ok so he does meth, and he is thinking about moving out of state to escapse it, and we are in arizona, and EVERYONE here that i asked, wants him to stay, but we cant think of how to convience him to! Please help?
Mybfneedshelp,
I am sure you have heard the old saying that you can't run from you're problems in life. Well who ever was the wise person that coined that phrase is correct I know from personal exp. Running is not the answer. His prblem will be there waiting for him.
Untill he admits to himself that he is an addict and if he truly wants to live a clean life it will only happen then when he sees what the real problem is. I know I found out the real problem and it was me. not my girlfriend, parents, party friends ect.
The sooner this becomes evident to him and the sooner he reaches out for help, the sooner he will find peace and true happinness. It has to be something he truly wants and the only way to acheive peace, happiness and freedom is for him to learn to find ways of coping with life on lifes terms not his. I pray for you and him that he is able to learn this before he is a slave to the beast.
Blessings
Coolbeans
I am sure you have heard the old saying that you can't run from you're problems in life. Well who ever was the wise person that coined that phrase is correct I know from personal exp. Running is not the answer. His prblem will be there waiting for him.
Untill he admits to himself that he is an addict and if he truly wants to live a clean life it will only happen then when he sees what the real problem is. I know I found out the real problem and it was me. not my girlfriend, parents, party friends ect.
The sooner this becomes evident to him and the sooner he reaches out for help, the sooner he will find peace and true happinness. It has to be something he truly wants and the only way to acheive peace, happiness and freedom is for him to learn to find ways of coping with life on lifes terms not his. I pray for you and him that he is able to learn this before he is a slave to the beast.
Blessings
Coolbeans
I moved away from California because meth was way to accessible , and cheap . Quitting took more than just admitting I was addicted. I realized my addiction years ago . I kept wanting to quit but the access and the cravings for meth kept overpowering me .
The only way for me to gain the strength to stay away from meth was to move where I had no access. Sure it is just a matter of time before I do , but in the meantime I have been clean for over 5 months now.
The longer one goes without using the easier it is to not use. It is not as easy as saying I am no longer using . It takes more than admitting you are an addict want recovery in your life . Using meth for a period of time alters your brain chemistry ...Meth replaces everything that makes us feel good about our lives ,.....when stopping meth use ...it takes a while before the brain and mind gets back to normal
I applaud addicts who can maintain their recovery in the face of there old contacts , their old friends ......many of whom still use. However maybe that is why so many fail at recovery ....they dont change enough of their old lives...they stay surrounded by the triggers that cause use, they stay exposed to more of their drug, they never get away from it long enough to have the strength it takes to not use.
It pisses me off when someone says that all it takes is admitting their problem and having commitment to recovery ......Meth addiction is not that easy for all to recover from ....If moving is an option ....take it , just remember meth is everywhere .....so it will be just a matter of time before he will be tested as to how badly he wants recovery ........it was 4 months or so when I was first tested by being near someone with meth .....all I had to do was say "hey, I'll take it off your hands" it was close ...but I held fast to my recovery ....
I wish you and your BF the best ....I do hope he makes the decision to quit , even if it means moving .....it took me 35 years to stop using ....read through these posts ....one recent one in particular ...Her life was completely turned upside down and messed up in only 4 months ....
If we can be of any help or you need to vent , there are a few of us here that have been there...done that ... and want to help .....AL
The only way for me to gain the strength to stay away from meth was to move where I had no access. Sure it is just a matter of time before I do , but in the meantime I have been clean for over 5 months now.
The longer one goes without using the easier it is to not use. It is not as easy as saying I am no longer using . It takes more than admitting you are an addict want recovery in your life . Using meth for a period of time alters your brain chemistry ...Meth replaces everything that makes us feel good about our lives ,.....when stopping meth use ...it takes a while before the brain and mind gets back to normal
I applaud addicts who can maintain their recovery in the face of there old contacts , their old friends ......many of whom still use. However maybe that is why so many fail at recovery ....they dont change enough of their old lives...they stay surrounded by the triggers that cause use, they stay exposed to more of their drug, they never get away from it long enough to have the strength it takes to not use.
It pisses me off when someone says that all it takes is admitting their problem and having commitment to recovery ......Meth addiction is not that easy for all to recover from ....If moving is an option ....take it , just remember meth is everywhere .....so it will be just a matter of time before he will be tested as to how badly he wants recovery ........it was 4 months or so when I was first tested by being near someone with meth .....all I had to do was say "hey, I'll take it off your hands" it was close ...but I held fast to my recovery ....
