Hello,
Just wanted to let you all know that my son's father is in a detox. He was trying to go two days ago but no one would bring him. A few family members said they would and didn't show up so he went out that night and got high. Called me yesterday and told me he needs to get there and needs to get off the streets. He said he cannot blame anyone but himself and now he needs to help himself. I went against what I said I wouldn't do which was bring him. I was afraid to put him in my car thinking he would go crazy and leave me somewhere and take my car. He has done that before but he seemed sincere. I left work and went to his sister's where he was staying. When I got there he said he wasn't going, that he only used that to get me there. I got so nervous and thought about running out of the house but he would catch me. Then he told me he was joking and he's going, so I dropped him off. It was about a 1/2 hour away. He was quiet in the car and once we got there they told me to stay for a few minutes. I was so afraid he wouldn't be able to stay and then I was stuck with him. But he came out and hugged me and told me he would be there for 3 days and then the rehab he was previously at would pick him up. He said he will be alright and at least I know he's safe now. I'm glad he made the decision for himself, I did not force it on him which I did once and that caused him to leave the next day. I went last night to drop a few changes of clothes for him and some other supplies he was supposed to bring with him. I pray that he stays this time but I really don't have any hope. Now I need to work on myself. I feel that I helped him by getting him there and now the rest is up to him. If he stays I will not hear from him for a while cuz once he gets to the rehab he cannot use the phone for 21 days. Although I'm thinking of him I don't want to hear from him.
Thinking of you..
~LenaL
I know you are relieved that he is in detox. If he stays, then you have at least three weeks to rest and think about yourself. It really helped me a lot when my bf went to rehab, although it was only for 2 weeks and he could call me after 3 days, which he did. I just blew him off. I really enjoyed the time for myself, not having to worry about what he was going to do next. I will say a prayer for both of you! Enjoy!
LenaL
You brought a little inspiration to my day today:) I hope soon it will be me telling the same story! Congratulations you must be sighing a sigh of relief for now. I so hope that things will work out for him.
God bless you!
You brought a little inspiration to my day today:) I hope soon it will be me telling the same story! Congratulations you must be sighing a sigh of relief for now. I so hope that things will work out for him.
God bless you!
Thank you both for responding to me. I don't think it hit me yet. Yesterday was so emotionally draining. And I'm nervous that he will leave. I really don't want to hear his voice. I just want him to stay. It's so sad but I'm glad he made the decision on his own. I was not pressuring him at all. Just keeping my distance from him. His family does not know he went so in a few days they will be wondering. I will not call them as he asked me not to and since I recently got my number changed they will not be able to contact me. Like I said, I will just pray he stays and gets the help that he needs. The morning he called the rehab, I told him something our son said to me. I don't know if that mattered to him but it was very sad. My son is 7, he hugged me and told me that he has a wonderful mommy but she has a bad life. I asked him why he said that and he said cuz of Daddy. Broke my heart, I was speechless.
I sometimes dont know what is more painful to me...watching my husband sink and sink further and wonder how much deeper and how much longer or see my 4 year old try and make a little sense of something he knows is not quite right.
Oh LenaL I hope this is a new beggining for you! I hope everything goes well.
Oh LenaL I hope this is a new beggining for you! I hope everything goes well.
lena, it was quite an act of charity and kindness on your part for you to go through the process of delivering him to receive the help that he says he wants, then helping to see that he has clothes.
as many of us know . . . . what we do for the least of our brothern, we do to him. you seem to have acquired a very healthy attitude about the situation, i should say your situation, and your role in the addiction and in the various relationships.
as much as you didn't want to involve yourself, there is the chance that your son may benefit in the long run. hopefully, the difference is, he asked. maybe he is deciding that he wants to live.
as many of us know . . . . what we do for the least of our brothern, we do to him. you seem to have acquired a very healthy attitude about the situation, i should say your situation, and your role in the addiction and in the various relationships.
as much as you didn't want to involve yourself, there is the chance that your son may benefit in the long run. hopefully, the difference is, he asked. maybe he is deciding that he wants to live.
Well I heard from him. He ended up calling this morning. He called to tell me that he is done with detox, was there for 5 days and that he decided he didn't need rehab and would be coming home. I was speechless. Then I heard the counselor in the background telling him that she didn't think he was being funny. So he was just kidding. The rehab was coming to pick him up. I guess we'll see what happens. I told him to try to identify why he left the rehab last month and why he started using again. He said he didn't plan it, it just happened. You know when I first started coming to the board, last year I didn't understand the "One day at a time" statement. But now after living through this with him it makes so much sense to me. He won't be able to contact anyone for 21 days, which honestly, will be so nice. I had a wonderful weekend with my son. It was a warm out so we spent the weekend outside. He told me that he had a great time with me and was going to write about it when he got back to school!