Hi there, im wrestling with something so please help me out if you can. I go to my meetings as many as i can and accept that sometimes i feel peace other times not, i sit and try to take everything in but I was so bitterly disappointed the last few I've been to. There is a guy who is at the meetings who is 26 yrs dry, he's around 70 something, and a genuine guy, helps others but behaves like he's the Godfather. two tramps came into the meeting with all their worldy goods andsat down after a bit of noise and a fuss but they settled, one of the guys wanted to share and everyone but a few of us were looking down their noses and treated him with contempt, the elderley guy stood up and asked them to leave as he had had a few drinks..but he wanted to share, I felt so bad for him. That could have been anyone of us, and surely he had a right to be there just as much as anyone else! Last week a girl turned up relatively new to AA, I'd seen her there before,saying she was pleased and happy that she boycotted the drinks isle and was doing really well, now she stank of drink, so i knew she was lying to herself as well as me, but I didnt judge, neither did the elderley guy and he MUST have smelt it...she wasnt asked to leave or looked down on....its seems really clicky sometimes at these meetings and i feelt down hearted at the minute over it all, i darent lose the faith or i will be back out there and im doing well at 9 months sober.....hope u are all well and sober today..had to share ......Fi xx
Knowing nothing about the guy it's hard to make any kind of assesment of the situation but like you said,26 years of dry of time could mean just that.I know some guys like that and they can be rigid and some of them are down right bitter.
Were the guys disruptive to the meeting taking place? Did they cut some one off who was sharing? Were you ina good place? It sounds like to me you have a pretty good perspective about the situation.
I know in the meetings I've been at and even chaired before, if someone is drunk or wasted and is going on and on, I will suggest they wait until after the meeting and grab ahold of some people and talk to them and get phone numbers.Every place is different but in Texas that the general protocol.Respect and compassion is the key.Looking down on someone & being rude is really ironic for another drunk to be giving too another drunk.
Congratulations on your 9 months.It's too bad you din't have time to give this guy your phone #.You sound like you got more on the ball than that old geizure.
Were the guys disruptive to the meeting taking place? Did they cut some one off who was sharing? Were you ina good place? It sounds like to me you have a pretty good perspective about the situation.
I know in the meetings I've been at and even chaired before, if someone is drunk or wasted and is going on and on, I will suggest they wait until after the meeting and grab ahold of some people and talk to them and get phone numbers.Every place is different but in Texas that the general protocol.Respect and compassion is the key.Looking down on someone & being rude is really ironic for another drunk to be giving too another drunk.
Congratulations on your 9 months.It's too bad you din't have time to give this guy your phone #.You sound like you got more on the ball than that old geizure.
Fi,
therein lies the gemstone of your reality. These meetings don't always meet with my approval, either, and I am far less serene when I'm evaluating everyone else than when I'm concentrating on my OWN sobriety. Acceptance is the key, and expectations will ALWAYS lead to resentment. Focus on the similarities, and leave the gossippers to their own 'program.' Rather than finding fault, find patience. The Program is the 12 Steps, the Traditions, The Promises, The Big Book. Oft times the Fellowship gets a bit giddy, but eventually the Group Conscience will prevail. I Align your sobriety to those of tolerance, understanding and patience. Talk to your HP about the state of The Fellowship and ask for acceptance through the Serenity Prayer. It works when you work it....
Congratulations on your 9 months! Come back more often--you're a miracle!
S
| QUOTE |
| , i darent lose the faith or i will be back out there and im doing well at 9 months sober..... |
Congratulations on your 9 months! Come back more often--you're a miracle!
S
thanks Tim and SKG lovely to hear from u, the guy wasnt making a scene or getting carried away or anything, he just said bits and was cut short, he disappeared with this friend before the end of the meeting so nobody had chance to give him phone numbers. It wasnt my usual meeting I must say so I shall pull all the stops out to get to my favourite one next time. I try not to be judgemental, and I would expect others to be the same especially in a meeting,jeez there are so many of us in there that have done so many wrongs it would take a life time to make amends but we try to the best of our ability. I dont want to take resentments home, SKG u r right expectations do lead to the bottle if we let it and I'm Damn well determined not to take that lonely route again, if i did it would kill me next time as I dont think I would stop, the guilt would lead to me to worse places. I think I need to do some reading of my big book, I havent 12 stepped yet but looking to so I think i'm doing ok considering I've only listened so far and read, surely I can only get stronger? Sometimes I get really scared that my sobriety will be taken from me, does that make sense?I need to protect it literally with my life and im willing to do anything for this, so Tim myabe that night I wasnt in the right place..the right place in my head that night.
Hi, Flojo. You said, "Sometimes I get really scared that my sobriety will be taken from me, does that make sense?I need to protect it literally with my life and im willing to do anything for this."
It makes absolutely every sense in the world. What I found with my sobriety is that once I actually got the ability to think, I started to wane--and spend alot of time obsessing over not obsessing. What The Steps have done is allow me to not only STOP drinking, but it's also relieved the obsession--I've stopped fighting everything and everyone; Gained some life-tools that I never managed to pick up whilst drinking, and I've not only stopped, but I'm healing. My life is no longer surrounded by threats to sobriety, but just plain life that I would have taken to drinking over before. It's a design for living that more people should give themselves an opportunity to experience. I can honestly tell you that I've never met someone who has actually WORKED the 12 Steps who's unhappy with their lives.
Just my experience.
It makes absolutely every sense in the world. What I found with my sobriety is that once I actually got the ability to think, I started to wane--and spend alot of time obsessing over not obsessing. What The Steps have done is allow me to not only STOP drinking, but it's also relieved the obsession--I've stopped fighting everything and everyone; Gained some life-tools that I never managed to pick up whilst drinking, and I've not only stopped, but I'm healing. My life is no longer surrounded by threats to sobriety, but just plain life that I would have taken to drinking over before. It's a design for living that more people should give themselves an opportunity to experience. I can honestly tell you that I've never met someone who has actually WORKED the 12 Steps who's unhappy with their lives.
Just my experience.
Gidday All
At the end of a AA meeting they should ask if there is any buisness to be discussed or when you share ask for a conscious meeting at the end of the meeting, then bring up the examples of what happened as they happen, dont give anything you see as harmfull time in your head alone and it brings it all out and maybe it will create a stir but as long as it is sorted.
Meetings are about sharing what is happening for us and not what we think others need to hear, so if it annoys share about it and see what transpires, if the oldtimer throws a wobbly then he has some work to do or maybe there is a plausible side dunno but no one will know if nothing is asked in or out of the meeting to the people involved
light and love Zac.
At the end of a AA meeting they should ask if there is any buisness to be discussed or when you share ask for a conscious meeting at the end of the meeting, then bring up the examples of what happened as they happen, dont give anything you see as harmfull time in your head alone and it brings it all out and maybe it will create a stir but as long as it is sorted.
Meetings are about sharing what is happening for us and not what we think others need to hear, so if it annoys share about it and see what transpires, if the oldtimer throws a wobbly then he has some work to do or maybe there is a plausible side dunno but no one will know if nothing is asked in or out of the meeting to the people involved
light and love Zac.
