My 28 yr old son has been using off and on (mostly on) for 16 yrs. I've worked hard
to detach w/love from him during those yrs. Now he's had a new bottom. If it were just him, I could let go. But now, he and his wife have 2 little boys. Any suggestions on letting go when there are grandkids involved would be most welcome. Also, has anyone ever been to a "Learn to Cope" meeting and what was it like? Thanks in advance.
Hi Gebe,
Yes that is a different situation. Why is the mother not leaving and taking care of the children? Does she use as well? If so, I think I would contact CPS. The children are in danger and not being taken care of. Maybe try an intervention with other family members and offer to watch the children while he or they get help ???Its only suggestions. I have never heard of a meeting called How to Cope. I would suggest staying on this forum (great people and support) but you need to go be with people also (Alanon would be beneficial). Just remember....YOU cannot fix this, only he can but I would try to get the children out of that situation if the mother isn't.
Good luck,
Hugs & Prayers
Paula
Yes that is a different situation. Why is the mother not leaving and taking care of the children? Does she use as well? If so, I think I would contact CPS. The children are in danger and not being taken care of. Maybe try an intervention with other family members and offer to watch the children while he or they get help ???Its only suggestions. I have never heard of a meeting called How to Cope. I would suggest staying on this forum (great people and support) but you need to go be with people also (Alanon would be beneficial). Just remember....YOU cannot fix this, only he can but I would try to get the children out of that situation if the mother isn't.
Good luck,
Hugs & Prayers
Paula
Hey Gebe,
I googled the How to Cope and Family Alanon meetings was attached to it. I think that is what is meant. Coping by going to Alanon meetings. You may need to find several until you find the right one for you. I wasn't sure until about the 5th meting and then I knew I was in the right place. Great people who care and understand what you are going through.
Take care
Paula
I googled the How to Cope and Family Alanon meetings was attached to it. I think that is what is meant. Coping by going to Alanon meetings. You may need to find several until you find the right one for you. I wasn't sure until about the 5th meting and then I knew I was in the right place. Great people who care and understand what you are going through.
Take care
Paula
Hi GeBe, I know you feel like your between the devil and the deep blue sea. I've been there and at times still get dragged back. My biggest concern would be for the children. If he's an addict chances are his wife is too. When their doing drugs they don't think about eating and they may sometimes forget to wash and feed the kids. I know because I have my grandchild living with me. If you get a chance or can go over their house, check on how the kids look. I'm sure they love their kids but the interest is only in drugs and nothing else! Child Welfare will most likely be called into investigate if they find out that a drug addict is living where there's children. I'm not trying to frighten you but it's a whole new ball game once kids are involved. You should look into having the kids come stay with you if it's possible.Because chances are their being neglected. Do you have any other family members who might help you. Your doing the right thing going to one of those meetings. You'll get help and advice there. Good luck to you. Mary.
