i'm sitting amongst all these well people.
all i can think of is how sick and tired i feel, it doesn't matter what i do or take. i still feel like rubbish and so tired i can't decide between screaming or crying out loud.
i'm so sick and tired of feeling sick and tired.
Hun: when we got here we werent the people we are now. We too were tired... sick... ashamed... full of guilt... unable to see a life without using... I could go on.
Through time and a hellava lot of WANT to be clean, alot of us have made it. Alot of us make it for awhile and relapse. Alot find this place and arent ready yet and disappear.
Welcome to the board and consider yourself lucky to have found it. Post often, no matter how you feel, good bad or indifferent. Or, just read and learn.
To be able to help you, the first thing we need to know is your drug of choice and how much you use. Would you like to share that with us? If not, fine. It is your recovery on your own time. I'll make the first step...
I was addicted to Xanax. I took 4 mils a day for a little over a yr. I didnt even know I was addicted. I didnt even know about addiction until the day I choose not to take my meds. By the grace of God, I was guided here and I was taught how to taper and I was successful.
I pray that we can do that for you, I own it to people to help them get clean because SO MANY people helped me. I have post tramatic stress syndrome and with that comes ALOT of anxiety. There were days I would have panic attacks and I would come here and say HELP ME! There was never a time I did that where someone didnt 'talk me down'. Meaning in my case, idle chit chat to divert my attention. Stick around here... let us help you.
Through time and a hellava lot of WANT to be clean, alot of us have made it. Alot of us make it for awhile and relapse. Alot find this place and arent ready yet and disappear.
Welcome to the board and consider yourself lucky to have found it. Post often, no matter how you feel, good bad or indifferent. Or, just read and learn.
To be able to help you, the first thing we need to know is your drug of choice and how much you use. Would you like to share that with us? If not, fine. It is your recovery on your own time. I'll make the first step...
I was addicted to Xanax. I took 4 mils a day for a little over a yr. I didnt even know I was addicted. I didnt even know about addiction until the day I choose not to take my meds. By the grace of God, I was guided here and I was taught how to taper and I was successful.
I pray that we can do that for you, I own it to people to help them get clean because SO MANY people helped me. I have post tramatic stress syndrome and with that comes ALOT of anxiety. There were days I would have panic attacks and I would come here and say HELP ME! There was never a time I did that where someone didnt 'talk me down'. Meaning in my case, idle chit chat to divert my attention. Stick around here... let us help you.
thank you, here goes:
I suffer from ibs, ulcerative colitis and a ulcer.
I was prescribed solpadol (paracetemol and strong codeine) about 6 years ago.
Just recently I've had ultram and the little things you put under your tongue.
I over use and binge on the painkillers and sometimes food or alchohol.
100 is supposed to last me two weeks but only lasts about a week.
I just want to lead a nornal life and not think about the pains in my stomach.
But it's so hard to break out of the circle and try to get better.
My family don't understand, my mum says they're fed up of me being ill. she's just happy I lost weight.
My husband just gets frustrated at me, he once got so angry he hit me.
only once, but isn't that enough.
my friemds just want the old me back.
I'm fed up of doping myself up, but when the pescription runs out I panic.
i'm sorry to whinge, but god i feel better after that.
I suffer from ibs, ulcerative colitis and a ulcer.
I was prescribed solpadol (paracetemol and strong codeine) about 6 years ago.
Just recently I've had ultram and the little things you put under your tongue.
I over use and binge on the painkillers and sometimes food or alchohol.
100 is supposed to last me two weeks but only lasts about a week.
I just want to lead a nornal life and not think about the pains in my stomach.
But it's so hard to break out of the circle and try to get better.
My family don't understand, my mum says they're fed up of me being ill. she's just happy I lost weight.
My husband just gets frustrated at me, he once got so angry he hit me.
only once, but isn't that enough.
my friemds just want the old me back.
I'm fed up of doping myself up, but when the pescription runs out I panic.
i'm sorry to whinge, but god i feel better after that.
Hun... you gotta get a support system going. I too had no support as my family didnt want to tolerate me unmedicated, so I can relate.
