I have been struggling with alcohol addiction all my life.. I need help ..I am not a hard core alcholic but I have problems... Recently went through a bad break up and it is not helping my problems .. ..I have made mistakes and I dont know what to do.
I stop drinking for weeks at a time but I am embarrased to go to an AA meeting;
Not into telling my story in front of strangers...I am a private person .. I am in so much pain right now...lost
Welcome BlondnYer,
I'm sorry that you are going through difficult times. I may be able to offer some advice and hope, if your willing to tell whats wrong. I'm curious what you think a hard card core alcoholic is? I understand about being a private person. I'm one to and tend to be a loner. You don't have to speak at AA. You can just listen. I hope you will feel better soon.
I'm sorry that you are going through difficult times. I may be able to offer some advice and hope, if your willing to tell whats wrong. I'm curious what you think a hard card core alcoholic is? I understand about being a private person. I'm one to and tend to be a loner. You don't have to speak at AA. You can just listen. I hope you will feel better soon.
Hi there blond and welcome to the board. I am an alcoholic and have been sober for 5 and half months. your post really touched me. I am glad that you decided to post on here. It shows you are willing to admit that you have a problem and that is the first step. Alcohol makes everyone lost and we are all trying to find our way back. we have all been down to the depts of despair,remorse and pain so please believe me when I tell you that you are not alone. It takes strength and courage to rid oneself from the chains of alcohol and I am happy to see that you are willing to do so. In the meantime hang in there and do whatever you have to do in order to not drink. No matter how bad a situation is it can always be made worse by drinking. That is one of the things I have learned so I am talking from experience. I wish you all the best and I am willing to be your friend as I am sure everyone on this board is. They are a great bunch of guys and ones that I have come to depend on tremendously for support and advice. Good luck to you,keep posting and know that people really do care . God bless and take care.
Welcome, BlondNYer. You're in the right place. Tell us a bit about yourself--like how you drink, and what happens. If you're willing to do whatever it takes to learn how to manage your addiction we may be able to provide some insight.
I was doing so well and not drinking and then my personal life interfered. My boyfriend of seven years has been cheating on me for six months with another woman ... it killed me....I am stuck paying all the bills... the rent....I moved to
Florida with him and uprooted my whole life from NY. I feel very alone I dont have a big family and limited friendships (I dont trust many people). Yep I have been drinking to ease the pain and try to get through this. It doesnt help it just makes everything worse. Sure people can talk to you on the phone but its not the same. I have struggled with alcoholism all my life and now I know its taking a turn for the worse. I am a loving caring person and I just feel I am hell now I really do. Both my parents are passed....I miss my mom so much if only to hold her right now. I hope to god I get some kind of a sign from her to tell myself what to do. I honestly havent felt this bad since my brothers death.
I guess picking up the bottle eases the pain but only temporarily. You only wake up with a hang over and the problems are all still there when you wake up.
I wish I could stop crying and see the light. My emotions are racing. I often wonder why me...
Florida with him and uprooted my whole life from NY. I feel very alone I dont have a big family and limited friendships (I dont trust many people). Yep I have been drinking to ease the pain and try to get through this. It doesnt help it just makes everything worse. Sure people can talk to you on the phone but its not the same. I have struggled with alcoholism all my life and now I know its taking a turn for the worse. I am a loving caring person and I just feel I am hell now I really do. Both my parents are passed....I miss my mom so much if only to hold her right now. I hope to god I get some kind of a sign from her to tell myself what to do. I honestly havent felt this bad since my brothers death.
I guess picking up the bottle eases the pain but only temporarily. You only wake up with a hang over and the problems are all still there when you wake up.
I wish I could stop crying and see the light. My emotions are racing. I often wonder why me...
Hi blond how are you doing today? I hope you are feeling better. No doubt life can get be very difficult at times. To be lonely when you are around other people is the worst kind of loneliness one can experience. I know the feeling. I still feel that way many times. I am sorry that you dont have your parents to go to anymore. I am also sorry that your relationship with your BF is over. Some things are not meant to be. accept the situation with your bf tho and move on with your life. I know its easier said than done but you will find the strength to do so. Just don't look for it in the bottle.You need to try and stay focused on your recovery. You are worth it.It will be hard and it takes a lot of courage to stay sober but its the best gift that you can give yourself. The self pity mode is such an easy trap to fall into. It is a self destructive emotion and one that the demon of alcohol relishes so do your best to think as positive as you can.What I am about to say please dont take it the wrong way. I do not mean to offend you I am just merely trying to make you understand that we all go through some painful times. Why me you may ask? Blond life deals us all hard blows sometimes which causes pain and suffering and Hell at times life sucks.we all have a burden to bear at some point in our lives and this is your burden for now. but with it comes the opportunity to learn and grow.Look at it as a challenge and one that you can overcome. It is up to us how we deal with it. we can wallow in self pity which will accomplish nothing or we can face it head on and fight for what we are worth because blond no matter if we are alcoholic,what we have done or how far down the scale we have gone we are WORTHY people and we DESERVE a good life and we owe it to ourselves to strive towards making it possible. Stay strong and stay focused. count your blessings and try and stay positive.I wish I could give you the hugs you would like to have but you have my support 100 %and hugs coming to you from across the miles ((((( )))) and good luck. take care and God bless.
BlondNYer,
There IS hope and there is a solution. Truly. Care to share where in FL you are? skg
There IS hope and there is a solution. Truly. Care to share where in FL you are? skg
Gidday BlondNYer
Your Ma is giving you a sign...as you are already seeking an answer to your problems and also it is the endless hope that you will discover and a renewed gratitude for life that you will feel as you put down the booze and pick up again on life.