I wish you and your BF the best ....I do hope he makes the decision to quit , even if it means moving .....it took me 35 years to stop using ....read through these posts ....one recent one in particular ...Her life was completely turned upside down and messed up in only 4 months ....
If we can be of any help or you need to vent , there are a few of us here that have been there...done that ... and want to help .....AL
Justonemore , Sorry for pissing you off. As you say it is available everywhere. From your reply I get the feeling you have been cured. Congrats! job well done
Coolbeans
Coolbeans
Thanks. You guys are probably the first people to ask, "are you sure you want a bf like that?"
You guys have some good ideas to help, but here is what we tried. We tried to get him to go back to school, so that his extra time that he could be getting or using, would be cut down. We also tried to get him to go to church. Nothing is working. He says its too late to go to school, and that he doesn't want to go to church. I don't want to go to church anymore than he does, but im willing to, if he does.
The reason we don't want him to go to his sister's house is that she does it too. And that won't help. Any other suggestions?
You guys have some good ideas to help, but here is what we tried. We tried to get him to go back to school, so that his extra time that he could be getting or using, would be cut down. We also tried to get him to go to church. Nothing is working. He says its too late to go to school, and that he doesn't want to go to church. I don't want to go to church anymore than he does, but im willing to, if he does.
The reason we don't want him to go to his sister's house is that she does it too. And that won't help. Any other suggestions?
Every body kind of has to find their own path to recovery . There are a lot of meetings one can go to in most every city . They prove invaluable to a lot of people but not all ....ya kind of have to shop around to find one with the right chemistry.
Your support of him is great , that will help ....hopefully . Why does he say it is too late for school?? it is never too late ..... I am 50 years old and am thinking of taking some classes to pass the time ....possibly work towards getting into becoming a drug counselor ....who knows??
If he really wants to quit , he will make the necessary steps towards that goal. It is not easy , especially in a world that is full of a "go-go-go" mentality. He may slip and use from time to time ... he needs to not get down on himself for failures , but learn from them ...find the triggers of use . then avoid them if possible .
To cool beans.....I will never consider myself cured. Not to meth . Every other drug I have used and abused, but have settled down to avoiding them without trouble . Meth has been such a big part of my life for so long . I can never consider myself "cured" ...merely an addict with his addiction under control. I am always going to be justonemore hit of meth away from being right back where I was about 5 months ago . I guess part of the reason it pisses me off to say just quit .....is because I was too weak against meth to do that . And "macho" law prohibits weakness lol .
Hang in there , meth can be beat and life does get better
AL
Your support of him is great , that will help ....hopefully . Why does he say it is too late for school?? it is never too late ..... I am 50 years old and am thinking of taking some classes to pass the time ....possibly work towards getting into becoming a drug counselor ....who knows??
If he really wants to quit , he will make the necessary steps towards that goal. It is not easy , especially in a world that is full of a "go-go-go" mentality. He may slip and use from time to time ... he needs to not get down on himself for failures , but learn from them ...find the triggers of use . then avoid them if possible .
To cool beans.....I will never consider myself cured. Not to meth . Every other drug I have used and abused, but have settled down to avoiding them without trouble . Meth has been such a big part of my life for so long . I can never consider myself "cured" ...merely an addict with his addiction under control. I am always going to be justonemore hit of meth away from being right back where I was about 5 months ago . I guess part of the reason it pisses me off to say just quit .....is because I was too weak against meth to do that . And "macho" law prohibits weakness lol .
Hang in there , meth can be beat and life does get better
AL
Yes, I am devoted to helping him as much as i can, and from what it seems, his mom wants us too. She doesn't care that he gets high, but she does care, that it is bad for him. If thats makes ANY sense. She thinks if she says no, then, he will do it more. I need to get his home phone number, and talk to his mom. lol!
I wanna help SO bad. I don't want him hurting like this. I just heard his dealer cut his thumb off trying to fix his car while he was high. Ew right? Well, his mom foudn out he was high, and sent him out of the city, about two hours from us. That's one dealer down, 13 more to go. I don't know if i can help, but it seems like he likes us all telling him we are there, and not to leave. I talk to him on the phone and he seems SO much easier, when talking to us.
He won't go to support groups, so i did. Kinda. I just look and ask how I can help. Seems to work just fine. He, however, meets people with the same problem, and tells them how to fix it, but he can't do it for him self.
