Im trying everything to fight this feeling, thinking of all the bad things that have happened ....etc. Its crazy i'm not only thinking about how good the high feels but the whole process, getting the stuff mixing it with wather drawing it up and finding the vein, The little voice in the back of my head keeps interupting my thoughts telling me i can do it one more time, but I know its just my addiction> God this is so hard , I feel like I have a devil on one shoulder and a angel on the other,constantey batteling. Its driving me crazy. I keep going back and forth saying to myself its not worth it, and then saying screw it just go gert high, I'm really trying hard this time its been 12 days without using, but I am struggling.. thanks for listening I guess I just needed to vent.... Gina
Ginaaaaaaaaaaa,
Twelve days chica? Give you some credit. That's fantabulous. No easy feat is 12 days.
Ain't it weird it's like all this internal dialogue and you have to talk yourself down................tell yoursel you pick up and you're back to square one......yeah, Day 10 to like 14 I think it the toughest..........but look we all did it............can't say we didn't screw up sometimes, but ultimately now most of us have done it.
Gina, sometimes it helps if ya say..............not one time today will I use and that's that..........so that devil can scram.
It is really hard..........harder than anyone knows who never used.........PLUS your emotions and all are all over the place..........checmicals in the brain trying to get back to their right place..................give it a chance, Gina and see what Day 13 feels like and then on and on.
You can do this, but he*l yeah it's tough...........nothing a fine upstanding tough heroin addict like us can't beat............and you're right it's never just one more.
Gina, YOU KNOW TOO THIS IS A DANGEROUS TIME..............so many OD's when picking up when newly clean...........you had enough of that.......just stay tough babes..............I got faith in you.
Twelve days chica? Give you some credit. That's fantabulous. No easy feat is 12 days.
Ain't it weird it's like all this internal dialogue and you have to talk yourself down................tell yoursel you pick up and you're back to square one......yeah, Day 10 to like 14 I think it the toughest..........but look we all did it............can't say we didn't screw up sometimes, but ultimately now most of us have done it.
Gina, sometimes it helps if ya say..............not one time today will I use and that's that..........so that devil can scram.
It is really hard..........harder than anyone knows who never used.........PLUS your emotions and all are all over the place..........checmicals in the brain trying to get back to their right place..................give it a chance, Gina and see what Day 13 feels like and then on and on.
You can do this, but he*l yeah it's tough...........nothing a fine upstanding tough heroin addict like us can't beat............and you're right it's never just one more.
Gina, YOU KNOW TOO THIS IS A DANGEROUS TIME..............so many OD's when picking up when newly clean...........you had enough of that.......just stay tough babes..............I got faith in you.
bryns right Bellabee :),
Got to be one of the toughest times, that first two weeks, remember bryn talking me out of it too...and shes right, nothing us damn tough heroin addicts cant beat ...you can do it !! Im at 3 months clean myself this week !! It CAN be done...tough, hell ya...really really hard sometimes, even now...but all these good peole here did it...hang in there BellaBee...your doing great !! :)
Got to be one of the toughest times, that first two weeks, remember bryn talking me out of it too...and shes right, nothing us damn tough heroin addicts cant beat ...you can do it !! Im at 3 months clean myself this week !! It CAN be done...tough, hell ya...really really hard sometimes, even now...but all these good peole here did it...hang in there BellaBee...your doing great !! :)
Hey Gina! I picked up just once about 4 months ago and never stopped since Gina. I would swap my left arm to be where you are right now babes. Don't give in. You know the cravings pass, even if they are making you crazy at times. Keep yourself busy, read your goodbye letter over and over again, stay away from old places , people etc. and it will pass. Stay strong, really feeling for you.
Linz x
Linz x
Hey Gina well done on the days!! you're doing so well. You will get thoughts like that sometimes, but you don't have to act on them. We know it's not easy, f***, we know. You know yourself what is waiting for you if you pick up again. I hope you don't. Try and keep yourself occupied, keep posting on here, listen to what gets said as alot of experience on this board, and help. We all know you can do it gina,we are here for you if you need a blether ( chat) Take care, Kev
Linz, my scottish sister, how's you? Is it dreekit down your way? Hope all is well, Kev
Linz, my scottish sister, how's you? Is it dreekit down your way? Hope all is well, Kev
Hey Kev. Aye it's pishin doon here likes mate. The roads are flooded and treacherous! I know we are used to the rain but this past few weeks has really been kicking the a*se out of it eh?
Been lurking on here reading everyone's posts. Feel a bit of a hypocrite giving out advice when I'm still bang into my last relapse but hey, I still care and still want to help. Going to try again this weekend to get off. Got some Diffs and going to give it my best shot. As soon as I do manage it, I'm going back on the Naltrexone, they were a lifesaver for me last time till I thought I could manage without them!!!!
Great you've moved in with the misses, or she moved in with you didn't she? All good mate, shows you're heading right back down that normality road. You're doing great yourself mate, keep it up!
Anyways, take care bus, speak soon.
Linz x
Been lurking on here reading everyone's posts. Feel a bit of a hypocrite giving out advice when I'm still bang into my last relapse but hey, I still care and still want to help. Going to try again this weekend to get off. Got some Diffs and going to give it my best shot. As soon as I do manage it, I'm going back on the Naltrexone, they were a lifesaver for me last time till I thought I could manage without them!!!!
Great you've moved in with the misses, or she moved in with you didn't she? All good mate, shows you're heading right back down that normality road. You're doing great yourself mate, keep it up!
Anyways, take care bus, speak soon.
Linz x
Linz, the wheelie bins were foating down the streets in the town earlier. I had to work in it as things were needed put inside the site...nightmare! Soaked to the bone i was haha. No, you're no a hypocrite, just cause you're using , you can( and do) give good advice. Your opinion is valued here, you know that!
Getting back on the nal seams a good idea, if it helped you last time give it a go again. It is my main foundation at the moment, keeps me clean! Have you been to any gigs, events at the festival? Anything you recommend? Take it easy, Kev
Getting back on the nal seams a good idea, if it helped you last time give it a go again. It is my main foundation at the moment, keeps me clean! Have you been to any gigs, events at the festival? Anything you recommend? Take it easy, Kev
The cravings go away with time. It takes a very long time for them to fully go away, but it gets better the longer you stay clean. I've been clean for 18 months now. I still get cravings and it is only bad when I'm feeling stressed out with life.
Bellabee,
Just wondering how you're doing now....
Just wondering how you're doing now....
