How do I help my Son to get help for his addition to Crack, he is now in jail for theft. He is waiting for his court hearing, he is only 18 years old. Has been to drug treatment, when he was 17. How do I help him???
Philip K - dont know what country you are from but over in ireland when they are in jail they get detoxed there - the problem comes when he gets out - you need to get him into some sort of programm talk to him dont try to force him tell him the hurt he is causing you - the damage he is doing to himself - get him onto this message board even - there are people here who will be more than willing to give him advice
lol outof
lol outof
Philip
First, my heart is with you and so are my prayers. (if you don't mind). I am a daughter of an addict and I'm from U.S.A. I just watched an HBO documentory called "Crack in Small Town X". Some unfortunate information I found out is that anyone who uses crack will forever be craving it, no matter how long they've been away from it. My father went to detox, and he later was admitted to a hospital for severe depression. He has declined going to rehab because "he went before." Its his excuse, thinking that he had time in before that he can do it now. But he isn't doing well now. He was out for two days before he relapsed with drugs. This is your son though, and I know as well as you that he has a whole life ahead of him. He has to want this, because no matter what you do, its his own choice to be clean. I don't know if this is a possibility but the only way (if he refuses rehab) is court ordered. He is an adult and he can sign himself in and out when ever he feels he wants to...unless its court ordered. Much wisedom and understanding and support can be found here. So like outof said, introduce him to this site if at all possible. The hard truth is that as much as you want to help them and be there for him, walking through this with him has a 50% chance of doing right or wrong. You are going to want to watch how you help him because chances are that you could help aide him into doing it. (ex: watch money you offer even the slightest amount, watch your belongings, because he may be tempted to steel even from you.) Most people here have said that the things they say (even hurtful things) is usually the drug talking. There is so much to say and if you go through reading the posts (threads) here, you can gain much insight. Much luck and hope for you and your son.
LLG
P.S. It's said that the 12 step Alcoholics Anonamous is very helpful for loved ones dealing with an addict.
First, my heart is with you and so are my prayers. (if you don't mind). I am a daughter of an addict and I'm from U.S.A. I just watched an HBO documentory called "Crack in Small Town X". Some unfortunate information I found out is that anyone who uses crack will forever be craving it, no matter how long they've been away from it. My father went to detox, and he later was admitted to a hospital for severe depression. He has declined going to rehab because "he went before." Its his excuse, thinking that he had time in before that he can do it now. But he isn't doing well now. He was out for two days before he relapsed with drugs. This is your son though, and I know as well as you that he has a whole life ahead of him. He has to want this, because no matter what you do, its his own choice to be clean. I don't know if this is a possibility but the only way (if he refuses rehab) is court ordered. He is an adult and he can sign himself in and out when ever he feels he wants to...unless its court ordered. Much wisedom and understanding and support can be found here. So like outof said, introduce him to this site if at all possible. The hard truth is that as much as you want to help them and be there for him, walking through this with him has a 50% chance of doing right or wrong. You are going to want to watch how you help him because chances are that you could help aide him into doing it. (ex: watch money you offer even the slightest amount, watch your belongings, because he may be tempted to steel even from you.) Most people here have said that the things they say (even hurtful things) is usually the drug talking. There is so much to say and if you go through reading the posts (threads) here, you can gain much insight. Much luck and hope for you and your son.
LLG
P.S. It's said that the 12 step Alcoholics Anonamous is very helpful for loved ones dealing with an addict.
Hi Phillip,
I am a recovering addict from crack and cocaine. That drug is one of the toughest to stay clean from it seems. It is not the physical addiction that draws you back, it is the mental part of it that has you craving the drug for a long time. I read what lostgirl said and agree in part. I do know people though who have substantial clean time and thier urges have completely subsided. But as she said, it it not unusual for somebody to crave this drug for the rest of thier life. Those cravings however become less and less as time goes on and you are doing the necassary things to stay clean.
I read that he is now in jail awaiting a hearing. I am not sure what that entails. But if the court is aware of his addiction, in many cases the judge or DA will opt for drug counselling and rehab versus jail time or even probation. This may not be a bad thing. If they are not aware of his addiction, it is certainly an option to make them aware. In this type of sentencing he would be required to complete the rehab period as the court demands and required to complete it satisfactorily before he would be relased.
If he does get released and is back on the streets quickly he is very likely to repeat his using. I know I did. I could care less about anything but the drug while I was using. I didn't think it was possible to stop. It got to the point where the drug infested my mind with such ugly thoughts of myself and what I was doing to my family that the only thing that would take those thoughts away ... was more drugs. I finally found help in NA and through the people there. I was finally able to see that I was not alone in the way I felt and also saw that I could get better. You can check out thier website and educate yourself about the disease of addiction and hopefully pass some of what you learn to your son.
na.org
Good Luck!!!
Albert R.
I am a recovering addict from crack and cocaine. That drug is one of the toughest to stay clean from it seems. It is not the physical addiction that draws you back, it is the mental part of it that has you craving the drug for a long time. I read what lostgirl said and agree in part. I do know people though who have substantial clean time and thier urges have completely subsided. But as she said, it it not unusual for somebody to crave this drug for the rest of thier life. Those cravings however become less and less as time goes on and you are doing the necassary things to stay clean.
