Hi, this is sort of a first for me but I need to talk to people wh oare going through the same thing as me.
I started doing drugs in grade school, I started with huffing and all that stupidty then I got into everthing X, coke, pot, etc...
Then I was introduced to Smack and loved it from the begging. I even mahaged to keep my habit a complete secret from the world. It wore me down to the point that I knew I had to choose. I finelly got completly clean by going cold turkey. I wont explain to you all how hard that was simply because I cant.
I had been clean for years and slipped up by shooting up with some lady I didnt even know. Now here I am a month or so later and im battling staying clean again. I havent used again once but its there, literally I have a large quanttity under my bed. I just cant get myself to toss it. im also abusing my meds and canned air a bit.
I have too much in my life to throw it away. I guess I just really need someone to talk to, as my freinds have no real idea what im going through ya know? Anyways if any one feels up to it. My email is fish_guts60@hotmail.com
Thanks a hole bunch for reading my long boring story.
MothMan, You came to the right place. We've all done it. Been there. First step like this is awesome.
Everybody here helps eachother. You "LAPSED". You didn't "RELAPSE"
It's been a month, and you still got the dope? Toss it. I KNOW I KNOW please do I KNOW how hard that is, but if it's there it calls you all the time. You hear your name and it beckons. I can't preach, but I can tell you it has to go, and if you haven't used since a month ago than it's not meant to be. Why tempt fate?
I can actually hear that wanting in your words. Man, I know that feeling and the emotion that goes with it. So do you of course. I got two years an some, and I can tell you if I had that under my bed no doubt I'd do it, and then what?
People say after you have been clean for so long and you totally relapse you go down fast. Real fast. Like times it by when you regularly used. You will lose EVERYTHING. Not to mention maybe even your life.
The dope out there now is got that fentanyl in it, and even everyday users with high tolerance are just dropping dead. You don't want to die with that stigma hanging on ya.Honestly.
I'll try to e-mail ya. If I don't get through PLEASE keep posting. Sounds like you are in the States, but people here are from the UK will be on soon too. I'm up this late because I waited for my teen, and she was on time, and now I am just up. Should have slept hours ago.
I know this is torturing you. Hang here. Read some posts when ya get a better grip. Ya know later on. Hey, writing on this Board is not easy. You want that help. It's always here. I can empathize. We all can here. Welcome to one great big giant step. You did a good thing.
Everybody here helps eachother. You "LAPSED". You didn't "RELAPSE"
It's been a month, and you still got the dope? Toss it. I KNOW I KNOW please do I KNOW how hard that is, but if it's there it calls you all the time. You hear your name and it beckons. I can't preach, but I can tell you it has to go, and if you haven't used since a month ago than it's not meant to be. Why tempt fate?
I can actually hear that wanting in your words. Man, I know that feeling and the emotion that goes with it. So do you of course. I got two years an some, and I can tell you if I had that under my bed no doubt I'd do it, and then what?
People say after you have been clean for so long and you totally relapse you go down fast. Real fast. Like times it by when you regularly used. You will lose EVERYTHING. Not to mention maybe even your life.
The dope out there now is got that fentanyl in it, and even everyday users with high tolerance are just dropping dead. You don't want to die with that stigma hanging on ya.Honestly.
I'll try to e-mail ya. If I don't get through PLEASE keep posting. Sounds like you are in the States, but people here are from the UK will be on soon too. I'm up this late because I waited for my teen, and she was on time, and now I am just up. Should have slept hours ago.
I know this is torturing you. Hang here. Read some posts when ya get a better grip. Ya know later on. Hey, writing on this Board is not easy. You want that help. It's always here. I can empathize. We all can here. Welcome to one great big giant step. You did a good thing.
thanks alot man. your words helped alot, just thought id tell ya.
its getting to the point were all i think of is crap like "i deserve it" its like I know its all excuses but I wanna believe em....
anyways thanks for taking the time to talk
its getting to the point were all i think of is crap like "i deserve it" its like I know its all excuses but I wanna believe em....
anyways thanks for taking the time to talk
Alright..Mothman as our Bryn said you have come to a good place,you can vent,chat,get info,without anyone judging you here&when yer a addict,recoverd or recovering its good backup.mate having the smack still under the bed!!jes,i could not do that,so as hard as it might be dump it,coz as you know ,it being a large amount ,as you said,there is only two ways its gonna go, into you or down the toilet.At the end of the day its still s***.Choice is yours....all the best ...Davey