PLEASE, step number one, leave the alcohol alone. It adds to depression not to mention the fact it can be lethal with meds. Many times I ate xanax and got drunk... real drunk. Have no idea how I lived through that russian rullet. That is where I would start, no more alcohol. It impairs your judgement and allows your binging to progress because of the liquid courage.
Stay on this board... no matter what.... if it is only once a day that you visit. I am here to tell you, the more time you spend here, the more you want to be clean. I promise. However, some of us spend too much time here (like ALL DAY) and that cant be healthy either. Find a balance.
Are you female? If so, take a shower, fix yourself up and enjoy the day. That ALWAYS makes me feel soooooo much better. Think hard about why you over use and what triggers it.
Above all, try not to beat yourself up. Today, you are trying at least. Be proud of that. Think positive, you are a beautiful person. I know that for sure because God doesnt make mistakes.
PLEASE, step number one, leave the alcohol alone. It adds to depression not to mention the fact it can be lethal with meds. Many times I ate xanax and got drunk... real drunk. Have no idea how I lived through that russian rullet. That is where I would start, no more alcohol. It impairs your judgement and allows your binging to progress because of the liquid courage.
Stay on this board... no matter what.... if it is only once a day that you visit. I am here to tell you, the more time you spend here, the more you want to be clean. I promise. However, some of us spend too much time here (like ALL DAY) and that cant be healthy either. Find a balance.
Are you female? If so, take a shower, fix yourself up and enjoy the day. That ALWAYS makes me feel soooooo much better. Think hard about why you over use and what triggers it.
Above all, try not to beat yourself up. Today, you are trying at least. Be proud of that. Think positive, you are a beautiful person. I know that for sure because God doesnt make mistakes.
Kaela..Just wanted to let you know how proud I am of you. I am in awe of your strength.
Love
Lisa
Love
Lisa
Wallja, welcome to the board!! I hope you are feeling a little better after getting that off your chest. There is a very sweet and kind lady that used to be addicted to Ultram's, maybe she'll be along to help you real soon! She knows her stuff when it comes to that drug, and I think she can help you on what you need to do! God bless, and good luck, Kim
Hi wallja I know just how you feel.I have chrons and my DR put me on the Ultram 3 years ago.I understand just how addictive they are,Let me know how I can help...mj
Im sorry I need to add this.As far as staying on the board all day.That is true some people do.They do because THEY NEED TO BE HERE ALL DAY.I can speak from the heart on this.There have been days when my butt was here all day why????because I felt I needed that much support.To be on here kept my butt from doing something stupid.so I must say if you feel you EVER need to be hetre all day you wont be judged harshly......mj
Im sorry I need to add this.As far as staying on the board all day.That is true some people do.They do because THEY NEED TO BE HERE ALL DAY.I can speak from the heart on this.There have been days when my butt was here all day why????because I felt I needed that much support.To be on here kept my butt from doing something stupid.so I must say if you feel you EVER need to be hetre all day you wont be judged harshly......mj
bump
There are some days that I still need to be here most of the day and night.
I couldn't get clean before I joined this board... something to it? You bet.
Love
CG
I couldn't get clean before I joined this board... something to it? You bet.
Love
CG
I love you too Lisa.
As far as being here all day, as I said, visit as often as you like but if you sit in front of the pc all day that IS NOT healthy. At least walk outside and get some fresh air. That is what I was referring to.
I am sitting in the car right now waiting for my husband to come out of a meeting so I am lucky in the sense that I can be away from home and still have the luxury of hanging out with ya'll. I wouldnt want to have to wait all day to drop in and see about everyone. I also wouldnt want to be online all day because I understand the importance of getting up and moving around... it does wonders for me in regards to depression. Sitting around all day makes me feel badly.
As far as being here all day, as I said, visit as often as you like but if you sit in front of the pc all day that IS NOT healthy. At least walk outside and get some fresh air. That is what I was referring to.
I am sitting in the car right now waiting for my husband to come out of a meeting so I am lucky in the sense that I can be away from home and still have the luxury of hanging out with ya'll. I wouldnt want to have to wait all day to drop in and see about everyone. I also wouldnt want to be online all day because I understand the importance of getting up and moving around... it does wonders for me in regards to depression. Sitting around all day makes me feel badly.