I read that he is now in jail awaiting a hearing. I am not sure what that entails. But if the court is aware of his addiction, in many cases the judge or DA will opt for drug counselling and rehab versus jail time or even probation. This may not be a bad thing. If they are not aware of his addiction, it is certainly an option to make them aware. In this type of sentencing he would be required to complete the rehab period as the court demands and required to complete it satisfactorily before he would be relased.
If he does get released and is back on the streets quickly he is very likely to repeat his using. I know I did. I could care less about anything but the drug while I was using. I didn't think it was possible to stop. It got to the point where the drug infested my mind with such ugly thoughts of myself and what I was doing to my family that the only thing that would take those thoughts away ... was more drugs. I finally found help in NA and through the people there. I was finally able to see that I was not alone in the way I felt and also saw that I could get better. You can check out thier website and educate yourself about the disease of addiction and hopefully pass some of what you learn to your son.
na.org
Good Luck!!!
Albert R.
I cnnot think of a thing I could add to those who have already replied except that my prayers are with you and you might want to check out aranon.
PHILIP:
MY SON TOO WAS ADDICTED TO CRACK. USE THE COURT SYSTEM TO GET HIM HELP. THAT'S WHAT I DID. WE TOLD HIM HE NEEDED IN-HOUSE TREATMENT. UNFORTUNATELY THIS WILL ONLY HELP IF HE IS READY FOR HELP.
IF HE'S NOT READY YET, LET HIM SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES OF HIS ADDICTION NATURALLY. KEEP TELLING HIM THERE IS HELP WHEN HE IS READY AND DIRECT HIM TO AA. EVEN THOUGH HIS PROBLEM IS DRUGS AA CAN HELP.
AS FOR YOURSELF THERE IS A PROGRAM LIKE AA BUT IT'S FOR THE FAMILY AND LOVED ONES OF ADDICTS. IT'S CALLED AL-ANON. IF YOU DON'T FIND THAT LISTING IN YOUR PHONE DIRECTORY, CALL THE LOCAL AA AND ASK FOR AN AL-ANON MEETING SCHEDULE. YOU'LL MEET OTHER PEOPLE IN YOUR SAME PREDICAMENT AND THEY CAN TELL YOU WHAT THEY DID TO KEEP THEIR OWN SANITY. THE BETTER YOU GET, THE BETTER YOUR SON MAY GET.
DON'T GIVE UP ON HIM, KEEP ENCOURAGING HIM TO GET HELP. BE SURE HE KNOWS HE HAS A SICKNESS. DON'T COVER UP HIS PROBLEMS THOUGH, AS I SAID LET HIM REAP WHAT HE SEWS SO THAT HE WILL WANT TO CHANGE.
BEST OF LUCK TO YOU. I'LL PRAY FOR YOU AND YOUR SON.
BY THE WAY MY SON HAS BEEN CLEAN FOR TWO AND A HALF YEARS. HE'S BACK IN COLLEGE AND DOING WELL AND WORKING AN AA PROGRAM TO MAINTAIN HIS SOBRIETY.
MY SON TOO WAS ADDICTED TO CRACK. USE THE COURT SYSTEM TO GET HIM HELP. THAT'S WHAT I DID. WE TOLD HIM HE NEEDED IN-HOUSE TREATMENT. UNFORTUNATELY THIS WILL ONLY HELP IF HE IS READY FOR HELP.
IF HE'S NOT READY YET, LET HIM SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES OF HIS ADDICTION NATURALLY. KEEP TELLING HIM THERE IS HELP WHEN HE IS READY AND DIRECT HIM TO AA. EVEN THOUGH HIS PROBLEM IS DRUGS AA CAN HELP.
AS FOR YOURSELF THERE IS A PROGRAM LIKE AA BUT IT'S FOR THE FAMILY AND LOVED ONES OF ADDICTS. IT'S CALLED AL-ANON. IF YOU DON'T FIND THAT LISTING IN YOUR PHONE DIRECTORY, CALL THE LOCAL AA AND ASK FOR AN AL-ANON MEETING SCHEDULE. YOU'LL MEET OTHER PEOPLE IN YOUR SAME PREDICAMENT AND THEY CAN TELL YOU WHAT THEY DID TO KEEP THEIR OWN SANITY. THE BETTER YOU GET, THE BETTER YOUR SON MAY GET.
DON'T GIVE UP ON HIM, KEEP ENCOURAGING HIM TO GET HELP. BE SURE HE KNOWS HE HAS A SICKNESS. DON'T COVER UP HIS PROBLEMS THOUGH, AS I SAID LET HIM REAP WHAT HE SEWS SO THAT HE WILL WANT TO CHANGE.
BEST OF LUCK TO YOU. I'LL PRAY FOR YOU AND YOUR SON.
BY THE WAY MY SON HAS BEEN CLEAN FOR TWO AND A HALF YEARS. HE'S BACK IN COLLEGE AND DOING WELL AND WORKING AN AA PROGRAM TO MAINTAIN HIS SOBRIETY.