. We'll see, I'm just here.
Would she still be bothering taking her meth??
She was selling her excess to pay for Uni. Now I guess she just swaps it all. She gets her meth 2 x week as she has been so good. Would it be better if she went in everyday?
They think she is on 140 migs. She got down to 10 then stayed at 20 for about 3 weeks then started using. If they work out she has been selling it she will get locked up. She doesn't deserve that.
As for deciding how far I will stand by her. I don't know. I can't give up I love her. I believe in her. She just seems to be on it all the time now and all I get is lies. She hasn't yet said she is using all the time. I haven't really seen her in 6 days. Only quickly when I have tracked her down then she is off again.
Im mad enough to shop her dealers to the cops and get them all locked up but if she doesn't want to stop I have started a war with her and all the crims and junkies that will want to hang me out to dry. na dthey aren't the nicest of people from who I have seen her with.
Anyway thanks guys. Giving so much to someone and just getting lied and cheated to is hard and its a huge strength to know there are others out there.
Jimbo
Thanks for your replies guys. Sometimes a reflection on a situation from others gives you the view you hold true.
She is out of control. I just have been texting messages of support and love to her and all I got was anger and anger, then one got through.
She said she loves me so much and has no idea why she is doing this to me and herself and can she see me tomorrow.
Why is she doing it???
It was the day of the week and time she picks up her meth. So she is still there. I don't count on seeing her tomorrow. We'll see, I'm just here.
Would she still be bothering taking her meth??
She was selling her excess to pay for Uni. Now I guess she just swaps it all. She gets her meth 2 x week as she has been so good. Would it be better if she went in everyday?
They think she is on 140 migs. She got down to 10 then stayed at 20 for about 3 weeks then started using. If they work out she has been selling it she will get locked up. She doesn't deserve that.
As for deciding how far I will stand by her. I don't know. I can't give up I love her. I believe in her. She just seems to be on it all the time now and all I get is lies. She hasn't yet said she is using all the time. I haven't really seen her in 6 days. Only quickly when I have tracked her down then she is off again.
Im mad enough to shop her dealers to the cops and get them all locked up but if she doesn't want to stop I have started a war with her and all the crims and junkies that will want to hang me out to dry. na dthey aren't the nicest of people from who I have seen her with.
Anyway thanks guys. Giving so much to someone and just getting lied and cheated to is hard and its a huge strength to know there are others out there.
Jimbo