Your mum will be around in ways that you know just slow down and pause as this will help clear the fog, also talk to her:)
Check around your neighbourhood for any AA meetings and keep posting
light and love Zac
Your Ma is giving you a sign...as you are already seeking an answer to your problems and also it is the endless hope that you will discover and a renewed gratitude for life that you will feel as you put down the booze and pick up again on life.
Your mum will be around in ways that you know just slow down and pause as this will help clear the fog, also talk to her:)
Check around your neighbourhood for any AA meetings and keep posting
light and love Zac
BlondNYer,
When you check back in, let us know how you're doing. There IS hope and help and it's simple to start. We can help.
skg.
When you check back in, let us know how you're doing. There IS hope and help and it's simple to start. We can help.
skg.
BlondeNYer: First of all, I wanted to extend a warm welcome to ARG. Secondly, I am sorry to hear of the passing of your parents, your brother, and the end of your relationship. I sentiment Zac's message...your sign has already been given and perhaps part of that sign is that you stumbled upon this site. You are not alone. Keep posting.
Again, welcome. Prayers and thoughts coming from Salt Lake City.
Again, welcome. Prayers and thoughts coming from Salt Lake City.
BlondNYer,
I am sorry you are having such a difficult time and I'm glad you decided to reach out.
You don't ever have to feel alone again.
Welcome,
Martin
I am sorry you are having such a difficult time and I'm glad you decided to reach out.
You don't ever have to feel alone again.
Welcome,
Martin
BlondNYer,
Checking in and noticed your post.
I am very sorry you are having such a hard time. There are never appropriate words to heal pain, especially losses such as yours. But, lets get onto you.
You know that the alcohol is not helping, only making things worse.
I gather you want to stop but don't know exactly how or even if you have what it takes to do it. Well, let me tell you, I was like you. I wanted to stop, couldn't.
Would stop for short periods of time and pick right up where I left off only to have things become even worse than they were. I didn't want to go to AA due to embarassment. Wow was that an understatement. The bottle soothed my pain temporarily but when that wore off, I was back to me and my issues.
First let me say, I made myself go to a meeting and then another and then another. That was hard. To me, even my appearance in those rooms was admitting that I couldn't control my drinking and that was something I wasn't sure I could except. The shame and remorse and guilt of not only the act of drinking but the realization that I couldn't control it made me feel like I was nothing but a weak person with little to no "will power". I felt alone, terrified and terribly ashamed and guilt ridden. I knew in my heart, I had to lay down all of that, put my back to the wall and go to a meeting. The first few meetings I cried because of all I listed above. But, I must tell you the people there were very supportive ( which I needed because I could'nt lean on myself and had no one else I could really trust to lean on). They didn't make me feel inferior or weak.
In fact, I found that if I would just listen, there was always someone there who experienced my same feelings, actions and many time were even much worse than myself. I encourage you to muster what ever energy you use to take a drink and go to a meeting instead. Give it a chance, it will make a great difference in your life. You will find the people are kind and supportive. You will also learn so much about yourself and others as well. You will be surpised to find that so many of them are JUST LIKE YOU! I am not trying to push AA on you but if you are like I was, it was my only hope. You might find that you don't agree with EVERYTHING they practice there, but one of AA's "sayings" ( for lack of better word) is to TAKE WHAT YOU NEED AND LEAVE THE REST. Get out of it what you know applies to you but be very honest with yourself and keep an open mind and leave everthing else at the door when you leave. The next time,you leave the room, you may take a litte more with you.
Hope this helps a little. Remember to take a deep breath, don't beat yourself up and keep reaching inside for YOU!
Best of Luck to you.
Trimmer
Checking in and noticed your post.
I am very sorry you are having such a hard time. There are never appropriate words to heal pain, especially losses such as yours. But, lets get onto you.
You know that the alcohol is not helping, only making things worse.
I gather you want to stop but don't know exactly how or even if you have what it takes to do it. Well, let me tell you, I was like you. I wanted to stop, couldn't.
Would stop for short periods of time and pick right up where I left off only to have things become even worse than they were. I didn't want to go to AA due to embarassment. Wow was that an understatement. The bottle soothed my pain temporarily but when that wore off, I was back to me and my issues.
First let me say, I made myself go to a meeting and then another and then another. That was hard. To me, even my appearance in those rooms was admitting that I couldn't control my drinking and that was something I wasn't sure I could except. The shame and remorse and guilt of not only the act of drinking but the realization that I couldn't control it made me feel like I was nothing but a weak person with little to no "will power". I felt alone, terrified and terribly ashamed and guilt ridden. I knew in my heart, I had to lay down all of that, put my back to the wall and go to a meeting. The first few meetings I cried because of all I listed above. But, I must tell you the people there were very supportive ( which I needed because I could'nt lean on myself and had no one else I could really trust to lean on). They didn't make me feel inferior or weak.
In fact, I found that if I would just listen, there was always someone there who experienced my same feelings, actions and many time were even much worse than myself. I encourage you to muster what ever energy you use to take a drink and go to a meeting instead. Give it a chance, it will make a great difference in your life. You will find the people are kind and supportive. You will also learn so much about yourself and others as well. You will be surpised to find that so many of them are JUST LIKE YOU! I am not trying to push AA on you but if you are like I was, it was my only hope. You might find that you don't agree with EVERYTHING they practice there, but one of AA's "sayings" ( for lack of better word) is to TAKE WHAT YOU NEED AND LEAVE THE REST. Get out of it what you know applies to you but be very honest with yourself and keep an open mind and leave everthing else at the door when you leave. The next time,you leave the room, you may take a litte more with you.
Hope this helps a little. Remember to take a deep breath, don't beat yourself up and keep reaching inside for YOU!
Best of Luck to you.
Trimmer