I don't know why,
-Sammie-
I wanna help SO bad. I don't want him hurting like this. I just heard his dealer cut his thumb off trying to fix his car while he was high. Ew right? Well, his mom foudn out he was high, and sent him out of the city, about two hours from us. That's one dealer down, 13 more to go. I don't know if i can help, but it seems like he likes us all telling him we are there, and not to leave. I talk to him on the phone and he seems SO much easier, when talking to us.
He won't go to support groups, so i did. Kinda. I just look and ask how I can help. Seems to work just fine. He, however, meets people with the same problem, and tells them how to fix it, but he can't do it for him self.
I don't know why,
-Sammie-
Also...
Some people have told us that, since i don't do it, he should hang out with me as MUCH as he can. Which could be a good thing, or a bad. Cause there is NO way i will do it, or know anyone that deals. But i have school, which is why we want him to go ot school.
Done.. :)
-Sammie-
Some people have told us that, since i don't do it, he should hang out with me as MUCH as he can. Which could be a good thing, or a bad. Cause there is NO way i will do it, or know anyone that deals. But i have school, which is why we want him to go ot school.
Done.. :)
-Sammie-
Hanging out with other people that use will never help him in the slightest . Being around people who do not will .
Getting high and doing things is part of the trap , people will think they are accomplishing a lot while high, but part of the problem is ....EVERYTHING in a users life will become based on using meth first. I could never do anything with out first doing meth. Once I quit ....it took a LONG time before I was able to just up and go do something, without the usual kick into gear.
My advice would be to express your desire for him to not use meth any longer , but without being too pushy or bitchy about it ... try being cool about his use just enough that he does not hide his use . Then in non-bitchy ways , express or show that you wish he would decide to not use . Does that make any sense ???
If you read through posts of others dealing with meth you will see that meth causes people to lie their asses off to themselves as well as others ..I would bet my last dollar that there are more "closet" meth users out there than anyone has a clue . Keeping a meth addict honest is a trick in itself so best of luck
Geez, I hope y'all were able to make sense of what I wrote , I sorta confused myself a bit lol ...................
AL
Getting high and doing things is part of the trap , people will think they are accomplishing a lot while high, but part of the problem is ....EVERYTHING in a users life will become based on using meth first. I could never do anything with out first doing meth. Once I quit ....it took a LONG time before I was able to just up and go do something, without the usual kick into gear.
My advice would be to express your desire for him to not use meth any longer , but without being too pushy or bitchy about it ... try being cool about his use just enough that he does not hide his use . Then in non-bitchy ways , express or show that you wish he would decide to not use . Does that make any sense ???
If you read through posts of others dealing with meth you will see that meth causes people to lie their asses off to themselves as well as others ..I would bet my last dollar that there are more "closet" meth users out there than anyone has a clue . Keeping a meth addict honest is a trick in itself so best of luck
Geez, I hope y'all were able to make sense of what I wrote , I sorta confused myself a bit lol ...................
AL
Yeah, i have told him that i feel strongly about him stopping. But, i don't think it is processing. He tells me when he uses, he calles me or texts me, just so i know, that when he is coming down from the high, not to call, becuase he is pissed when he is cooming down. Like really pissed.
When he is high, he sees this little ball, named Chaos. He says not to follow it, cause it leads to chaos. i don't understand. And he says i don't exist, cause he is in his own world, a white room with shadow creatures, and no one can see them. I asked to tell him hi, and he goes NO! that's my friend. And he says, when he goes to look at his shadow friends, they aren't there, but if he just talks, they are.
He will sometimes randomly pick up the phone, not answer it, but talk still, to his friend Chaos.
I don't know what to do anymore for him,
-sammie-
When he is high, he sees this little ball, named Chaos. He says not to follow it, cause it leads to chaos. i don't understand. And he says i don't exist, cause he is in his own world, a white room with shadow creatures, and no one can see them. I asked to tell him hi, and he goes NO! that's my friend. And he says, when he goes to look at his shadow friends, they aren't there, but if he just talks, they are.
He will sometimes randomly pick up the phone, not answer it, but talk still, to his friend Chaos.
I don't know what to do anymore for him,
-sammie-
I'm still trippin on your last post . He actually gets that far out there?? is he serious or just havin fun with you when he is talking to Chaos?? How much meth is he using? how does he use it ? smoke, inject, snort? and are you sure he isnt using more than meth??
kind of dumbfounded , I never met Chaos.....AL
kind of dumbfounded , I never met Chaos.....AL
well, he only does like a bowl, and i had a friend that saw a purple bunny. i guess it depends on who you are. yeah he is only using meth, and it is smoking, not anything else.
he might be playing tricks on me, i dont know. he told me that i didnt exist and that the next day he wouldn't remember saying that, so maybe he is lying. i dont know.
