Hello everyone! I finally have internet again. So much has happened since I stopped coming by daily. I didn't intend to go away...I had every reason to think I had a good job where I could always check in. Boy was I wrong! Life through me another curve ball. Long story short, the lawfirm I worked for decided to shut down the bankruptcy department after only six months because it wasn't "profitable" enough. Come on people...it had only been six months...most businesses don't begin to profit for at least a year. One day I had a job, the next I didn't. It was quite a blow considering that I had just been on the job for six months and I was really enjoying the job. Now I am back on unemployment and dedicating this time to finish writing my novel.
Although I was disappointed and the unexpectedness of it all was jolting, this was right about the time that Russ and I began dating again (we dated 5 years ago but our relationship was one of the casualities of my drinking) and I couldn't be happier. Russ and I remained friends since the break up, we both have had other relationships but always remained friends. When I broke up with Dave, Russ was there for me. When Kari kicked him out, he came to stay with me. However, it has only been on the friendship level until June 7. That day was like any other day. Russ called and we made plans to go for a drive in my new car. Out of nowhere we looked at each other at one point that day and fell back in love and I have never been happier since. I love this man. This is what I've always wanted. He is my best friend, he knows my past, I know his, he supports recovery, isn't a drinker himself, so it just works perfectly. God, I feel so blessed.
It is amazing to experience love now that I love myself. I finally understand what everyone means when they say, "you can't love someone until you love yourself.". I used to hate hearing that saying but now I "get it" and completely agree. I wouldn't be able to experience loving someone in this capacity until I learned to love myself.
I had a very amazing experience on August 12. I was dancing downstairs with Russ's brother and his girlfriend while Russ was at work. Suddenly something shifted, my perspective shifted. It was the first time since I was five years old where I felt completely inside my body. I have tried to explain it to people since but they don't quite understand what I am saying but I'll try to explain it here. Maybe you guys will understand what I mean. It was as if I found my body again. Suddenly something shifted and I finally felt whole. Suddenly I understood that I spent years and years through addiction, eating disorder, self harm and abusive relationships disassociating with myself....I finally found myself again.
I've had a few amazing experiences since this day but I'll save these for later. I'l be around now that I have internet! Horray.
Hope everyone is doing well.
By the way, the novel is coming along great!
I wanna dance with Russ's brother and his girlfriend!
I want to experience that shift of perspective you describe.
Too cool. Good for you.
Mark
I want to experience that shift of perspective you describe.
Too cool. Good for you.
Mark
Come to Utah & you can dance with us all you want. :)
I urge you not to give up on your new line of work too quickly. Lots of lawyers think they can develop a practice area overnight and then learn that it is tougher than it looks.
Try another firm. Some of them are doing just fine with consumer bankruptcy. If you knock on enough doors, one of them will open.
If you can get into commercial bankruptcy (real estate) there is quite a bit of business out there.
Try another firm. Some of them are doing just fine with consumer bankruptcy. If you knock on enough doors, one of them will open.
If you can get into commercial bankruptcy (real estate) there is quite a bit of business out there.
Hi Zip - I am so happy for you. You sound great and you deserve to be happy!
Zipper! So glad you're back...you sound amazing and I'm really happy for you that your life is going so well. I think a successful relationship happens with your best friend.
I can't wait to read your book.
I can't wait to read your book.
It is so good to see you, Cowgirl! I've missed you.