Having A Really Rough Day

Isn't it weird how one day you can be fine and then the next day you feel like ripping your hair out? I'm having one of those days. I'm just in a BAD mood. My husband is getting on my nerves (and this time he didn't really do anything to set me off). My daughter and neice are outside playing in the pool and I don't feel like going out there. The heat is even pi**ing me off! I need to take a shower and haven't done that yet. My grandmother is in the hospital and I have been to lazy to go visit her. My goodness, I could write a country western song about my attitude today! I guess the day is still early and maybe things will turn around. Well, I just wanted to brighten everyone's day with the little ray of sunshine that I am. LOL!

Shelly
Dear Shelly,

I think we all have days like this. But you can turn it around, even just a little. Do just one of those things you listed that you need or wanted to do. Maybe start with the shower lol? Usually when I get in that yucky mood, I have to force myself to do things and I feel much better afterward. The shower just might brighten you up enough to get out and do something. Sorry to hear Grandma is in the hospital. Maybe a small vase of flowers or just seeing her granddaughter would bring a smile to her face...and yours too. Or.......just do the shower, hang out at the house, read a good book, watch something silly on tv...I love "What Not To Wear" in the afternoons when I can catch it.

I bitched last week about getting my kitchen painted, now I am in the middle of it and have to force myself to do a little more each day. My kitchen looks like yucca flats after the blast!!! Cupboards all emptied out and stuff in boxes...ugh...But the results will be worth it. So I push. Just a little each day.

You still have a lot of the day left Shelly. Go for it!

Hugs,

Jan
I agree with Jan....I was told early in my recovery that I can start my day over at anytime...there are days when I have to just Pause, ask God to relieve me of my worries, my attitude and to help me to see his Will, and most of the time after praying & giving the negative to him, the positives shines through...

Shelly,
You can start your day over at anytime....here's to a better, blessed rest of the day....

Take care,
Stacey
Hi Shelly,

We must pop in at different times. I respond to your posts, but, I think I am too late for you to see them.

When I read how your day was going, I was about to say the same thing Stacey said, " that you can start your day over at anytime".

Sometimes though, it helps not to fight your feelings. If you are feeling sad, and you just want to feel sad for awhile, give yourself some time to indulge in the sadness. Listen to sad songs, watch a sad movie, cry if you want, and get it all out. Give yourself a certain amount of time for this and then move on.

Having a bad day will make the good days feel so much better, you know the ying and the yang.

But know, that popping pills would just make all this worse because you would have the guilt, and the shame, and the sham that is pill popping added to the bad day.

If you want to feel better, take a thought that makes you feel good, like remembering a hug from your little girl, or a good day that you had with you family, or something that made you laugh and dwell on that until you start to feel better.

Breathe in and out ( like Gina always says, focus on your breathing ). Zone out for awhile.

Start your gratitude journal or continue it.

Just know that this feeling, too ,will pass and that what you are feeling is genuine, not some trumped up pill popping high ( or low ).

What always makes me feel better is some physical exercise or work, taking a brisk walk or run, gardening, you could even play tag with your daughter and her friend.

Hope you're feeling better soon!

Gracie
Hi Shelly,
We all have bad days. Even normies have days and feelings like this. Just know that it will pass. It's okay to feel this way sometimes, it's what makes us human. It's just that now we have to feel them and not be numb. That's a new thing for us. You really can start your day over at any time (well said, Stacey) or you can look forward to tomorrow being a much better one.
xxxxxxxooooooo
Thanks Jan, Stacey, and Gracie. I'm feeling a little better then when I first posted this. I am having a lazy day and not going to feel guilty about it. It's so hot that I don't want to be outside. I think once my neice leaves my daughter and I will just lay around and watch a movie. My sister-in-law and her husband are coming to stay with us from July 1-5. I must admit this has me very stressed out. I love her to death but I hate having people stay with us. I think I want everything to be perfect that I end up feeling like I've failed. I really have to get myself in the right frame of mind for this visit.
Gracie, you amaze me. You always have a kind word for me and a positive attitude. I know we have the same amount of clean time but I learn so much from you and really look up to you.

Shelly
You know, Shelly, I hate having company too.

It seemed easier when I was being powered by pain pills and able to get everything done and have it be "perfect." I now realize that the cost of "perfect on pain pills" is too high.

What you don't get done, you don't get done. This is who you are and this is what you house is, chances are, your company will be glad that they won't have to measure up to such " perfection."

If I remember these things having company is not so bad.

You know, I still have not put all the screens in my windows or even washed my windows, something I have done every spring and fall. But, for the last few years, I was always on something to get a buzz to get it done.

At first it bothered me, but, now I know it is more important for me to be clean than for my windows to be clean.

Enjoy the movie with your husband.

Gracie

God bless being able to start your day over at any time...it's a life saver.

Shelly, my mom always told me, "I'm coming to visit YOU, not your house"
Thanks again everyone. I have had a rollercoaster day. I have a question for the women on here. Did you ever in early recovery feel like you wanted a divorce or noticed a lot of problems in your relationship? I'm really not joking. Sometimes the hurt and anger I hold in becomes so strong it makes me physically ill. I know I deserve a lot of it, but I am still a human. I feel split. I love my husband and I don't want to split up but I don't know how to go on like this. I know that he basically feels the same way. He wants to stay together but he also wants things to change. I doubt I could get him to marraige counseling and right now I don't really want to go to counseling with him. I want to work on myself by myself. Has anyone else shared these feelings? Does this even make any sense?

Shelly
There have been times, Shelly, when I wanted out of our marriage, but, honestly, not since I have been in recovery.

I do know there are ups and downs in a marriage just like there is in life. There are times when you feel distant and times when you feel close.

I am not sure what is going on with the feelings that you and your husband are feeling or why you may be having these feelings. I can offer a listening ear, but in suggesting any advice, I am clueless.

Perhaps there are memebrs here with some insight.

Gracie
Shelly,

Haha funny you should mention this issue. Not funny really. I think I numbed out to avoid the things in my marriage that needed to be addressed. And now that I am clean the same problems are there. Counseling helped some. He wasn't really interested in going. Then when I stopped all of a sudden he wanted to go? Huh? Was he waiting for me to do all the work, come home with all the answers and when that didn't happen ok now he's willing to go?

Now there are other physical issues I am trying to deal with, and our personal issues remain simmering just below the surface and sometimes bubble up and over. (like tonight) The thing is all the junk will have to be face and dealt with sooner or later. I have the feeling it will be sooner.

So yeah, I understand what you are saying, you make perfect sense. I only wish I had some words of wisdom for you. If you are really committed to the marriage it will be tough but hopefully you can overcome the issues. If not?
Your guess is as good as mine. Pray...

Jan