-sorry i am typingin the dark, lol,
-sammie
he might be playing tricks on me, i dont know. he told me that i didnt exist and that the next day he wouldn't remember saying that, so maybe he is lying. i dont know.
-sorry i am typingin the dark, lol,
-sammie
Sounds bizarre to me on that little, I had a friend after being up for over a week, while driving down the road , looked over to see a giant mouse, peddling a giant eggbeater down the road alongside him......
Sorry - you haven't "met" me yet or anything. I'm just a throwing my opinion in, or my 2 cents worth. I'd bet 95 out of a 100, that he is definitely pulling your leg. I've never gone off the deep end like that or talked to chaos, or anybody that wasn't actually there. How long have you known him? People on meth are fantastic liars, and can put up a front and no matter how well somebody knows you, unless they're doing the same as you and with you, you'd never know when they're lying or telling the truth. I lied my way through the last 7-8 yrs of my life. I was using from the moment I woke up until an hour or so before I tried to get any rest at all. Sleep was/is nearly impossible. I've made it 6 days at the most of staying "up", but still, I wouldn't act like him. Trouble is, none of my friends or family knew any different all of these years. Amazing-huh! I'm always so very very happy when I'm doing meth. Never gotten spooked by anything, it just seemed like a second "skin" to me, that was normal. We always made ourselves eat on it no matter what just so we wouldn't lose it, or starve ourselves to death. Besides, you have to put up a good front to everyone that everything is hunky dorey. Supper like usual. Watch tv, do chores, cook or bake alot. I wonder who else out there is always happy when they're on meth? I'm told I'm the only one so far. My p.o, asked me what I was like on it, and I told her I was always very happy. Her mouth fell to the floor! She said she'd never ever heard of anyone being happy when doing meth. Well, I proved her wrong. I'd say that your significant other is more likely on acid, pcp, or even a deadly mixure of the meth with something else. I can't for the life of me believe that Meth is gonna make you act as stranglely as him. It's more like he is hallucinating and believes it himself maybe. Or else he wants attention, so he's gonna play "poor me, poor me" so he can get what he wants, when he wants it. Maybe he's doin' a s***load (sorry) a day. Maybe an 8ball or more to make him, after a long long travel of doing it.I hope that some of this makes sense to you. My other half also doesn't shut up when he's doing t** and it drives me totally insane!! I'd like to tell him to shut up so I can get away from him. I on the other hand, am quiet as a timid mouse and you're lucky if you could get me to talk. I'd rather be in the peace and quiet, relaxed on it, listening to tunes, and cleaning house. Sing along with the music. Smiling, and laughing. See, it affects eaach individual differently. Of course alot depends on how badly they cut the stuff and with what. I've had some pretty distateful stuff, and I've had some very nummy stuff too. Maybe his was cut with some other strong strong narcotic, and it's eating his brain away, and he'll just never know what hit him. I'd say he's already past the point of stopping his use. I don't give him much hope - and that's from a user looking in and watching them play their games. Maybe write him a nice but subtle letter or a
note explaining how and why you feel the way you do. Everybody is worth saving no matter how far in the hole they've dug themselves, if you have the strenth and will power to turn it down, more power to ya!! I really hope you get a good grip on it (like yesterday,) and please let us know how it goes. I'm sure he's a person worth saving, and he's got to want it for himself or forget it. Did you say in the beginning of your post that you're not a user?? If that's the case, you're really in for an uphill battle. My thoughts and prayers go out to you. If I wasn't an addict myself, I'd never want to get involved in that nasty habit - allowing him to do it, etc....There are other forums out there that are for nonusers that you'd be able to relate with and everything would make alot more sense to you. Not using meth is wonderful. You deserve to be happy and concerned for your safety and his at the same time. Good Luck and keep us informed!! Take Care All,
note explaining how and why you feel the way you do. Everybody is worth saving no matter how far in the hole they've dug themselves, if you have the strenth and will power to turn it down, more power to ya!! I really hope you get a good grip on it (like yesterday,) and please let us know how it goes. I'm sure he's a person worth saving, and he's got to want it for himself or forget it. Did you say in the beginning of your post that you're not a user?? If that's the case, you're really in for an uphill battle. My thoughts and prayers go out to you. If I wasn't an addict myself, I'd never want to get involved in that nasty habit - allowing him to do it, etc....There are other forums out there that are for nonusers that you'd be able to relate with and everything would make alot more sense to you. Not using meth is wonderful. You deserve to be happy and concerned for your safety and his at the same time. Good Luck and keep us informed!! Take Care All,
I was another happy person on meth , I went for over 3 months once only sleeping thursday night ......then a nonstop run through till the next thursday, , I never met chaos ....just got real sleepy come thursday night is all ........I did try some meth someone else had during that streak and saw "trails" a lot that night , I was sure it had something to do with the cut or it's manufacture ...I was lucky ...I always got real clean good meth .
