What a horrible night I had ! Chills, yet sweating and feverish w/headache, it was awful. I've had these symptoms before. It's weird, like it's a flu is coming on yet nothing ever comes out of it. I was asleep by 9:30 and had a using dream which had me so disappointed in myself when I woke up. It was very really realistic. What a relief to know I'm still on the path.
Time to make a Doctor appt. though, something is going on.
Have a great day everyone ! Do something fun !
love and Light,
Diana
Hi wonderwoman, those using/drinking dreams are wierd aren't they, I have had a couple, and like you said woke up dissapointed in myself. They were so real, I could remember every detail of taking the cork out, pouring the wine into a glass,etc. etc. etc. I just about had to check beside the bed to see if I had piddled..... hang in there and good luck
one day at a time, cookster
one day at a time, cookster
I thought I was over the dreaming thing....guess not. Having a pity party tonight. Looking forward to sunrise.
D
D
Diana...
I remember the first 6 months of recovery, I would get the symptoms you described right around my b-day, ie...30, 60, 90 day marks and it would last for a couple of nights and then my body would normalize....I can still have insomnia some nights but today, I am clean and sober and I have learned to be patient and allow my body to heal from all the years of alcohol & drug abuse...When I have those nights, I chalk it up to PAWS and reassure myself it's not forever and it does pass....
And the using/drinking dreams still happen occassionally, not very often but when I awake, I am so fearful that it was real and when I realize that it was what it was, just a using dream, I thank God right there that I'm no longer active in that insanity...I look at it as a reminder of where I was and how I don't ever want to go back to active addiction...I have noticed though they tend to occur when I am stressed or at a decision making point in my life and like Zac always says, my disease is waiting patiently and it might be trying to get to me through my subconscious since I tend to concentrate on recovery in my conscious thoughts....Cunning, baffling, powerful and patient...LOL...
You are doing awesome so don't let your disease take your focus off the big picture and remember, enjoy your day and live in the moments...
Take care,
Stacey
| QUOTE |
| It's weird, like it's a flu is coming on yet nothing ever comes out of it. |
I remember the first 6 months of recovery, I would get the symptoms you described right around my b-day, ie...30, 60, 90 day marks and it would last for a couple of nights and then my body would normalize....I can still have insomnia some nights but today, I am clean and sober and I have learned to be patient and allow my body to heal from all the years of alcohol & drug abuse...When I have those nights, I chalk it up to PAWS and reassure myself it's not forever and it does pass....
And the using/drinking dreams still happen occassionally, not very often but when I awake, I am so fearful that it was real and when I realize that it was what it was, just a using dream, I thank God right there that I'm no longer active in that insanity...I look at it as a reminder of where I was and how I don't ever want to go back to active addiction...I have noticed though they tend to occur when I am stressed or at a decision making point in my life and like Zac always says, my disease is waiting patiently and it might be trying to get to me through my subconscious since I tend to concentrate on recovery in my conscious thoughts....Cunning, baffling, powerful and patient...LOL...
You are doing awesome so don't let your disease take your focus off the big picture and remember, enjoy your day and live in the moments...
Take care,
Stacey
Thank you Stacey, had a chat with hubby last night about EVERYTHING. I sent him an email today...sheepishly apologizing...definitely recognized PAWS in my behaviour...poor guy he truly means no harm and I am super sensitive. All he kept saying was "I love you baby, I'm not trying to hurt you." I feel silly. But this feeling of non-psycho-ness lol is AWESOME ! I can handle "silly" quite well too. You brought up paws again regarding the body symptoms...somehow I had missed that...thanks gf.
When you said "Disease waiting patiently" Suddenly I'm inspired to draw/paint/color what that image looks like to me.......Stacey...do you have an inner artist in you ? How do you get creative ? Just curious...
Going for my 2:30 scheduled (lol yes I have to schedule it) meditation now....take care.
Love and Light,
Diana
When you said "Disease waiting patiently" Suddenly I'm inspired to draw/paint/color what that image looks like to me.......Stacey...do you have an inner artist in you ? How do you get creative ? Just curious...
Going for my 2:30 scheduled (lol yes I have to schedule it) meditation now....take care.
Love and Light,
Diana
Diana...
I read this last night before I left work and pondered on it last night...
Hmmm, I don't know....I know since getting clean and into recovery I am learning that I've neglected the inner child in me for many years, so I'm just now letting her out and getting to know her, if you get me...I do enjoy to read and I love flowers, fresh cut and arranging them & putting them through the house...I also love candles and spoil myself buying them but as far as getting creative, I'm still working on finding out what Stacey enjoys...For way too many years, I've always taken care of everybody else and never made time for me but hey, at least I'm working on it now instead of never figuring it out...lol
Thanks for asking...I'm going to think on this one some more...
xoxo
Stacey
I read this last night before I left work and pondered on it last night...
| QUOTE |
| Stacey...do you have an inner artist in you ? How do you get creative ? Just curious... |
Hmmm, I don't know....I know since getting clean and into recovery I am learning that I've neglected the inner child in me for many years, so I'm just now letting her out and getting to know her, if you get me...I do enjoy to read and I love flowers, fresh cut and arranging them & putting them through the house...I also love candles and spoil myself buying them but as far as getting creative, I'm still working on finding out what Stacey enjoys...For way too many years, I've always taken care of everybody else and never made time for me but hey, at least I'm working on it now instead of never figuring it out...lol
Thanks for asking...I'm going to think on this one some more...
xoxo
Stacey