A psychologist once told me a lot of people making meth cut it with heroin to give it that physically addicting factor.....to keep up their customer base.....so when using meth ...you are really taking a big chance .....
AL
A psychologist once told me a lot of people making meth cut it with heroin to give it that physically addicting factor.....to keep up their customer base.....so when using meth ...you are really taking a big chance .....
AL
I know this guy. He's a great person. You can't help but love him. He has such a personality, it's indescribable. I will do everything in my power to help. I will take him to church if he's willing to come. I will also pray. I will pray and have others pray to. And if he is reading this i want to let him know that he rox. You are a strong person. You have the will power to say no. You really do. And if you really want to come with me to church you can. I'm just a phone call away.
with all my love and prayer
* - Julia -*
with all my love and prayer
* - Julia -*
He he JULIA! thevegasbabe! HEY GURL! lo i hope that was you lol :)
well, yeah he was happy on it too! and yes he is commited to stopping, and YES im a meth free person, lol, you maybe right, about him lying, here's a story from friday...
Ok i as in math class, and he got his friend to text me saying he as dieing, and that he was going to the hospital, i cared so much, i cried for two hours, then right as i got home, he answered his phone, he was fine, he said he was sorry for lying and he didn't want to do it again, ever.
He just called me and asked if i wanted to go to the movies with him, and his mom. lol :)
I dont remember what yours all said, they are so very long :)
well, yeah he was happy on it too! and yes he is commited to stopping, and YES im a meth free person, lol, you maybe right, about him lying, here's a story from friday...
Ok i as in math class, and he got his friend to text me saying he as dieing, and that he was going to the hospital, i cared so much, i cried for two hours, then right as i got home, he answered his phone, he was fine, he said he was sorry for lying and he didn't want to do it again, ever.
He just called me and asked if i wanted to go to the movies with him, and his mom. lol :)
I dont remember what yours all said, they are so very long :)
Plus, julia, he is hot, you know you wanna say it! lol! I hate to say this, but i am finally, how should i say this, happy. I have been since i met him, it has all been non-stop happiness(except friday, but i saw him that night and saw he was ok!). And if you knew me like julia does, you would know that, happiness never happens to me, i'm a very negative person, i've lost two really good friends. Nikki-i slapped her and, she deserved it and Angela- just a b***h! so yeah, no one is close to me anymore, not even my "beloved" julia. No one knows me. Im oh so secreative, but now, EVERYONE sees me at school, finally happy, and it was because of him, his imperfections and all (drugs). I'm trying to help, so that i don't see him go, becuase then, i would never be happy, not anymore.
Excuse me for being blunt , but if you are going to be with someone who has addiction problems , will play games with you like .."he is dieing and in the hospital " then there are far more problems than just his addiction . Is being with someone who is "hot" so important that you have sh*t for a relationship??? there are a whole lot more issues you need to think about than just his meth use .
well u said that his use could lead to lying, not you but someone said that. and, remember, his NEIGHBOR said that he was "dieying and in the hospital" not him.
and no he is nice too. just not when he is coming down. and he has a heart, most guys our age, don't. lol.
i didn't mean to sound shallow, lol! julia, my friend is going out with my "bf"'s best friend. lol and i always mess with her saying that spencer is hotter, and has a nicer smile. i hooked julia and his friend up with each other, lol... do you get it now? we was joking...
and no he is nice too. just not when he is coming down. and he has a heart, most guys our age, don't. lol.
i didn't mean to sound shallow, lol! julia, my friend is going out with my "bf"'s best friend. lol and i always mess with her saying that spencer is hotter, and has a nicer smile. i hooked julia and his friend up with each other, lol... do you get it now? we was joking...
